People Never Forget How You Made them Feel

At 19 years old, I got a job at a large bottle shop in Carindale, on the outer suburbs of my hometown Brisbane, Australia.?

On my first day, the assistant manager of the store gave me an assignment: I had to move every carton of beer from the palette out the back into the cold room.

Once that was done, I would then need to reorder the entire cold room to make sure the products were in the right location, and unpack a carton from every brand to stock the front facing fridges – with the labels out.

“No worries,” I thought to myself, and got to work.

Having dressed for the balmy Queensland sunshine, I was in shorts and a shirt … not ideal garb for the project at hand.

In that cold room, every hour that passed was more difficult to bear. The room was freezing, and my hands quickly became numb.

What felt like eternity later, the door opened and the assistant manager walked in.

“All done, James?” he inquired.

“Yep, all done,” I replied.

“Want a coffee?” he offered.

“Yes please,” grateful for the generous act.

“Good. I’ll have mine white with one sugar,” he said, strolling braggadociously out of the cold room.

His gesture of kindness was a ruse – he was just looking for someone to bully and control.

My first reaction contained a few expletives, one in particular that started with “fuck” and ended with “wit”, muttered under my breath for job security.

My second reaction was to question how stupid someone must be for attempting to bully another individual who they want a drink from, knowing how a vindictive person might use said item to settle the score. (It's why it always struck me as odd that people treat restaurant staff so poorly.)

As you can expect, I realized quickly that the assistant manager's remark was true to his character. That controlling behavior came across in almost everything else he did — as if he'd earned the right to treat people that way and was attempting to boost his self-esteem in the process.

Instinctively, I knew he was someone I wanted nothing to do with. However, that can be hard when you are dependent on the wages.

I’ve had some great bosses, leaders, and managers over the years – some of them are probably reading this. Their acts of goodwill, and genuine interest in both my friendship and development, are something I will remember forever.

They modeled the behavior of how to treat people. As a result, they have earned the loyalty of hundreds of others, risen quickly in their careers, and live a happy life. If they ever needed me for anything, the answer would be 'yes' before the request was even delivered.

When you have an opportunity to demonstrate how much you value and appreciate someone, take it. What you build in goodwill – plus activating your own gratitude circuitry, which stimulates more positive thoughts – will considerably outweigh the interruption it gives your day.

It’s why I’m so passionate about sending daily audio messages to people who have helped me in one way or another.

Whether you’re commanding a business or a home, lead with love. People feel it – and remember it – far more than they consciously acknowledge it at the time.

And if you ever find yourself working in a bottle shop, bring a sweater…

Onward and upward always,

James Whittaker

#WinTheDay

PS - Drop a comment below to let me know your thoughts.