Paying it Forward: Communication Tips that I’ve Learned from Others

Over the past few months I have been attending and presenting at a variety of women and diversity events. After 20+ years of being in the communication and technology industry, I find it very rewarding to help and guide other women and men who are looking to navigate their career paths.

Some of the interesting conversations of late that may resonate with you:

When to use the words Believe, Feel and Think:

Women tend to use the word “feel” more than men. It’s a nonthreatening word. What I found interesting is the concern and stress that goes with confidently and authoritatively sharing input without using the term “feel”, “believe” or “think”. My guidance: each one of you was hired for a reason. Everyone has different perspectives. We won’t always be right (that is a hard one to swallow), and we won’t always be wrong. So when speaking up, there is no need to add the disclaimers “feel”, “believe” or “think” if you are the expert stating your point of view.

Getting your voice heard:

Whether you are a woman with a quiet voice, or a man that is an introvert, your job likely requires some kind of participation – and, again, you were hired because of your knowledge, so share it. If it’s difficult to insert yourself, find a way. Raise your hand if that’s how your company works. Find a lull in the meeting or conversation to jump in, or if it’s difficult to engage, pat the table (don’t slam it) to get everyone to look at you. Don’t hold it in for only your inner self to hear you. How many times have you heard yourself say, “I was thinking/asking that same thing” but you never said it out loud? Every person should engage in meetings – that’s why you are there.

Women mirroring men in meetings:

In my business, there are usually more men than women at the table. I remember way back when I graduated from college (and it seems like forever ago) getting a book on interviewing that clearly stated to lean in during interviews. It shows you are engaged. That stuck, and since then we’ve seen a very popular book, “Lean In” resonate with even more people. The thing is, I was at an event recently where a senior leader spoke about how she didn’t lean in because the men in the room didn’t lean in. She didn’t want to be seen as the overly enthusiastic female in the room. So, like the other men in the room, she leaned back. I hope for all the women leaders out there, that you are helping to set the tone of your meetings – leaning in or out, and fully engaged.  

I hope that one day the conversations around diversity, man vs. woman, aren’t happening. That we won’t need women in networking and diversity events. That we’ll just have networking events to share ideas and meet others in our industries. That we’ll just be working together, engaged and respectful no matter our age, gender, or anything else that makes each one of us unique.

I want to help pay it forward, and I’ll keep attending and presenting at women and diversity events to do my part in helping those that want to learn and navigate their career paths.