PEr Chronicles: Face the facts of your situation

RIP Blackberry. It’s the end of an era when the once-great brand officially decommissioned the use of its software. Sales topped $10billion at one point in time, its stock went from $10 up to the $130 range. Everyone who was anyone owned a Blackberry. I’ve been a raving fan and Blackberry user for many years. In 2007, it got caught completely by surprise when Steve Jobs walked on stage and said “This is an iPhone”, and Apple changed the smartphone landscape.

There are only two types of companies -- the quick and the dead. ?While this sort of thing happens all the time in the business world, what caused the implosion?

Their leaders’ arrogance and attitude spelled their downfall. They never cared about the customer. They never cared about innovation. The CEO not only wasn’t being objective or honest with the troops, He didn’t confront reality and was not objective in his assessments of the current situation and what needs to happen in the future.?Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

Oftentimes I’ve found that people have areas in their lives that they simply choose to ignore – because they think the situations are hopeless or they are in denial or they are just plain too busy.

What are you avoiding looking at? What are you afraid to share?

Here is a sampling of the common issues leaders whom I have spoken with are grappling with and have been hesitant or fearful to address:

Feeling the job is all-consuming and the rest of life is on hold – or worse.

Having concerns about life outside of work (common areas of concern are relationship with family, lack of fitness, and love life)

Experiencing insecurity and doubts about how they are viewed by others

Wanting to change the company culture, which isn’t high performing , but not knowing how

Worrying about their relationship with their boss

Dealing with underperforming team members – especially if the poor performer is someone the leader has known a long time

Understanding a new management style.

At the deepest level, it’s a question of meaning: life is going past in a blur, and they are completely exhausted and not that happy. Is it worth it?

My interaction with leaders around the world has shown me that it is indeed lonely at the top. The cold reality is that a senior leader has very few places to go to be completely open and honest. Most of these topics are difficult – if not impossible – to discuss within an organization, and you probably don’t have anyone to go to within it even if you wanted to. Partners at home may not understand.

No one succeeds alone. So many people have asked me how I’ve “done it” and the answer is “I didn’t do it alone.”

I’ve had more mentors than anyone else I know. My dad was my first mentor – and the most significant. I wouldn’t have made it through school, marketing studies and MBA without cheerleaders who challenged me not just to dream but to dream bigger.

I wouldn’t have figured out the worlds of credit cards, insurance, hospitality, sales and marketing without the help of literally dozens of mentors who helped me get in the door, figure out how each vertical and function worked, then find my way to the next opportunity when it was time (and before it was too late). I wouldn’t have made the leap in leadership and life perspective without the ingenuity and guidance of my success coach, who’ve had the largest and most lasting influence on my life. ?I’ve learned so much from my success coach about life, business, success and happiness.

Find someone to give you the critical feedback others won’t. The reality is that honest feedback is a gift, but most people hate it, so people avoid giving it.

People can get so deeply immersed in their field, that they find it hard to pull themselves back to a distance from which they can see the forest for the trees. Beware of expert-itis. Adopting a “less is more” mindset also can be hard for ambitious leaders, who often feel a sense of urgency to accomplish a lot quickly. Being able to say “no” or “not now” were important lessons for me.

Even if you are a top performer, admit to yourself that you need help now and then. Don’t let pride keep you from asking for help. Seek help from more than one coach or confidant if your situation requires someone with special knowledge.

In my own life, I make myself available as a confidant because I find it personally satisfying to help somebody else who is in the same situation I’ve encountered. ?