People Pleasing

Have you spent your life bending over backwards to accommodate the needs of others in a quest to be accepted, needed and validated? If so, then you know the pain of feeling not enough, and the accompanying fear that those around you will eventually discover your flaws.

People pleasing is similar to twisting yourself like a human pretzel”. In fact the need to be approved of is so great you experience anxiety whenever family, friends or colleagues are disappointed or unhappy with you.

The fear of being criticised causes you to seek perfection in your daily life. This generates the need to be perfect! It might be getting perfect grades, working more hours than everyone else, having a spotless home or maintaining a flawless appearance.

This pursuit of perfection is exhausting because it is unattainable, and therefore accompanied by self-judgement and comparison. Your emotions become under heightened scrutiny also. Rather than recognising uncomfortable emotions as a normal part of being human, you might question if your emotions and feelings are normal.

As a People Pleaser You Might Also:

? Need to feel in control

? Need predictability

? Have difficulty saying what you think and feel

? Have difficulty saying 'no'

? Lack assertiveness

? Fear rejection

? Fear abandonment

These behaviours can have dire long term consequences – E.g. The loss of your "True Self."

However, all is not lost. Reconnecting with your true self is a wonderful journey of self-discovery...