Penny Power ponders the Power of Acceptance and how to get there

I have just come back from a spiritual retreat, a very special experience for Thomas and I, a gift from someone who felt we would benefit from shutting down, and we did.

Two weeks on the sea floating around (in a boat!), being looked after and deeply cared for. Having reached our last year of our 50s, we realised that this was the first time ever that we had rested so much. Certainly, over the past 25 years, we have never gone a day without checking our emails and keeping in touch with clients.

I have never hidden the fact that our life has had some serious bumps and bruises, (as well as the amazing joys we have had). I never share to gain sympathy, in fact sympathy is a very low energy form of communication. I share for one clear reason, to ensure that no one else feels alone in their roller coaster of life. Being open and real has always been my choice, but I feel it has become more and more essential over the past 15 years since social media has devoured many. Many people cannot help but compare and feel like they are the only person struggling financially, having painful relationships, feeling lonely, or mental health pain such as anxiety or overwhelm.

The reality is that we would not be experiencing a human existence if we did not have some major challenges in life. The sad thing is, we don’t always surround ourselves with people that are open and show their true experiences.

I called this Ponder ‘The Power of Acceptance' because that is the greatest release of all, “when we can accept”. Somehow, we stop worrying about our pain and we find a brighter way to be.

I was once asked "Penny, what are you resisting, in order to accept what has been?". For me that was a very deep question and was the start of letting go of hurt, frustrations, disappointment, and grief.

In my sessions with a Psychologist in 2018, she shared a powerful aspect about how our brains work under stress, how we store the memory.

When we find it hard to accept what has happened to us, we hold things in our short-term memory, and that instant memory defines our present existence. To help me with a number of these stories I was holding onto, she encouraged me to go back to several really painful moments in my life that I had not really dealt with.

In my past I had a warped belief around what resilience was. I believed that not allowing myself to feel pain and spending time with it, meant that I was overcoming it, beating it. How wrong I was.

To accept things from my past that were holding me back from my best life meant I had to really go to the point of the pain again and, like a child, cry it out, really feel it. It was like a child having a tantrum, not getting what they want, they eventually reach a peak point and they calm down. It was not easy.

The remarkable aspect of this is that a switch happens in our brains, and we ‘accept’. Our brains seem to literally move the memory to the long-term part of our brain, honouring the memory, but not feeling it any more, or being defined by it.

It is very powerful. Now I immerse myself in the disappointments or sadness when they come around. I allow the pain to cut through me, and my recovery is fast.

So what was I resisting before? In 2018 I knew I needed to let go and move forwards with joy. I had been resisting the pain, resisting the change, the Plan B in life. The challenge that forced me in a new direction. I accepted back in 2018, that the vision I had of my professional life for a number of years was no longer relevant, I accepted the loss of people in my life that I was no longer able to see in this life, I accepted challenges that I had watched my children face. I accepted all the things that were out of my control. I chose to let go, to stop resisting and to live a life without being defined by those things that felt unfair.

It is really surprising how many past pains we hold onto that stop new energy and joys, I wasn’t even aware that I was doing this.

So here we are, a New Year emerging, I wonder what you can let go of, what you can accept and what new energy you can bring into your life for 2024? Think about the words “what are you resisting?" Perhaps there is a better life for you, once you let go too.

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