Paying Attention
Dr. Foojan Zeine
Psychotherapist | Author | International Speaker | Podcast Host | Creator of Awareness Integration Model | Life Coach
The price of not paying attention can be high. This past week, I have had many incidents of not paying attention and having to pay some consequences. The first was trying to get into my garage, and I scratched the right side of my car. I went to a seminar and had to bring cash for the fee; I did not double-check and just assumed how much it was; I went back and forth to my room to get the correct amount three times. Yesterday, although I had mosquito repellent in my purse, I did not put it on and end it up being beaten all over my body and having a severe reaction to it. Should I say more?
I have paid dearly before for not paying attention. The consequences I shared with you today are insignificant but still annoying and have created inconvenience. However, It makes me aware of how many areas of life I am not paying full attention to. How about you? Could you see how often you have paid a light or a hefty price due to a lack of paying attention??
What takes your attention away during the day?
Some people think about emotionally charged events and rehash them repeatedly. Some dream about future wishes, fantasies, or outcomes. Some bring up scenarios where they felt powerless before and create a more powerful imaginative result. Some blame others for their mishaps and produce upset and anger for themselves. Some predict pessimistic scenarios for the future and provoke fear. Some strategize or think of all the ways to manipulate to create the desired outcome. What do you do?
What are some external matters that take your attention? Your smartphone, emails, texts, social media, news, porn, work, children, pet, shopping, or practically anything.?
Our mind has become used to multitasking constantly. We might have trained it that way, consciously or unconsciously, by allowing it to happen.?
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I decided to go on a walk and be present to what happened to my attention. I purposely did not listen to music, podcast, or audiobook. I watched my mind wonder about all activities I had to do this week, bringing it back to my walking and the scene around me. I watched it get into an argument with a friend. I laughed since that was a fabricated argument, which was unnecessary. Then for the first time, I saw two men mowing the grass in our neighborhood. We made a connection and looked at each other, and said hello. I viewed multiple spider webs that were dense and filled with dew which gave them a fantastic shine when the sun shined on it. I was grateful for nature and all around me, which I mostly don't see, experience, and take for granted.??
Then as I was walking, I got intrigued by the artwork of weaving between two trees by a spider. Wow, what a persistent art. Whoops, I almost fell on my face. Here we go again. I was not paying attention to what I was doing. I could have stopped and enjoyed the weaving and then walked again. For 45 minutes, I watched my mind and awareness go everywhere and back. However, I became much more explicit as I returned to the present moment.??
So, I decided to practice paying full attention to what I was doing all day at that moment. Stop what I am doing to pay attention to another matter that insists on taking my attention. Stop again and return to what I am doing. This path creates less confusion, less energy, and a richer experience of what I am choosing to focus on. I know that when we are doing a task such as walking around, driving, or moving along, the amount of stimulus becomes vast. However, it is the intention of paying attention to the act of walking or driving that allows the entrance of all other stimuli within it that is relevant to keep me safe or enrich the experience. I open myself up to consequences when I stop paying attention to what I am doing but continue doing it while paying attention to some other thought or task.?
I have spoken with many parents of young children who have trained themselves to do 100 activities simultaneously while growing more eyes and ears on the back of their heads to watch their youngsters be safe at all times. But they must stop at times, focus on their body, and quiet down. I have spoken with people trained to do so much that they can't concentrate on their bodies while having sex. People often report hovering around their body vs. experiencing their body and life as it shows up. Hence a sense of anxiety and overwhelm is experienced.??
Let's focus on what you intend to create. Stop consciously what you are doing. Attend to another matter fully. Allow a full and rich experience at every moment.?
Love
Foojan