Peak Mind Pro: Enhancing Relationships
Dr. Ashley Smith
Speaker | Psychologist | Author | Master Your Mind. Break Limits. Live Bold.
Strong relationships are a key aspect of wellbeing, for individuals as well as workplaces. While lots of attention gets paid to critical relationship skills like conflict resolution and boundary setting, we see surprisingly few conversations about the other end of the spectrum. Developing skills that actively enhance relationships is equally as important.?
It turns out that how you acknowledge and celebrate victories matters. In fact,?it's more predictive of strong relationships than how you handle conflict (according to research from UC Santa Barbara). While some people seem to naturally bask in others' glory, this doesn't always come easily, especially in the workplace. Fortunately, these are skills that can be learned.?
When it comes to responding to good news, consider two dimensions: active v. passive and constructive v. destructive.?
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Active v. Passive
This factor relates to your degree of involvement in your response. Active responses are more engaged and robust, including animated facial expressions and detailed verbal content. Passive responses, on the other hand, are more, well, passive. They are characterized by neutrality, distraction, and disinterest. You might assume that an active response is preferable because it strengthens your relationship more, and you'd be correct, with a big caveat.
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Constructive v. Destructive
That caveat lies with our second dimension, which captures whether the response adds to or detracts from the relationship health. Constructive responses add to - think of them as positive. In contrast, destructive responses tear down the relationship; they are negative.
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Putting It Together
Taken together, the way you respond?when coworkers, bosses, subordinates, partners, friends, family, or your kids share good news can fall into one of four categories:
Active Constructive?- You are fully engaged and interested. You acknowledge the victory and expand by asking questions. This is what we're shooting for. Active constructive responses are like making deposits in the relationship bank account, building strength and promoting good will and collaboration.
Passive Constructive?- While you acknowledge the victory, you do so in a generic way, typically in a neutral tone or while distracted. This is better than the alternatives below but leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to strengthening the relationship.?
Active Destructive?- You give an active, involved response...that is negative, finding some way, perhaps inadvertently, to tarnish the victory. This response is damaging to the relationship.
Passive Destructive?- You pretty much ignore the good news all together. This response is also quite damaging.
Monthly Tip?
Consider times in the recent past when someone at work and someone in your personal life shared good news. How did you respond? If your response didn't fall into the active constructive category, what might you have said or done differently to enhance the relationship?
Reflecting on your interactions after-the-fact and taking the time to revise your initial responses to be more active and constructive can help you cement this skill.?
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Helpful Hints
Communication Styles
Celebrating victories is one?important aspect of building healthy relationship skills, but there is so much more to learn! In our next Quarterly Psych Strength Workshop Series installment (April 2022), we'll be focusing on communication styles and how to use that information to level up your interactions and enhance your relationships further.?If you're interested in learning more about?how your team can participate in this powerful learning experience, email us at?[email protected]?or click the link below.
Peak Mind is proud to be a featured speaker at the first Humanity At Work conference hosted by?A Deeper Way. This 3 day event will be held in Minneapolis in May, and virtual tickets are available as well.?We can't wait to see you there! Learn more at:
Additional Resources
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“Celebrate the success of others. High tide floats all ships."
- Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Researcher, Writer, Speaker — ?? about how people achieve really big things. People and organizations hire me when they need a speaker or consultant who will translate research, stories, and best practices into action.
3 年"How you acknowledge and celebrate victories matters" - YES! Love this topic, Ashley Smith, PhD - and great tips. Especially love the tips on attention (phone down!) and curiosity (ask questions).
Chief Entrepreneur Officer as a service | Fractional Key Accounts & Business Development Director | Country Launcher
3 年Excellent article with a profound approach to this topic!
Providing research, rituals and workplace wellness programs to retain and engage mothers.
3 年Great reminders Ashley and I love the communications 'grid' and distinctions on how to recognize and celebrate achievements in the most helpful ways.