PEr Chronicles: Put your problem in proper perspective

Jab or job? Thousands of organisations are weighing up how best to bring workers safely back to their desks after many months of remote working. They are also aware that making vaccination demands of their staff is a moral minefield. LinkedIn has seen a ‘dramatic spike’ in job ads requiring immunization. Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla predicts normal life will return within a year and adds we may need annual Covid shots. Vaccination passports and travel lanes will be the new normal.

What is one thing you will do differently as a result of Covid-19?

To care more about doing good than making yourself look good? To give credit freely rather than seeking glory yourself? To seek feedback so you can get better and better over time? To be comfortable being your authentic self? To be happy with who you are at the core?

At different times in our lives, we all need a new perspective. It is my hope that this article will give you a new perspective, too.

I would like to begin with an assumption. You may want to disagree. In any case, I am assuming that you we all want happiness. Please be patient with me as I try to explain my thinking. I believe that every one of us experiences an inborn desire to be happy. But as we grow, we experience pain, failure, criticism and disappointment. I am sure that you can remember, as I do, building up an anticipation only to watch it fall apart. We dreamed, for example, that if only there was a “bicycle under the Christmas tree” life would be forever glorious. The one Christmas morning, a shiny new bike did appear under the Christmas tree. We were ecstatic. But in the days that followed, the paint began to chip off, the fenders got dented, the axles started squeaking. The dream had slowly, almost painlessly, died. But by this time we had begun another dream anyway. One by one they all seemed to have meteoric moments and then die. Our hope for lasting happiness got lost somewhere along the way.

To transform your life, change your expectations.

Why do some people survive the tough times when others are overcome by them? Why do you think some soar when others sink?

The answer if very simple, it’s all in how they perceive their problems. Expectations have a lot to do with happiness. It is one of those life lessons that is hardest to learn.

If the subject of an ocean cruise comes up, do you expect fresh breezes, delicious and abundant food and the exotic port of calls? Or do you imagine rough water, small quarters and seasickness – the Titanic? If you have gone on a cruise, did reality match your expectations, or were there some surprises?

Positive expectations don’t always breed positive experiences. Those with idealistic expectations are often disappointed when reality doesn’t meet them.

Have you gone to a film, or party or vacation expecting it to be absolutely fantastic? Did your experiences meet your expectation? Do you think your experience would have been different if you had different expectations, or none at all?

The Chinese proverb says this: there are three truths – my truth, your truth, the truth.

Yes, every living person has problems. So whenever you’re feeling like the challenge you’re facing is insurmountable, think through these fantastical-sounding accomplishments that have been nonetheless already been achieved.

Engineering a flying vehicle that weighs hundreds of tons and can soar through the air at hundreds of kilometers an hour while carrying hundreds of people. Taking a heart from one person and putting it into the body of another person to save a life. Creating a supercomputer that fits into your pocket. Searching all of the world’s information in less than a second. Creating “meat” without animals.

My own life experiences have involved me with people in various walks of life. Many others have shared with me their personal struggles and successes. Over the years of this human involvement, I have made many mental notes about the apparent roads to happiness. There are also clear memories of my own successes and my own failures.

Too many people today lack gratitude. From not saying “thank you” to the kind soul holding the lift door open for us to showing deep social apathy toward the opportunities presented to us, it’s evident we are living through a drought of gratitude.

Everyone of us comes into this world with a resident gift -some of us are blessed with a multitude of them. I’m a person of faith, so I believe these are gifts bestowed by God. Everything starts with us being given something, from our very lives to our innate talents and abilities. How dare we not have a sense of deep, abiding gratitude for these?

In a society that has you counting money, calories, kilograms and steps, be a rebel and count your blessings instead.

Whether a gift comes in the form of a brilliant performance at a concert or someone letting you into traffic on a busy street, show a little gratitude. Even the smallest amount of gratitude goes such a long way, and for a seemingly small investment, it has a huge payoff.

It can be as simple as using a “thank you” to close all your emails, or telling folks face-to-face that you appreciate them, as I do.?