Per My Last Email...

Per My Last Email...

1. This Week’s Encouragement

It rarely happens, but it happened. I got the email. You know, the one that makes you question whether the person on the other end has any idea how keyboards—or basic human decency—work. It was so shockingly rude, I had to step away from my computer, lace up my sneakers, harness my dog and take a walk around the neighborhood before I could even think about crafting a reply.

Now, if you're anything like me (and I suspect you are), you're sending and receiving hundreds of emails a day. And in that whirlwind, it still blows my mind how something meant to improve our productivity can so easily wreak havoc on our relationships, create team tension, and sometimes even lead to full-blown work drama. All because of a few misfired keystrokes.

Emails can escalate from helpful to hurtful in the blink of an eye. It’s like handing someone a butter knife to spread jam, and then watching them use it to hack through the whole loaf. Communication is everything, but we often forget that behind every email is a person who’s probably just as busy, stressed, and human as we are.

As a seasoned CEO and former PR pro, I’ve been asked countless times, “How should I respond to this?” or “What’s the best way to say that?” And let me tell you—I’ve learned that responding from a place of frustration almost never ends well. So, let’s walk through a little process for when that next eyebrow-raising email pops into your inbox.

  1. Pause Before You Hit Send. I know it’s tempting to fire off a “per my last email” with a side of snark, but take a moment. Read the email again, but this time, read it with fresh eyes. What was the intended message? Chances are, the person wasn’t actually trying to offend you. Maybe they’re swamped, stressed, or just not great with words. Before you respond, ask yourself: “What’s their true intention here?”
  2. Remove the Emotion. If your first instinct is to react (because honestly, who doesn’t love a good clapback?), take a breath. No matter how upset you are, your response will land better if it’s calm, clear, and professional. Anger has a sneaky way of showing up in syntax, so before you hit send, check: does my tone match my intention?
  3. Use Your Tools (Including AI!). If you're still fuming, go ahead and write that fiery, cathartic response—but don’t send it. Use it to vent, then let AI be your cooler head. Tools like ChatGPT can help you reframe your message in a way that deescalates while still getting your point across. You’d be amazed how quickly a well-crafted, neutral email can diffuse a tense situation.

At the end of the day, emails are just words on a screen, but they have real impact. Let’s be mindful of how we use them—because the right message at the right time can move mountains, but the wrong one? It just builds walls.


2. Event Recommendation: Armoire Presents – A South Asian Fashion Show

Now, my inbox isn’t always filled with snarky emails (thank goodness!). Sometimes, I get absolute gems—like a recent one from Ambika Singh , the fabulous CEO of Armoire . They are hosting the Seattle fashion event of the year and I just had to share with you all.

Armoire Presents: A South Asian Fashion Show – an exclusive collection that reimagines South Asian tradition with a modern flair, just in time for Diwali.

Whether you're part of the community or a guest of the festivities, you’ll find a curated collection of stunning garments available for rent.

The event will showcase how clothing rental can refresh traditional attire while honoring heritage. Perfect for weddings, festive gatherings, or simply elevating your look, this collection lets you experiment, mix, and match—making this Diwali truly unforgettable.

What: Armoire Presents: A South Asian Fashion Show

Where: Sodo Row -- 4786 1st Ave S suite 105, Seattle WA

Date: Friday, October 18 · 7 - 10pm PDT

Tickets: Only a few tickets remain. Grab yours here.



3. ?Reading Recommendation: Harvard Business Review: How to Write Better Emails At Work by Jeff Su

This week’s pick is a must-read from Harvard Business Review titled "How to Write Better Emails at Work.” by productivity expert Jeff Su . ?If you’ve ever found yourself buried in email threads, unsure if your message is clear (or even helpful), this article is your go-to.

It covers practical strategies for making your emails more effective—like how to structure them for clarity, avoid miscommunication, and ensure that your emails are actionable, not overwhelming. A quick and insightful read, perfect for anyone looking to upgrade their workplace communication.

Need more? I highly recommend the plethora of tools that Jeff recommends on his site .



4. Quote:

"Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity." — Nat Turner

5. Be a Better Bully Today -- Even in Email

At Success Bully , we’re on a mission to build 10 Million Better Bullies —not by being harsh, but by empowering you to face the bullies in your life with firm grace and unshakable confidence. Whether silencing that inner critic or managing difficult personalities at work, mastering clear communication can create a positive ripple effect in your personal and professional life.

We live in unprecedented times where four generations coexist in the workforce, each bringing unique communication styles and expectations. Add to that the lingering effects of a global pandemic and the challenges of a remote work environment, and it's clear that effective communication is no longer just a skill—it’s an absolute necessity.

In this complex landscape, it's important to recognize that sometimes, the biggest obstacle isn’t an external bully, but our own self-doubt and critical voice. Small moments of impatience or miscommunication can lead to tension and contribute to a toxic work environment. But by fostering heightened self-awareness and refined communication skills, we can transform these moments into opportunities for deeper connection, civility and collaboration.

Introducing Our Outside Bully Series

Join our dynamic, interactive sessions designed to cultivate self-awareness, sharpen active listening skills, and promote constructive communication. While we can’t guarantee flawless interactions overnight, we equip you with actionable tools and strategies to start transforming your relationships and build trust within your team.

Utilizing our exclusive B.U.L.L.Y. framework, this hands-on experience provides practical techniques to communicate clearly, resolve conflicts, and create a supportive, high-functioning environment.

Spots are limited for our end-of-year trainings! Let’s ensure you close out 2024 with clarity, confidence, and momentum. Book a call today , and let’s strategize how we can help.


Action shot from my SHRM NorCal talk

As always, Thank you for taking the time to read this week’s Take 5 Tuesday! I truly appreciate you being part of the Success Bully community. If today’s thoughts resonated with you, I’d love for you to share it with someone who might need that extra push. Don't forget to comment, like, or drop me a line—I always enjoy hearing your feedback!

Let's get after it,

Keita -- Your Favorite Success Bully

mogalapu srinivasarao

Self Employed at DBC'S SONS (SHIPPING) PRIVATE LIMITED

1 个月

We read again, we will have to give an amicable solution.

回复

Took a deep sign when I read this, a timely reminder frankly on all electronic communication which can feel like an unexpected punch in the face for all kinds of reasons. Great reminder about the power of breath and resetting our nervous system before reacting. Reset to respond rather than "react". Appreciate the transparency!

My sister's go-to is, "Would you like to try that again?" Very likely derived from a background in early childhood education. She's in the running for sainthood I swear.

Stefany Wilson

Passionate, value-driven, organized, and seasoned project manager.

1 个月

ChatGPT has been a game changer for me when I want to clap back. Also, trying to remember they may not be mad at you but something else that is going on. Thanks for the reminders on everything

回复
Clarise Tolentino

Technology Training Coordinator

1 个月

I just had this experience today. And just like you said… I walked away to breathe… and read your message ?? It is such a great reminder of what could have been if I replied right away! ?????? Thank you!

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