Peace of mind is saying "never mind"

You made the statement, I asked for an explanation and you say “never mind”? Next time you want to flap your gums for nothing, do everybody a favour and just shut up.” “What are you so mad about?” “Never mind.”Why would somebody say that? It could be because they want to see if you are interested enough to continue asking about it. It could be because they genuinely changed their mind and think that what they just said is now irrelevant. It could be just because they decided to not give it another thought and simply leave it for what it is.

What would be a good response? Nothing. Everything. Anything in between. Do you want to know more about what that person said? Do you want to just leave it for what it is and continue conversing about something else, or stop the conversation right there? There are no right or wrong answers really. It’s all up to you. It depends on the conversation. You can say okay, or you can stay quiet. For example, if the person asked you a question, and you asked for more details, and then the person said, never mind, you know the person does not want to give more details for a certain reason - then just leave it or tell them you are there if they want to talk - depending on what the conversation was about.

Knowing whether they actually want you to ‘drop it’ or not isn't easy. There's no rule of thumb as people and situations are very different. I guess, if you're concerned that they didn't mean it, you should gently let them know the topic is still open on your end, and you're there to listen and care to understand. Don't force them to say anything more on it, but keep your door open, Usually, when someone ends a conversation with ‘never mind' they are sounding pretty agitated and sarcastic. A respectable way to have the last word, and thereby leave the conversation in a better mindset is to say with all sincerity, “OK, I will (never mind), but I am here for you if you ever change your mind!

Do nothing. They need to have enough balls to say what they want to say or do without making you have to pry it out of them. That's not your responsibility. Eventually they will learn that never mind means never mind and if they don't mean never mind, they best not say it to you. In my experience when someone tells me never mind, its usually when they’re trying to push me into doing something I don’t want to. I find this sort of comment minimises my response eg I don’t like that comment / I’m unable to do what you’re asking. Usually its in the context of someone ignoring the personal boundary I’m setting

If its important, I say actually I do mind. An example. A former housemate and owner of the house I used to live in has an unfortunate habit of duck shoving their responsibilities. Once they gave me 12 hours to say they were travelling overseas for an indefinite period. They had posted an online ad for a new room mate, and told me I had to meet all prospective roomies. When I refused, I got the following: I trust your judgment. No - its your responsibility I responded. If you don’t feel safe - my friend Bruce can be present when you interview people. Again, I responded - its not my responsibility. The next ‘persuasive’ argument - there’s been 6 responses to the ad so far so it’ll be easy to choose someone.

My final response - actually its not my responsibility and I mind being asked. Never mind…… used when a person doesn’t get the answer or action they want, despite it potentially being the correct one, or an answer that isn’t suitable since they haven’t disclosed the full details or given full instructions of the scenario/job or an answer that isn’t thorough due to you giving an answer that is silly, or you weren’t equipped to give, or an action you weren’t trained to do. It’s passive aggressive and demeaning. 2 options…… that’s ok, I needed to do……anyway, or tell me what you want clearly and I’ll try to understand and act accordingly. Some people will give people jobs or ask questions that are ambiguous to make themselves feel needed. Don’t fall for this!!! Just walk away. It’s their issue not yours in this scenario.

You don’t have to say anything. But I would delve deeper and be sincere whilst preventing that lull that becomes all too apparent to all who are paying attention when serious trouble is sensed amongst males. So not to make it out as a big deal to try prevent ego from disallowing them to confide. But at the same time, make eye contact to show that they have your full attention and that now is actually a good time to open up. Chances are I would be able to tell after not too long if they were going to spill or not. To see if I should pursue the interrogation or if it will just create more tension and what ever else they induce during such a process.

Just realised this scenario is only from a male to another male. If I was dealing with a female…” My hands are raised in the air” Nah I would attempt more cautiously and maybe with a genuine hug if appropriate. (Depending on the relationship) I’m too tired to run through such a scenario in my head and relay it to y’all using correct Language n what not. That shouldn’t matter but unfortunately it just seems to get through to more if you create the perception of intelligence. Cheers!