PEr Chronicles: Vulnerability can be a superpower

From Iron Man to Spider-Man to the Incredible Hulk to the X-Men, Marvel legend Stan Lee captured our imagination and our attention. The father of these superheroes died at age 95.

"Another definition of a hero is someone who is concerned about other people’s well-being, and will go out of his or her way to help them – even if there is no chance of a reward. That person who helps others simply because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero," Stan the Man once said. 

These days, too many people are determined to get to the top and willing to get that power any way they can. Undercutting, sidestepping, overstepping, taking people out at the knees, or just going over someone's head - whatever it takes. Too many people, when they get the power they're after, they realize they don't have what it takes to make it effective: respect. 

If a leader has power but no love, compassion, empathy or care for others, then that leader has an empty sort of power. A powerless power. 

I'll say this simply: when it comes to leading, the power of influence always trumps the power of coercion. You pull people in your direction, rather than push them. They follow you because they are drawn to your authenticity and your actions.

I am interested in my team members' lives. (I also know that most people are even more keenly interested in their own lives). Sadly, few leaders ask their team members about their family, their interests, their passions or what they want. 

I am a ladder builder, not a ladder climber. I am always saying, "What can I do to help you? How would I make you successful?" If you make your team successful, your team's going to make you successful. 

I am not afraid to be vulnerable. The bottom line is, I admit that I'm going to make mistakes and I'm going to screw up. My people are able to see me for who I truly am, which give them the confidence to express themselves to me. They will tell me when I am nakedly wrong and I have no clothes on. And I need that, because ultimately, success is not about me in the first place. Success is about others, and it's about the mission and the organization. 

Nobody's perfect. When we attempt to present a perfect version of ourselves, we become unapproachable. As a result, false perfection can often turn people off.

Of course, I am in no way saying I do things perfectly, or that I always get things right with my team. Sometimes I blow it completely. But when you get real with people, when you show vulnerability, you connect with them, and you move them to a human level. That gives you real power. 

And with great power there must also come....great responsibility! – Spider-Man