Paying Respect Now

Unless you’re completely avoiding the news, you can’t help but know that tens of thousands have been standing in line – the British call it “The Queue” – to pay their last respects to Queen Elizabeth II, now “lying in state” at Westminster Hall in London.

When you look at the scene dispassionately, you might be somewhat astonished to learn that some people are willing to stand patiently in that queue for up to eight or ten hours, or even more, to walk past the flag draped coffin of the late Queen for 30-45 seconds.

“The Queue” may be a uniquely British institution, but the concept of “paying respect” to those who have died is as old as civilization itself. When we pay our respects to the dead, we’re expressing admiration for how they lived, for what they accomplished, and the difference they made in our lives and those of others. It is for many of us, a profound moment of intentionally honoring someone else’s life.

But paying our respects to the dead can also trigger powerful moments of self-reflection. We look at our own lives while we patiently wait; we consider what we have done in our lives, how we’ve made a positive contribution to the world, and perhaps wonder if others will line up in the same way to pay their respects to us after we’ve gone?

When I was a young man, a tragic accident taught me that life is precious and fleeting, and that each of us has but a short time to make our mark on our families, our friends, our organizations, and communities. My sincere hope is that I have used my time wisely and effectively. I think many of us think this way.

And yet, too often we find ourselves stopped, or stuck, or disempowered by both our inner demons and outside forces beyond our control. It’s at these times that our good intentions fall to the wayside as we struggle to keep a roof over our heads, our children fed and healthy and our close relationships intact. There’s no shame in surviving in a tough, unfair, and sometimes brutally abusive world.

But when it comes our time to leave, we may – if we’re lucky – have a few moments to ask ourselves, “Have I done enough?” It’s a hard question for us to answer ourselves. So, we may need others to tell us, to pay their respects to us, preferably before we’re gone.

So, I urge you… if you have someone in your life who has made a powerful and profound difference in yours, don’t wait until they're gone to pay them your respects. Tell them now; let them know with a note or card or a call, even just a voicemail message, how much they mean to you and how they helped you become who you are.

Paying your respects doesn’t have to be done after someone’s life is done, you can do it right now. And why not?

by Gregg Ward | Executive Director at The Center for Respectful Leadership