People Think Differently

I was recently asked the following questions:

What assumptions do you see in the workplace?

What are some underlying biases that you see at play?

I had to think about it

There is something to letting a question percolate

How deeper answers come to us with time

As if we have flicked a switch in our RAS

We now open our subconscious to find the answer

My first thought was that time does not inherently equal experience

The two are often confused

You can have one employee who has been in the same role for 5 years

On paper, it says “5 years of experience”

But when you look deeper, is that really the case?

What was the depth of his or her responsibility?

Can you find an evolution of upward progress?

That person may have 10 years’ worth of actual experience, within a 5-year span

Or was it the same work, done again and again?

Without any initiative, just following the same orders, doing the same thing

You can spend 5 years at a role, and find yourself with 1 year of experience

You really got 1 year of experience, 5 separate times!

As I thought more about the original question, the scope expanded

What are biases or assumptions do we make beyond just the workplace

What are some of our biases or assumptions in life??

Things kept coming back to main point:

We assume everyone thinks the same way we do

We believe that the way we think, is correct

We presume that others are motivated by what motivates us

Can you guess what we I am going here?

You see the world not as it is, but through your Paradigm

You see the world as you are

Yes, there are certain things that are universally motivating

But within this basket, each of us has our own unique scale

One person could be motivated primarily by financial incentive

Let’s call her Sarah

Sarah assumes that others operate the same way

That interpretation affects how she sees the motivations of others

Which in turn affects Sarah’s behavior and interactions with her employees

The relationship is reflexive

Sarah’s behavior and interpretations affect how her employees see, view, and act around her

Sarah has an employee named Tom

Tom has done a great job on recent project Sarah assigned him, going above and beyond

She wants to reward and acknowledge his hard work

But Sarah doesn’t step outside of her own Paradigm

She believes that everyone is primary motivated by financial reward

Here’s the thing

Tom's primary motivation is not money

Sure, it’s important, and it played a part in him taking this job

But it wasn’t the primary driver

Tom is looking to gain management experience more than anything else

He is hoping that Sarah will reward the great work he has done with increased responsibility

So when Sarah asks to speak with him

And lets him know about the financial bonus he will be getting

Without any mention of opportunity for additional responsibility

There is potential for both parties to walk away unsatisfied

Tom wonders if Sarah really sees management potential in him

Another bonus is a nice gesture, but why hasn’t she given him more responsibility?

Why doesn’t she ask him about his goals?

Sarah seems Tom’s reaction and is confused herself

He should be grateful for the money, she went out of her way to reward him

Why isn’t he happy??

He must think the amount is not enough

Well, if he keeps increasing his production, I can raise his next bonus

If it was something outside of money, he would obviously say so

Watching this encounter from the third-person, we almost want to scream:

“Communicate with each other about how you each see the situation!!!”

But often, we expect people to read our minds

We think we can read their minds

And living in two separate paradigms

Miscommunication leads to conflict

Instead of creating alignment, we drift apart

As I write this, there is another thought coming to my head

Communication (or lack thereof) is at the root of almost all relationship frustration

Not just at work, but with a significant other, with family members, with friends

We make the mistake of thinking that others see the world as we see it

That we see the world as it is, rather than as we are

That is and will continue to be what I see as the greatest bias or assumption

Not just in the workplace, but in life

It’s not enough to simply step outside of our own paradigms?

We should be willing to let others know which glasses we have on

To explain how we see the world, what our paradigm looks like

Rather than assume someone else can or should figure it out

We can play a helping role

We can find the courage to course correct assumptions others have taken about our perspective

We can be intentional enough to say how we really feel

To show what we actually see

That’s what “getting on the same page” is all about

Communication

Sharing Perspectives

Stepping into the Paradigm of another

And giving them the hand they need, to step into ours?

People Think Differently

And that isn’t something to correct

It is something to embrace

To value the differences

To appreciate diverse paradigms

To humble ourselves enough, to see the situation differently

That can make all the difference

Thought of the Day: 08–02–2024