Penetrating the Camouflage of Diversity

Late in his life, when I would visit my Dad in his assisted living facility, he would lecture me about how interesting many of the people who lived were. He told me not to let their looks deceive me. Many of his fellow octogenarians had exceptional stories. One was a veteran of WWII who stormed the beach at Normandy and hid in a covered bunker as enemy troops marched over him, he told me. Another was an attorney who represented Meyer Lansky the notorious mobster. There were many more. He reveled in what he learned in his conversations with his new friends. He spent much of his time volunteering to interview new arrivals so that he could be the first to learn about their rich experiences that he would share in his community newsletter.

My Dad was right about my perception. All I had seen when I visited him were nameless “old” people living out their lives in what appeared to be obscurity. I was embarrassed to admit that I never even thought about how unique and exceptional each one’s life might have been and how much I could learn if I were just curious. 

It happens to all of us. We discount the value of people who are different than us, whether it’s their gender, race, political affiliation, nationality or even age. We don’t inquire about their stories; how they came to be who they are. Instead we are more comfortable with sameness – people like us – from whom we often get consistent reinforcement for what we already know. We miss the opportunity to mine the wealth of our differences and to learn from the diverse experiences of the other people around us.

Several months after this visit with my Dad, I was on a business trip returning from Denver to my home outside of Baltimore. At that time in my career I was flying often, usually on Southwest Airlines that had its hub at Thurgood Marshall Baltimore Washington Airport. Because of my frequent flights I had the highest credentials the airline granted to its customers. As such, I almost always was in the first group to board the plane. This particular day I was annoyed to hear the gate personnel announce that there was a special group of passengers on this flight who would be boarding ahead of everyone. It turned out this was an honor flight for a group of WWII veterans heading to Washington DC. It was just then that my father’s lesson reverberated in my brain.

There were about sixty of these veterans who had boarded ahead of me and there were still plenty of aisle and window seats when it was my turn to board. However, I decided to take advantage of this opportunity and put my Dad’s advice into action. I walked just a few rows into the plane and spotted two men who seemed to be engaged in an animated conversation. One occupied the window seat and one the aisle. As I got to their row I respectfully interrupted their conversation to ask if they minded me joining them in the middle seat. Perhaps they were disappointed to have someone sit between them, but if so they hid it well. 

Once I was seated, I told each of my seat-mates that I was curious about their trip to Washington and wondered if they wouldn’t mind sharing with me their war stories, literally. Unsurprisingly, the circumstances of our discussion, their excitement of visiting the WWII Memorial in Washington DC for the first time, together with their comrades on this flight set the stage for quite an interesting discussion. The three-hour flight felt like it lasted for a tenth of that time. We landed too soon to exhaust all of their stories. But what I learned amounted to a volume of knowledge about an era that I knew all too little about. As often happens with Southwest Airlines, as we taxied to the gate, the flight attendants announced our special guests to a resounding ovation from the other passengers. When we neared the gate, our flight was greeted by an escort of water cannons and we disembarked to a hero’s welcome. The scene brought tears to my eyes.

My father’s insights were correct. Learning is all about recognizing information existing all around us that is often camouflaged or unrecognizable. Those of us willing to get past the fa?ade of person’s appearance, willing to celebrate our differences, and learn from their unique backgrounds, may find a wealth of information and a fountain of knowledge waiting to be tapped.