People are more than job titles

Everyone wants to know what you do for a living. Whether you’re at a conference, in a meeting, on a date, meeting ‘the parents’, completing an insurance form or visiting a new doctor, ‘What do you do?’ will be asked. It’s an appropriate, innocent (or is it?) question, but what we do will never be more important than who we are.

I am not my job title. I am – two of the most powerful words, because what you put after them shapes your reality. Susan David, psychologist, TED speaker and author says you’re more than your job, and “one simple thing you can do to help separate your role from your identity is to say, I work as a ___________, instead of I am a ___________.” It’s important and healthy to have a strong understanding of who you are. No one is just a doctor, teacher, actress, or waiter.

“Identity helps us feel grounded and make sense of our lives. But adhering too closely to one aspect of your identity can limit your growth,” says David. Work contributes to our sense of purpose and having pride in our work and finding meaning and identity in it can be very satisfying, but our work should enhance our lives, not define it. Harvard Business School senior lecturer Christina Wallace warns against it: “When your identity is your job, it’s going to be harder for you to see your options. You won’t have as much flexibility to go in a different direction and reposition your skills.” This is important for managers too, she says. “If you recognise that individuals are greater than the sum of their previous experiences, then you can think more broadly about competencies, rather than just credentials.”

Doctor Carol Parker Walsh, founder and owner of Carol Parker Walsh Consulting says, “When your identity is dependent on a job or job title, you've conditioned your subconscious mind to base your self-worth and self-esteem on your employment situation.” We must break free from how we define success in our society, she says. “We can do this by changing our perceptions (beliefs and dialogue) and basing our sense of worth on internally constructed values and not ones that are externally dictated.”

“While we seek meaning and purpose in our work, let’s also remember that we’re more than our work and our résumés.” – Arianna Huffington,?Founder and CEO at Thrive Global

Unfortunately, people are quick to judge and job titles is one of the quickest ways we judge and make assumptions, even subconsciously. One piece of information about someone can make us assume a number of things: their intelligence and education, competence, ability to lead and manage, financial status, importance in society, how much we should respect them, how well they communicate, how creative they are… Joseph Liu, speaker, career consultant and host of the Career Relaunch? podcast writes for Forbes that sometimes when talking about what you do, people will display disinterest, and/or they’ll be confused, which can take a toll on someone’s confidence. “When people define you solely on your job title, they may have a limited understanding of your professional identity and what you actually do, not to mention who you are.”?

A job title is not always a true testament of someone’s abilities, skills, strengths, experience, or personality. Being a boss doesn’t necessarily mean someone is a good leader, not all people in managerial roles are great managers, someone can be a CEO, a famous writer, or a world-class surgeon and be a terrible human being – job titles are not the best way to judge people. For a long time, I dreaded the ‘What do you do?’ question. I didn’t define myself by my job title, but other people did; pushing me into a little box that I couldn’t breathe in. I was stuck with an unwanted, inaccurate professional identity because people based who I was on my job title. Their assumptions made me feel restricted, degraded, and reduced to a single title. Not everyone is happy with their 9 to 5 or doing what they really want to – an accountant can be a brilliant painter, an insurance broker a published poet, and the woman sitting in her office alone all day, a comedian with excellent people skills. Knowing one thing (a job title) about someone doesn’t mean you know them. Remember that next time you’re tempted to judge after asking, ‘So, what do you do?’

Doctor Walsh says, when she was no longer a lawyer, it became clear to her that people get an impression about who you are when you tell them what you do. “When I decided to work in the direct sales industry and started telling people that I was?an independent representative for a retail jewellery company, the shock and horror (as well as disappointment and judgement) on people's faces was palpable. I hated being a lawyer. I felt relief when I was able to walk away and explore other interests. And while there was a part of me that wanted to hold on to that particular job identity for prideful reasons, I had to let go of the title's hold on me to find and live my purpose.” The ‘What do you do?’ question is easy to answer when you have a well-respected job title, when you have an exciting job or when you enjoy what you do. Liu writes, when he was in between jobs or in a career transition he “was at a loss for a socially acceptable answer.” He grew to dislike answering the question, “each time I answered, I felt like I was being judged on how important, rich, or successful I was. I felt this need to give an impressive answer to project myself as someone worthy.”?

Adam Grant, organisational psychologist and best-selling author says, “Asking ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ sends the wrong message about work. We should teach kids that who you are is more than what job you do. Work is an activity – it doesn’t have to define your identity. A healthy sense of self is rooted in character, not career choice.”

“Work is a slice of your life. It’s not the entire pizza.” – Jacquelyn Mitchard

When you only respond with your job title when people ask you what you do, others will define you accordingly, and you may also define yourself in a similarly limited way, writes Liu. He suggests sharing something else about who you are and what you care about that goes beyond your job title when someone asks you what you do. “Doing this reinforce more dimensions of your work and identity so others can have a more complete picture of who you are and what you stand for.” You can also ask ‘Who are you?’ instead of ‘What do you do?’, because we’re all people with a story, relationships, interests, experiences, passions, talents, and skills that make us unique.

What do I do for a living? I read. I write. I create. I learn. I laugh. I love. I define myself.

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