People are More Difficult Than Algorithms

People are More Difficult Than Algorithms?

I feel for geniuses.?

They were probably doing math at a university level while they were still in grade school—maybe even asked to tutor their classmates. They mastered science concepts long before their peers. Their parent’s approval was tied to their amazing abilities—so they were beloved by the adults in their life. If they were lucky, they went to a “gifted” high school and onwards to schools like MIT, Caltech, and Stanford. Those who navigated University often went on to post-doctoral work or they ended up starting their own companies or working for Big-Tech.?

Sounds perfect right?

My genius clients report something different:

1. They feel misunderstood and honestly don’t know how to help people see their good intentions. Sometimes they have enemies without even knowing how they created them.

2. They feel awkward in dealings with people (don’t we all) but up until now, they only had to be smart—not good at building relationships.?

3. They’ve been promoted to leadership positions or they founded a company with their ideas. In either case, they have the title of “leader” and are wondering how to really influence their teams, peers, and managers.?

I have this client—definitely a genius—at a big tech company who is a star when it comes to solving technical problems but he keeps on getting dinged for how he is with people. He just found out that some of his peers “hate” him. I feel for him. It has him contemplating leaving and starting over.

Being a genius doesn’t help you solve conflicts with humans.?

One of my super-smart friends, Jason de Villiers , put it this way earlier this week in the context of computer software programming:

“In computing, the paradigm to encode an idea is known: There is a programming language with fixed syntax, a compiler and even a debugger can help when you get in trouble. There is no connotation to code, and the compiler does not try to read between the lines.? Conversely, when communicating an idea with one or more people there is seldom a fixed universal lexicon, and there is no compiler to help unravel intent, execution and perception when communicating goes awry. Each person filters the message through their accumulated experiences and scars and hears something different. It takes time and trust to be able to detect and debug human-to-human communication errors."

Time and trust.?

It’s clear. Our ways of being with others took time and years of conditioning to be created and if we want to shift how we are, we need to use time to create new conditioning. It’s just like building a muscle—reading about how to get strong will make ZERO difference. You need to pick up the weight and lift it day in and day out. Same with communication, influence, confidence, and trust.?

You don’t have to be a genius to experience the same things. If you resonate with any of it—try on some conditioning.?

1. Practice the art of listening. That’s it. Just listen.

2. Try compassion, humility, and empathy. Once a day, instead of solving the problem you “know” the answer to—sit back and respond with some feeling words like—"huh… that’s a tough one” or “I can see how that could be difficult.”

3. Once a week, share a vulnerable story about yourself. Really.?

Godspeed

#compassion #empathy #genius