People should be safe at our events

I am a woman who went to work in the 80’s. It was a very different time. Sexual harassment in the workplace was common and I guess you could say, I learned to navigate it. To play along nicely. To find ways to protect myself without rocking the boat. Or just endure. Because as a woman, the worst thing you could do would be to ‘kick up a stink’ and ruin a man’s reputation.?

Fast forward to now and at 59, I think that I am now safe and immune from feeling uncomfortable. That the bad behaviour at events is not such a big deal anymore. That the #metoo movement did its best to ensure that men realise that their behaviour needs to be exemplary in the workplace, event and home settings.?

However, it appears that this is not the case.?

And I am sorry to say that I didn’t act as I would’ve expected to when it happened to me.? An arse grab, getting up into my face, arms around me. I push him and move away with a ‘not impressed’ look on my face. I was lucky that a couple of other senior men noticed this behaviour and intervened, moving me away. What I am so cross about is that I played along nicely, actively avoided the situation and did my own thing. I found out later in the night there were other women being made to feel uncomfortable by a few men in the room. The ladies toilets are the place for all the intel on who to avoid and who is good. I have stewed on it as I work out what to do. I need people in my network to support me. If they are people that hold the budget, I can’t be pissing people off by complaining….. ? Ah, the 80’s, you trained me well.? But to be blunt - fuck that!?

Many of you that know me, know that I love a good laugh. I am up for some harmless banter and even a bit of flirting. I love a good hug and my openness is something that I pride myself on.? I have been close to the line on being naughty but am careful to stay respectful.? I am told that because I am a woman, my behaviour is perceived as ‘different’, ‘not threatening’. Maybe also being old enough to be everyone’s mother has something to do with it. However after a few recent events and stories shared with me over the last 2 years, I am reflecting on mine and others behaviour. We should be able to network and have fun without making others feel uncomfortable.?

Our industry is a very unique one. There are many women and many very young women. Many of the teams are female led. The job seems to attract women. There are fabulous vendors and sales people that would be perceived as more senior and the majority of them would be men. I think it would be fair to say, the majority of men at these events are often in leadership positions. Leaders have a duty of care to all employees, but especially those who are younger and more exposed to power imbalances. Those that do not always speak up.?

It seems that the sexual harassment of women at events, the fending off of overtly lewd behaviour has become common. Just recently, after some discussions with many in my network, I became aware that there were a number of women affected by men in leadership positions whose behaviour has been less than exemplary. Arse grabbing is just a part of it. Alcohol and impaired judgement when dealing with the community that supports them has always been part of events for so long. I am no longer going to accept excuses or look the other way. There are some very upset women in our community. As an event leader and as a woman, I am calling time on this. It has to stop.?

A year after the last Talentpalooza, I was devastated to learn that a young woman harassed and left the event distressed. I rang both her and her manager to ask who it was but they were unable to identify the person. Needless to say, that perpetrator would not attend another Talent Table event if I knew who it was. I asked what I could have done better to ensure that this doesn’t happen again. There was another case I was made aware of but am unable to find the details. I have also been researching what I need to do.?

What strikes me as really interesting is that we are in HR. We are in Talent Acquisition. We pride ourselves on our DEI efforts in our organisations. However, we seem to forget it all when there is alcohol involved. I have always thought that we would do better. That we could have fun, let loose and everyone would be OK. Because that is what we do for a living.?

But we can’t. So for Talentpalooza, and for all Talent Table events, I will be providing a code of conduct to event attendees, speakers, sponsors and event staff to set clear expectations for how we will run events and how everyone should behave. You will receive it as part of confirming your tickets. It will be on our website and it will be displayed predominantly at our event. Our team will be easily identifiable for people to ask for assistance or to report bad behaviour. We will have a one strike and you are out policy. You will no longer be welcome at our events.?

This is my draft document. I have been consulting with some experts in this field. I would love to hear what I am missing or what I can improve. It goes further than sexual harassment and sets the tone for full inclusivity and access.? Send me an email to [email protected] or call me on 0474 182 148.

You can check our code of conduct here: https://www.talent-table.com/code-of-conduct

Why follow Talent Table?

Our mission is to have authentic, truth-telling, courageous conversations to become better together. To move the dial on how we deliver Talent to our business.?? We are a safe space where everyone feels respected. We value a network where everyone is welcome to learn, whatever their level in HR/TA.

We hope to see you at an event soon!

Andrea

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