[People] From Penang with Love: Practice Tolerance and Be Proud.

Greetings all!

Today I’m going to share the story of my dear cousin, Irma. Her father is my late mother’s elder brother. This probably seems nothing, but, the most memorable memory I had with her was when she slept over at my place back when my family first moved to Johor Bahru, in 2002. The conversations we had felt more intimate, as that was also the first time I had my own bedroom. The first time I learnt that she is 5 years older than I am. I clearly remember all my maternal girl cousins were big fans of Backstreet Boys, we were influenced by Kak Nat and Kak Shima a lot! So, we actually spent the night discussing about the boys, haha. It was memorable probably because it was the first time I had a “girls only” sleepover ever! Because, even though I visited my grandmothers’ homes quite frequently growing up, and did sleepovers with my cousins there, most of them of my age were boys and we played games outdoors a lot. I love those days as well, but I’ve never actually had any girls' night up till then. So, that is why, the night Kak Irma came all over from Pulau Pinang(Penang) and slept over at my place is memorable.

Irma was born in Kuala Lumpur, raised in Penang, and then moved to Kuala Lumpur(KL) for tertiary education and work. Now, after 16 years in KL, she is back in Penang.

There are four members in her family unit. Her father is Malay, originally from Johor, and her mother is a local Siam mualaf(Muslim Revert) from Penang. She has one younger brother and she is the eldest. Her parents were national athletes. They met during the SEA Games back in 1973. Her father was a High Jump athlete and her mother was a track athlete: sprinter as well as a hurdler.

At home, although she’s fluent in Malay, regardless of Johor or Penang dialects, the family mainly used English, as her mother’s vocabulary in Malay was not as strong as in English. It was also due to the fact that the Malay dialects spoken by northern and southern Malaysia are different made her parents choose English in most family conversations. She used to learn?Padsa Thai(Thai Language) when she was a young girl. But, the lack of practice leads her to lose that language skill. Yet, she is still able to understand whenever her Thai relatives speak during gatherings.

As a kid, we rarely define or categorise ourselves by race and whatnot.

We thought we were supposed to be just like everyone else. We want to fit in and feel belong. When we were not, then we began to question our identity. Irma said,

“When I was younger, I didn’t feel like I was a local. I was confused. Am I really a Malay? Or who am I really? I was raised in a Muslim household, yet, when I visit my maternal grandparents' home, there are other gods, why? Why there were differences in the way they worship God(comparing relatives from both parents)?”

She further added,

“So, when we first moved back to Penang and frequently visited my mother’s kampung, I felt awkward chatting with my relatives and cousins due to language barriers. My mother tongue is Malay-English, and theirs is Thai-Hokkien. Since I do not practice my Thai at home, it was difficult for me to mingle and joke around. I was unable to carry on conversations freely. I used to question myself,?“Why am I even here? I am nothing like my cousins.”?But, as time passed by, I understood situations better and accepted myself as it is. Thanks to my dear mother who patiently reminds me to accept myself and address my confusions, especially things involving religions and culture.”

Most probably inherited from her father’s Dutch ancestry, Irma and her brother have bigger frames than average Malaysians. As an adult, they are both over 180cm. In addition to that, her looks are not exactly like a Malay or Chinese either. Let’s just say that, she looks Thai but her build is like a European. So, growing up, among her peers, not many opened their hands and invited her to play together. She was very thankful for a few friends who accepted her as she was back then. Oftentimes, it was because she was taller and bigger than others. They appeared to be intimidated by her. Even outside of school, strangers thought she was at least 15 years old when at that time she was only about 11 or 12 years old. It was a bit disheartening to be misunderstood often because her heart and mind were still like other children her age. Also due to her background, her views on things were not aligned much with others, thus, sometimes, she felt misfitted. She also shared,

“As I reach adulthood, I am proud of my identity as a Muslim Malay. Yet, especially whenever I go to new places, people tend to treat me differently. They often assumed I was a foreigner. Only after I started to put on my hijab, that I feel a warm welcome from the Muslim community.”

In her honest view, growing up in a mixed background was not much different culture-wise, Thai and Malay are very similar. From how we behave, the way we eat, cooking styles and others.?The best thing about being a mixed race would be food, language and lifestyle. Food, Irma gets to enjoy Chinese, Malay and Thai mouth-watering cuisines in the comfort of her home. ?Her favourite dishes are anything?Masak Lemak Cili Padi(Spicy turmeric coconut milk curry) and her mom’s homemade?Thai Laksa(a delicious spicy coconut broth served with noodles, a protein and a handful of other fresh, crunchy toppings), chef’s kiss! There were no clashes in upbringing values from her parents. Irma said,?

“My mother is a mualaf, and since my father also was not a pure Malay, he was not so strict about the traditional Malay culture either. Still, our household is a practising Muslim Family. So, I would say, I might experience differences whenever I visit Kampung Siam. My mother’s family is actually a religious practising Thai Buddhist. Her late father was a?Menora?performer. So, often, there are so many ceremonies happening. I used to sit next to the stage and watch. That is why I feel that when you’re already exposed to this tolerance from a young age, your mindset will be different from those raised in a single-race household. You will be more understanding and we are all at its core, Malaysians.?Takde beza sangat lah!?(not much different indeed!)”

She gets to celebrate many festivals and observes people of different races effortlessly. She was exposed to language practices firsthand without attending classes. It was all up to her how she was able to absorb and manoeuvre all the good things. That is why she regretted not embracing her Siamese heritage properly and practising the language regularly. Her mother rarely uses Thai at home. She said,?“Tu lah, bila balik kampung dengar uncle semua cakap, kita paham. Tapi keras lidah ni nak cakap.”?(Hmm… I understood everything my uncles chatted away back in our village, but it was difficult for my tongue to articulate any responses in Thai) Her maternal grandparents do not speak English and are more comfortable using the local Malay dialect. Thus, that is the language she used when conversing with them. Her late grandfather, Wandee Aroonratana, better known as Noo Wan, was probably the last?Menora?performer in Penang Island. Marking George Town’s 13th Anniversary as a UNESCO World Heritage Site, he was awarded with Lifetime Achievement Award as one of the “Tokoh Warisan Pulau Pinang” for his dedication to Knowledge Transmission back in 2021. He was one of the backbones that actively conserve, preserve and promote the Siamese heritage locally. Indeed, being a public figure, he is fluent in Malay and Thai languages.

Except for her late maternal grandfather who had only Thai blood, her parents and grandparents were of mixed ethnicities. That is why she sees herself as the embodiment of the 1Malaysia concept. Regardless what is her stated race in NRIC, she proudly identifies herself as a Malaysian. In her words,?

“Honestly, we Malaysians are so unique. We live together in a multiracial AND multi-religious society. We have the privilege to easily learn about another race, another culture, literally every other minute. Unlike people from mono-race countries, Malaysians are relatively able to adapt to other cultures more easily. We are “trained” since young of the importance of tolerance and understanding different cultures and their lifestyles.”

We often hear that people with mixed backgrounds are less impacted by culture shocks and have better tolerance in facing situations.

In Irma’s opinion, it must be due to the constant exposure to cultural differences closely, since birth. So, whenever we face a new lifestyle of surrounding, our first response will always be to observe and respect. We may be surprised but we rarely judge or feel weird by anything that is out of our comfort zones and existing knowledge. We learn to accept and understand that people can have different ways of approaching matters and values in life. Nurturing tolerance in the community will create a beautiful harmonised living.

“That is why, when you asked me what was the major differences in our ways of living, honestly, I couldn’t think of any on the spot. But, as I paused, yes, the biggest differences are the way we worship and practice our beliefs. As an adult, mixing around be it with my mother’s side or my father’s side, feels natural, no awkwardness at all.”

The differences were only significant when she visited her non-Muslim family members. She clarifies that due to different belief systems, shifting mentality is inevitable. Of course, in her father’s side homes, not much changes since everyone is Muslim and speaks fluent Malay and English. However, when visiting her mother’s side homes, especially when chatting with the elders, she would need to mix languages with her broken Thai, like “I want to Apna.” Apna means “to shower or to bath” in Penang's Siam dialect. And use simple words or short sentences when chatting. Because she learnt from experience, whenever she was excitedly explaining things back then, in the end, her stories were not properly conveyed. Especially jokes. In gist, whenever visiting her mother’s side, she will be more conscious of her choice of words.

When it comes to food spread during family gatherings, if there happens to be non-halal food presence, her mother’s family will notify them whenever they come over. She appreciates this about her mother’s family.?She said,

“Because, as a growing Muslim child and still learning, we may not be sure of what we can and cannot consume. So they are always there to advise me. If events were going on at Kampung Siam, they would inform me whether I could participate or not. If it was a religious thing, they would make sure to ask me to step aside and watch only. To observe and understand their culture and conduct. I love my family. All these enriched my views in life.”

Reminiscing her good memories in Kampung Siam, Pulau Tikus,?Penang.

“Perhaps, it is the last Kampung Siam in Penang, God knows until when it will last. My mother’s?kampung?used to be the main place in Malaysia for Thai Buddhists to come and study the religion, especially to be Monks. Like a Madrasah. As far as I remember, on most days, the vicinity is very quiet, and serene. Basically, we can say that the whole?kampung?is a Thai Buddhist Centre. There are worship places, graveyards, cremation places and a few?Wats.?There are non-Thai Buddhist temples nearby, too. But, you can differentiate them by the colour of their gates. The gate Thai Buddhist Temple or?Wat, will always be blue. So, the little me with my brothers and cousins all, used to play everywhere within the compound of?Wat Chaiya Mangalaram. Although I don’t speak Thai, no one actually realised that I am Malay. No one cared, I was treated like any other Thai kid in the village. It was fun and free, haha, good days.”

Due to the large Siam community there, whenever there are holy ceremonies or Thai celebrations like Songkran, it is a huge event! It seems like we were in Thailand itself. She commented, “So yeah when it comes to religious celebration, it was really a different atmosphere. Otherwise, mannerisms, food, as long as halal, we are all the same.”

Irma encourages fellow Malaysians to venture out and try to mingle with others outside of our racial circles as well. Especially, those in the suburbs, please do not be dictated by ideas that divide our beloved racial harmony. Take part in community events. At least, enough for us to respectfully understand others' way of living and perspective of life. From her own experience, once upon a time, she had a friend who hailed from a rural place and used to hang out only with her “own kind”. When her friend first moved to Singapore, the friend experienced major culture shock and developed anxiety issues. It took the friend a long time to adapt to the changes.

Therefore, being Malaysians, we must not be one-track-minded. Seize the opportunity, to explore the country and our rich culture. InshaAllah, if we can adapt to every state in Malaysia, we can make ourselves at home anywhere in this world!

Photos not tagged are taken from: Thai Laksa, Ayam Masak Lemak Cili Padi