PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES

Yesterday I told you how, in an unfavourable situation, I noticed the mind was very quick to absolve itself of responsibility, when it was actually something I’d done!

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Today, being Sunday, let’s throw everything we think we know out the window and have a look at what’s going on at the level of principle, whenever we catch ourselves moaning about something (or someone).

Because, not to put too fine a point on it, whenever we’re bothered by something (or someone), that’s our own internal mess being reflected outwards. It’s our conditioning being made manifest.

Life’s energy — situations, happenings — flows through us, and it either does so freely, or (more often, because we’re human) it bumps up against our frailties, insecurities and fears.

You think the mind’s just going to take that on the chin?! Ha, no, of course not! It’s going to do whatever it can to try and protect itself.

So it’ll look at the situation, at the behaviour of another and say, “I’m better. I wouldn’t do that. Why are they doing that?”

(Just like me, yesterday, with the sticky table: “Bloody hell, why can’t the child eat less messily, or clear up after herself?!”)

Ego gets its little boost of superiority, which acts as a brief salve to the situation. The mind feels better. (Temporarily.)

What’s more, because of confirmation bias (i.e. the mind always looking for evidence to prove itself right), the resentment we feel in that moment will quickly grow, as the mind comes up with other things this person does, that piss us off!

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But it’s made up. It’s not actual reality. It’s a story that’s being put together from our own conditioning (if it wasn’t, the situation/behaviour wouldn’t bother us; life energy would just flow through, unimpeded).

And it’s poison.

It creates division. It breeds resentment. It wrecks relationships. It starts wars.

All from an innocent misunderstanding about what’s true and what’s not.

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But there’s a way to express this poison, so it loses its potency.

And that’s to see what’s going on, when it happens.

To get brutally honest and ask yourself, “Hang on, is this my mess?”

To take a moment to explore, with gentle curiosity, what it is about our own conditioning, that this is pointing to? What is it we do, that we’re seeing here, in another’s behaviour.

Clare Dimond calls it “Equivalents” – I call it owning your ?? shit.

For instance:

• That person was mean… Well, have you ever been mean?
• They let me down… And have you ever let someone down?
• Why won’t they listen? … Do you ever not listen, with full presence, yourself?
• OMG you’re so messy! … Are there areas of your life where you’re messy?
• Why are they so hurtful? … Do you ever hurt other people?
• That bastard cut me up! … Have you ever driven without consideration?
• Why are they killing people? … Have you ever killed another being, you saw as lesser? ??
• That person’s a bigot! … Do you ever experience intolerance for others? (e.g. right now ??)

I’m not saying we need to go round wearing sack cloth and self-flagellating. (That’s no better, really – the mind will weaponise itself against itself, given half the chance.)

No, when we do this (and I really recommend you try it), all the poison just ebbs away. It’s empowering. We get to bring some of our conditioning out into the light, let it wither in the sun, and we grow, as a result.

At the same time, any resentment we feel is replaced by empathy for another. It fosters loving, compassionate relationships, even where it has felt that that’s not been on the cards before.

We don’t have to condone the behaviour or let it go without consequence, but we can understand what’s going on – that they’re bumping up against their conditioning; we’re bumping up against ours, and all of it’s made of nothing more solid than stale thought.

Total psychological innocence.

We then act from that place of love and understanding, instead of from judgement.

And the world changes, around us.

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It’s Sunday, so why not reflect for a moment on the old Sunday school trope: “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”

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And the modern day, secular equivalent: “People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”

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We all live in glass houses. They’re called our Thought System ??

Remember this, next time you become aware of the mind going to war.

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Giles

p.s. Disagree vehemently? Hit reply and let me know how. I’m always learning, always making mistakes and am quite open to being told I’m wrong!