Peace Out, 2020. It's Been Real.

Nothing has been traditional in 2020. The coronavirus has caused a triple somersault with our ways of life. It has uprooted many of our rituals and festivities. We’ve made it through pandemic birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, and graduations. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Memorial Day and Labor Day. Juneteenth and Independence Day. Halloween and Thanksgiving. Now, we are in the sandwich of all the December holidays.

This is a time typically dripping with messages of celebration and images of cheer. There can be an almost-relentless pressure to be positive and bright. Yet, this seems disconnected from our current reality. The juxtaposition can be jarring.

I myself have been emotionally wobbly these days. I long for an end to the loneliness and pain that the pandemic has wrought. How I wish that I could simply visit my parents and give them a big, warm hug. My grief oscillates, and the phases vary in length and intensity. It can shock me and knock me down, particularly when it seems to come out of nowhere.

Of course, nobody (including me!) wants to “put down roots in Sadville,” as Nora McInerny observed in the New York Times. And, we do need to acknowledge that this place is part of our human roadmap. “Grief and gratitude are not in competition with one another. They do not cancel each other out.” Like she says, we must provide the space and grace for all of our emotions “always – but especially now.”

There have been lots of articles written about how to adjust our plans with a holiday reboot, whether you are with loved ones or alone. For instance, back in October, Bear Bergman compiled a whole list in Vice with ways to organize a special socially-distanced connection with family and in November, Jennifer Peepas assembled some fantastic tips for a solo holiday.

While we’ve been in pandemic modification mode, I’ve been paying more attention to my communication mode. Since we've been besieged with difficulty in 2020, I've been cautious about using the words “happy” and “merry.” I started to notice my reaction when I heard the habitual holiday salutations that used to easily roll off my own tongue. They do not quite convey the sentiment for me. They feel… off. Because my mood is… off. (Btw, this is not actually the first year that holidays have proven to be hard, bereft, and awkward for many individuals. It can be rough terrain when the expectation of happiness and togetherness bumps up against other things. I’m increasingly attuned to that fact). So, I have been adapting my language. Sometimes, I am prone to earnest tenderness. Other times, I am inclined to playful whimsy. I do not want to skirt the sadness, while I also want to tap into a spirit of uplift. For me and those around me. Of course, I realize that there is no “one-size-fits-all” solution for everyone.

No matter how you may be spending this period, here are a few clever holiday cards of 2020 - 40 in total! - with a smidge of solemnity and a touch of irreverence. (They are in no particular order. I included as I discovered them. If you're wondering, I'm partial to 4, 11, 16, 17, 21, and 38). I hope that, among this batch, one may strike a chord for you. And perhaps even bring a smile. It is intended to mark this moment in a different, and still meaningful, way. From my inbox to yours.

Which do you like best? What else would you offer? Feel free to snap a pic of a holiday card that you've sent or received this year and share in the comments.

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Whatever the holidays mean for you, and however you may be passing the time, I hope that you take a beat and take care of yourself. May we all have a peaceful and restful end to 2020. With a sprinkle of #joy and a sparkle of #light, filling our hearts and our homes, today and every day. Here’s to the possibilities of 2021.