PEr Chronicles: Have you felt like giving up lately?

Welcome to Y2K Lite. The predicted Y2K disaster - a computer programming flaw that was expected to cause global havoc as the year changed from 1999 to 2000 - never happened. But the latest CrowdStrike glitch caused similar widespread IT outages that sent banks, retailers and airports into chaos.

Although the “Millennium bug” IT storm I was promised in my 30’s never happened, there have been many other storms in my life personally and professionally. Like everyone else, I have had my disappointments, defeats, frustrations and set-backs. During the past few years, I have become more convinced than ever that we are all a product of the storms we endure. Each of us, at this very moment, is either struggling with a storm, exiting a storm or entering one.

No one is prepared for the rug to be pulled from under your feet. It brings you down to your knees with shards of glass around your feet. Your old ways of going about your life are no longer sufficient. I understand how you may be feeling. Your heart is completely broken and your dreams no more. Heavy hearted and full of dread, you sense a long and desolate journey ahead of you. I know – I felt it, too.

A wise man once said, “Life is 100% what happens to you, and 90% how you deal with it.” Is that true?

You don’t get to choose who dies or who leaves you, or what happens to you, but you get to choose how you stand and how you move forward. You get to choose how you think and where you put your attention and focus.

Don’t “awfulize” what you’re feeling. I admit, on those truly rough days, I sink in a personal pool of quicksand inside me. But no matter how I feel, I get up, dress up, and show up for life.

I have learned that pain does not have to be wasted. Life is too short for long pity parties. If we spend time reviewing our pain and learning from it, rather than simply regretting it, we will discover that pain, like no other source, can supply our hearts and minds with invaluable wisdom and insight.

One of the most uncomfortable and humbling experiences a person can endure is … change. But the person who is strong enough to humble him/herself for the sake of positive change will inevitably attain great personal growth and satisfaction.

My “moment of truth” came when a group of well-meaning team members approached me and shared their feelings about my management style. They were not getting the kind of leadership they needed from me to do the job I required of them. True assessment is never particularly easy. What bothered me was the feeling that I had let the team members down.

From that point forward I began to redefine the way I thought of others. I began to adjust my leadership style. I learned that surrounding yourself with strong, good people allow you to be stronger yourself. Looking back, if those team members hadn’t had the guts to tell me how they were feeling, who knows where I would be today.

I fully expect there to be many more roadblocks in my life but I know I’ll have the strength to persevere and above all remain true to myself and be happy. It’s not the hand you’re dealt…it’s the way you play the cards!