Pay Attention To Endings. They Matter.

Did you know that all human societies across time have had rituals for the 2 major universal transitions in life: marriage and death.

Why?

Because when a major time in our life ends or begins, a set of rituals helps us make the psychological transition we need at the time.

The ring on our finger reminds us we are now a couple, the shared home, the new name plate each remind us that our days as single people have come to an end and now we are with someone we love for life (at least one hopes).

Career Transitions and Endings

One of the difficulties with career transitions is that when we have been in a career for a long time, recognising that we have ended that one part of life is not so easy.

Whenever I meet people who have been laid off, for the first several months they insist that everything is great. They have just landed on their feet because they have received a contract from their old employer. Their life is in fact so much better now that they can work on their own terms .

It is almost as though they were trying hard to minimise the end of the past.

I have always wondered about how unhelpful this is.

In the end, making it as a solopreneur or consultant will mean giving up so many old ways of thinking and doing things.

They will need to give up the idea that getting projects is only about making friends with a few key people in the organization. Yes, that works for a while, but not too long.

They will instead need to start to think about what unique perspective or system can they bring to the table.

They will need to add many new skills. The skills of a thought leader. Speaking, writing and influencing.

For all this to happen, they will first need to be able to truly comprehend the enormity of what that transition means.

Why is acknowledging endings important?

It turns out that truly acknowledging endings is key to our ability to move ahead. This is true not just of careers, but of many other things in our lives too.

And we do this in some areas of our lives pretty well. We know that if we break-up with someone we should delete (or at least archive) all our pictures together, change our social media profile pics, and so on. We know that if we are getting married, we are ending our life as a single man or woman, and should (ideally) delete chats with earlier boyfriends or girlfriends.

Yet for careers, it is sometimes less clear what endings mean.

When and how do we really accept our lives as they were have ended.

And we are now on to something new.

In this new, our old ideas will only come in the way.

Yet, do we throw out everything? What about ideas that worked well for us and can continue to work well for us in the new?

This is a tough one.

Make Space For The New

Truthfully, acknowledging endings will now allow us to make space for the new.

Whether we do this by (temporarily) keeping our old ideas aside and approaching the world entirely through a fresh lens.

Or we do this by making changes in our ways of thinking by spending time with those who are experts in our new and chosen field.

Or, we do this by taking a deliberate time out where we re-imagine ourselves far more deeply.

The choice is yours.

As an aside, wedding ceremonies are so universal to helping us manage transitions in our own personal lives.

Here's one that is not too far, and yet fascinating.

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(About me: I lead Unqbe, a think-tank and advisory firm around building future organisations, and building future careers. We track change through commissioned and primary research. We help leadership teams build the new workplace through a culture that supports change and people practices for the future.)