Peeking through the JOHARI window

As I’ve mentioned, the COACA counselling skills cert was a foundational skills programme that had to be completed before the CBT diploma could start.? I expected to develop my listening skills and gain experience, what I wasn’t prepared for was the level of personal insight I would gain.?

Self awareness is a big factor in developing counselling or therapy skills.? We need to be aware of any prejudices or preconceptions we hold so they don’t influence the therapeutic relationship.?

Now I think I’m a fairly reflective person, but actually stopping and using tools to gain and develop personal insight, and then talk them through with someone, isn’t an everyday occurrence.?

There was a lot of this, and one of the first tools we used was the JOHARI window.? You might have heard of it?? I came across it a few years ago.? I had assumed it was a mystical approach grounded in eastern philosophy.? In my head I can hear the word ‘johari’ being spoken with that beautiful Indian lilt.?

Turns out it was names after two blokes called Joe and Harry, so a bit less exotic, but still just as interesting.?

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The concept is this.? There are things we know about ourselves that we happily share with others.? It’s our public face that we show the world.? Some people might see more of this than others, depending on how close we are to people, but it’s the ‘us’ that we understand and share.?

Then there’s the part of ourselves that we know, but we keep hidden.? It might be that we are unsure of this aspect, maybe we’re embarrassed, maybe it’s something we don’t like about ourselves, or maybe it’s just something we feel too nervous to admit for a variety of reasons, but it’s the corners of ourselves that are private and just for us to know and understand.??

Then it gets really interesting.? Our blind self is the aspects of us that others see, but we don’t.? This is seeing ourselves as others see us.? We all give off signals through our actions, the way we talk, what we say and how we say it, that provide insights into us.? Often this is so ingrained that we don’t realise it.? It’s only when we stop and get feedback from others that we get these insights.???

Sometimes we get this through silly arguments or misunderstandings.? Someone interprets what we have said in a way we didn’t mean, and it causes friction (or comedy) and we need to clarify.? But this was more subtle and a little deeper.? What we gathered was people’s impressions of us as a person and captured the insight of how others saw us.? Some of it was validating and reassuring, some of it was a little surprising.?

The last section is the hardest to access.? It’s the parts of us that we don’t know, and neither does anyone else.? The parts we haven’t discovered yet.? This was the aim of much of the self awareness activity, to expand our JOHARI window and gain insights and understanding over that’s in that hidden area.?

The main lesson I took from this was that any kind of therapy or counselling is a process of discovery, and we can’t expect to work through that process with others if we haven’t been through it ourselves.?

So lots of personal reflections and insights followed after this.? I just need to decide which ones I’ll share and which one’s I’ll keep hidden.?

The questions I’ll leave you with are:?

How big is the ‘open self’ in your JOHARI window??

Do you want to expand it??

If so, how can you gain fresh insights??