People don't see the world with their eyes...

I've had a few weeks of coaching sessions with fascinating leaders, and this thought by David Brooks (author of 'How to Know a Person ') has been on my mind:

"People don't see the world with their eyes; they see it with their entire life."

In my work of prioritising inclusive leaders who are empathetic to seeing perspectives outside their own, this truth keeps playing in my head.

I won't attempt paraphrasing David Brooks, but will share with you a few excerpts from his book here:

"A person is a point of view. Every person you meet is a creative artist who takes the events of life, and over time, creates a very personal way of seeing the world. Like any artist, each person takes the experiences of a lifetime and integrates them into a complex representation of the world. That representation, the subjective consciousness that makes you you, integrates your memories, attitudes, beliefs, convictions, traumas, loves, fears, desires and goals into your own distinct way of seeing."

"Your mind creates a world, with beauty and ugliness, excitement, tedium, friends, and enemies, and you live within that construction. People don't see the world with their eyes. They see it with their entire life."

Based on the idea coined by cognitive scientists of 'constructionism' - each person actively constructs their own perception of reality.

Thus, as we try to understand others, we want to be constantly asking ourselves: How are they perceiving this situation? How are they constructing their reality?

This is one of the rewarding elements of coaching work. To really 'see' a person and be fascinated by how they make meaning.

To understand a person's perception - as the neuroscientist Anil Seth writes, is a "generative, creative act."

David Brooks talks about receiving people as 'active creators'. To learn how the enduring energies of old memories and experiences shape how you see the world today.

And what a gift it is to be a 'thinking partner' to others, to enter into their experiences, to honour that there are 8 billion people in this world and each mind is shaped by our uniquely individual upbringing, memories, traumas and passions.

I'm endlessly intrigued to witness how each person is always 'relentlessly remaking itself'. That the models in our mind can re-form. That by becoming more aware of the models we use to construct reality, we start to understand ourselves better.

As Simon Western in his book 'Coaching and Mentoring: a Critical Text ' outlines: "Speaking in a coaching session is to speak oneself into existence. The speaker is also the listener. The coachee often doesn't know what is going to be said until it is spoken, and can be surprised by the content as if listening to another person speak. The transformation happens when thoughts are materialised into sounds and words... In this way, the person materialises themselves; and they discover and produce themselves through this 'speech act.' "

I'm always struck by the possibility that by giving ourself to honest and illuminating conversations, to have the thinking space to 'speak ourselves into existence' - we might refine our own consciousness, rearrange our mental models - and eventually see the world with more humanity, grace and understanding.

International Women's Day - 'Inspire inclusion' ?

I discovered a few weeks ago that 'International Women's Day' has different themes - one for the 'corporate set' and another by the United Nations.

This year, the theme for organisations is ‘Inspire inclusion’.? Women are invited to 'strike a pose' creating a heart shape with your fingers. You can “strike the #InspireInclusion pose to show solidarity” because “When we truly value difference, it comes from the heart.”

The call to action is about "inspiring others to value the inclusion of women."

What does this even mean? What actions will corporations take as a result of this 'theme'?

It is vague, saccharine, and so inoffensive that the bar is low for participation.? You can see it being celebrated on 8th March across offices alongside the pink cupcakes. It is?‘feminism lite’ at its best - pink washing and box ticking.??

I have also learned that the lead website (always at the top of the search) www.internationalwomensday.com is owned by an organisation called Aurora Ventures. They outline on their website: "We create opportunities and resources for companies worldwide to forge women's equality - from campaigns and collaborations, to platforms and products. We support the supporters."

When you peruse the IWD website, you will find a list of corporate sponsors.

One might call this a classic case of 'corporate hijack' and the 'corporatisation' of a pressing social justice issue around gender equality.

Some have called it 'weapons of mass distraction'.

There was a time when I was oblivious to this - but now it makes me rage.

(I am also in the midst of my own remaking).

Meanwhile the UN theme is ‘Invest in women: a human rights issue.’?

The five key areas needing joint action as highlighted by the United Nations are :

• Investing in women, a human rights issue: Time is running out. Gender equality is the greatest human rights challenge, benefiting everyone.
• Ending poverty: Due to the COVID pandemic and conflicts, 75 million more people have fallen into severe poverty since 2020. Immediate action is crucial to prevent over 342 million women and girls living in poverty by 2030.
• Implementing gender-responsive financing: Conflicts and rising prices may lead 75% of countries to cut public spending by 2025, negatively impacting women and their essential services.
• Shifting to a green economy and care society: The current economic system disproportionately affects women. Advocates propose a shift to a green economy and care society to amplify women's voices.
• Supporting feminist change-makers: Despite leading efforts, feminist organizations receive only 0.13% of official development assistance.

Is it not a better practise? for organisations to try to understand how they can make an impact against these 5 key areas? Both within their organisations and also across broader society?

Why do we need a corporate-friendly theme that is palatable to the privileged corporate set?? One that doesn’t benefit all women- just the ones working jobs in established economies?

As highlighted in this article:

"Catchy themes like Inspire Inclusion are a concern not just because they overshadow the real issues that need addressing around IWD, but also because we are at a real risk of running out of diversity-related words to put a verb in front of. Especially when the World Economic Forum says the world has 152 years to wait for gender equality."?

Pondering this prompted me to apply to join UN Women UK as a delegate at this year's Commission on the Status of Women.

In my application, I talked about my desire for corporations to tear down the false separation between the corporate world and broader society, with real social justice issues that impact all women and girls around the world.That 'gender equality' shouldn't have a 'corporatised-feminism lite' theme for International Women's Day and a separate 'human rights' focused one in the UN.

How do we see ourselves as part of one whole - working collectively towards addressing these common goals?

The two key themes for discussion this year will be:

1) ?? Accelerating the achievement of gender equality and the empowerment of all women and girls by addressing poverty and strengthening institutions and financing with a gender perspective.

2) ?? Social protection systems, access to public services and sustainable infrastructure for gender equality and the empowerment of women and girls.

I'm looking forward to contributing and learning from others in the sessions.

The Power of Art

I will leave you with my Friday excitement about watching Dune 2 today.

I. CANNOT. WAIT.

Funny story. Watching Denis Villeneuve's remaking of Dune 1 two years ago prompted me to leave my corporate life.

I walked out of the cinema in a stunned haze. The overriding thought was "what am I doing with my life?"

Everything about that movie moved me in a way that defied explanation. (I'm not even a sci-fi fan, nor had I watched the original version).

The power of art to transcend eh?

We are creative beings. Life is a curious thing.

Happy Friday folks.

And in wrapping up with the theme of today, love this quote by Anais Nin:

"We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are."

Hi, I'm the founder CEO of Crew & Riot.?

My mission is to help leaders build inclusive brands and cultures.

Here's how I can help you:

-Building Brand strategies for business AND social impact

-Innovations with inclusive design principles at its heart.

-Team cultures and leaders who embrace diversity & belonging

-Leadership Coaching (for leaders who want to lead for positive impact.)

If any of this interests you, please drop me a message on Linkedin and we can arrange a no obligation discovery call.