People Who Demand to Speak to Someone More Senior than You
Chris Webber
Business Performance By Succeeding with Difficult Customers | Podcast Host | LinkedIn Top Voice
?I used to have a customer in South Wales who loved to feel special and important.
He would tell stories of his status and wealth. He would drive around in a Rolls Royce but refuse to bring it to work, in case it gave the wrong impression.
Instead, he would drive his new Jaguar to the office, something less eye catching, he would say.
Yet, everyone knew he had the Rolls Royce, and of course we also all saw the Jaguar.
He loved to describe his holidays, trips to top hotels in Dubai and he would always insist on eating at top restaurants and drinking expensive whiskey.
On one occasion we drove to Bristol to eat at one of his favourite places. When we arrived we were greeted warmly at the door by the maitre d', as is typical for restaurants. But this was not good enough for my customer.
He stood at the door, looking very unhappy.
He said to the young lady, "where is the manager? I come here often, I am one of your best customers and when I arrive I expect to be greeted by the manager of the restaurant."
She was very kind and empathetic in her response. She apologised to him and explained that he indeed is a valued customer, but the manager was very busy this evening and was unable to come to the door, but he would come to the table and say hello during the evening.
My customer was not fully satisfied, but accepted this proposal.
True to their word, during the starters the restaurant manager arrived at the table to say hello. He was friendly and warm and my customer was pleased. In addition he offered us a aperitif as a token gesture.
Do you know this type of personality?
Achieving High Status as a Driver of Behaviour
Some people need to feel important and special, their ego demands it.
We all share this sensation and it is normal.
Consider a birthday or special occasion. We love it when other people make an extra effort to make it a special experience. Being the centre of attention feels nice.
It is easy to understand why this feeling can become addictive.
It becomes a problem when the people we are dealing with at work are driven by this need all the time.
We can come across customers or managers who constantly demand to be the centre of attention.
They could refuse to talk to people they consider to be junior.
Perhaps they feel entitled to join or leave meetings at any point without explanation
Maybe they demand special treatment such as better accommodation, food or transport.?
The problem is that they can make us feel sub-standard & inadequate, mostly they make us feel disempowered.
There is an expectation that we bow to their status and allow them special treatment.
Status Gives Them Extra Value
In the story I shared at the start of this article you will notice that along with the visit to the table the difficult behaviour of my customer was rewarded by extra drinks.
There is value available to people who demand that others treat them with higher status.
There are systems that engineer this situation. Consider loyalty schemes run through airlines as an example.
Customers with greater status are rewarded by additional services such as additional luggage, early boarding and access to lounges.
This status is highly sought after and defended with vigour because many of us want to feel special and earn these additional rewards.
In the traditions of hierarchy, higher status people are more empowered to give away value and make decisions. If my behaviour forces you to treat me with greater status, and you are required to find people of greater or equal status to me, then you are providing me with access to people willing and able to give me rewards.
Therefore there are two reasons to behave in ways that force you to treat me with status.
Dealing With People Demanding Access to Senior People
The major risk of dealing with people like this is the risk of giving away additional value.
Therefore strategies that help you to succeed need to keep this risk at the forefront of mind.
Treating people in ways that makes them feel special costs very little, especially if you are prepared to behave with humility.
Great service businesses differentiate themselves by making customers feel special. I went to a Mexican restaurant last weekend to celebrate a birthday. When dessert arrived for the birthday girl, the restaurant had put a candle in her mango and initiated a round of 'Happy Birthday'
It cost them nothing, but made my friend feel special and increased the chances of a return visit, and the purchase of an extra bottle of wine.
Good business in a tough competitive restaurant market.
If you are not prepared to be humble then you are likely to find yourself in a clash because both of you will be trying to steal status.
Imagine the reaction of customers if when asked, a restaurant refused to add a candle to a dessert because it is 'not the done thing'.
Yes it communicates status in the restaurant, but can so easily make them appear inflexible, arrogant and dismissive.
The key to success with this personality is providing their ego with enough of a feeling of being special, without giving additional value.
Be prepared to find ways that are free, to make them feel special.
In the first story, I am convinced that my customer would still have felt special if the manager had visited the table to say a personal hello, without offering drinks.
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