PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY TELL THEMSELVES.

It's the weekend, and a day off has come early, thanks to our Muslim brothers and sisters. As we unwind and take some time, I'd like to pose a big question: Do you know people do what they tell themselves to do? Yep! That is right. Indeed, we can influence people to do things differently; however, ultimately, people will do what they tell themselves to do. When someone says, “She made me do it” or “It's his fault that I didn't get the task completed; he told me not to touch it yet,” they essentially say what they told themselves, not really what someone said else did.

Of course, external factors can influence what people tell themselves, and in this article, I'd like to break it down for you. To make my point more precise, let me give you three scenarios:

Scenario One: Imagine someone pointing a gun at you straight in the middle of your head. He screams, “I will shoot you if you don't give me your money.” Pause for a moment and reflect. Your first instinct would be to quickly give him the money so he doesn't shoot you. You did so because there is an external force, and then there is you who told yourself, “I had better give this crazy man this money, or he would shoot me,” and then you gave him the money. However, as crazy as it sounds, you know that there were different options you could have made. You could have said, “Well, he is bluffing,” just like James Bond is calm in the face of danger. This means that regardless of the gun pointing at you, you have told yourself that he is bluffing, and your following action would reflect that.

Scenario Two: You walk in by 4 pm on a Wednesday, drop an extensive file on your secretary’s table, and say, “Organize this before 8 am on Friday”. You know it is something that would take more time to complete. Pause. Reflect. Do you think the secretary would do it because she loves to? I do not think so. I think she would do it simply because you wield some authority, and maybe the secretary knows that her salary comes from this same stress and she has to. Have you influenced her decision to do the work? Yes. However, was it in the right way? Well, what do you think?

Scenario Three: It's the D-day following Monday, and on Friday, the project manager, who is your colleague and you work with him on the project, comes to ask questions about how the procession of participants should go, and you say, “It's Friday, just do this thing, I trust you to do it well.” Pause. Reflect. What effect do you think he would tell himself? He would most likely conclude that you do not care about the project, of which you do trust him to do well; however, I think you just might have indirectly told him that he should not have trusted you enough to come to meet you. This way, you have influenced what he now believes in and what he must have told himself.

So why do you need to know this? Leadership is not about being in a position of authority. It is a way of life. As leaders, we are responsible for influencing others correctly, which requires us to live up to their expectations and communicate clearly when we cannot. By doing so, we ensure that people refrain from making assumptions and instead understand the reasoning behind their work and believe in it. For example, if you need to delegate work to your secretary, don't just drop it on their desk and expect it to be done on time. Instead, could you take the time to explain why it is essential, how it contributes to the team's goals, and how it affects them in some way? Doing so creates a shared understanding and a sense of purpose beyond just a job description.

Effective leadership is not a one-time behavior. It is an ongoing building of honest and genuine relationships. It involves showing care and concern for others and making them feel valued and respected. When people trust you and understand why their work matters, they will be more motivated to do their best and work towards shared goals.

So, if you want to develop the right leadership abilities and make people do things simply because they trust you and understand why the work needs to be done, start by building solid relationships based on honesty and genuine care. This will help you inspire others to do their best and succeed personally and as a team. They would also tell themselves why work should be done well, and most times, it will not be because of you or your influence but because they believe in it.?

Enjoy your holiday, and let's meet again soon to continue exploring the world of leadership.