Pausing to hit play

CAUGHT OUR EYE

Reading for the school pick-up line.

Working on my (social) fitness.

Relationships are the cornerstone of happiness and living a full life. Your family, your friends, (even that neighbor you avoid when getting out of your car because they’re so nice but you don’t have time for a 3-hr. conversation) give you someone to share your life with, to celebrate the ups and downs.?

The Well desk 纽约时报 just wrapped up a 7-day Happiness Challenge focused on prioritizing and strengthening relationships. (You can catch up on the challenge here.) Dr. Bob Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and co-author of “The Good Life” shares a general approach to the challenge via three quick tips you can start using today:?

1. Set goals: Make a list of a few people you want to be closer with this time next year.
2. Be consistent: “The frequency and quality of contact with other people are two major predictors of happiness,” he says.?
3. Embrace mundane activities: Ordinary experiences with loved ones at the kitchen table can produce as much happiness as extraordinary experiences.?

“So, what do you do?”

We shared a quote in a previous newsletter about stay-at-home moms and working moms being treated like they’re different species: “ … but in fact, they’re usually the same person at different points in their life. Very few people leave the workforce permanently.” Jessica Grose on an episode of Startup Parent Podcast with Sarah K Peck .?

We stumbled on an equally jaw dropping and important conversation this week in an op ed by Neha Leela Ruch , founder of Mother Untitled . She says mothers, like her, who are primarily focused on raising their kids at this moment dread being asked about work. But she argues it’s far more painful – even detrimental – to be overlooked and never asked at all. “The question ‘What do you do?’ may seem like a standard icebreaker, but without it, there’s no way to access the follow-ups that help us understand and learn from one another.”

Quote we’re crushing on this week:

“For affordable child care to be an interesting story for people living in individualistic cultures, it has to be about something other than children.” What If We Make Affordable Child Care About Wellness?, The Cut

THIS WEEK’S EPISODE: Redefining Ambition?

What we’re currently chatting about on Working Mom Hour.

Now this is how to plan for a career pause! In episode 46, we chat with Molly Cunningham , who's strategically taken timeouts from the corporate world to focus on building her life and relationships. With more than a dozen years of retail and tech experience for big-name brands like Amazon and Target, Molly shows us how to not lose sight of what matters most, or momentum.

Show bombs:?

(13:05) “Very quickly [it] became the lowest part of my life … I’m no longer doing it anymore.

(27:29) “I’m just as ambitious. I just have more things I’m ambitious about.”

(32:56) “I really had to explore [in myself], like, why do you need to feel so important?”

ON OUR MINDS

Our family joined Joe and his Mastermind Talks biz group in Costa Rica last week.

Entrepreneurs from around the world were there, many with their families. The kids had the opportunity to connect and learn from each other. What did our kids bring home with them? They want to be on screens for pleasure less, they are learning Spanish proactively to communicate better on future trips like these, they want to read more, and they asked for a travel chess set to play vs. devices when they are bored. These are simple things, but they needed this community of diverse kids to show them the benefits of trying new things. Kids continue to be our best teachers. Pura Vida! ~ Erica?

I went on a retreat this past weekend.

At one point, we were journaling about the areas of our life that were painful. I wrote about wanting to increase my emotional stamina when I'm with my kids. That after a few hours, I'm on empty, and not proud of how I show up. There was a live coaching portion, and almost instantly, it became apparent that I didn't need to change my ability to cope during long stretches with kids; but rather, it was time to acknowledge my capacity is 2-3 hours at a time, and to honor that whenever possible.

This way, when I am with them, I have the ability to show up as my best self. (And, have something left in the tank during the final "mommy!"s of the night.) A few people said it’s critical that I share this with this community. So, here we are. Sometimes we don’t need to change and grow in an area - we simply need to accept ourselves and honor that. ~ Mads?

One of my favorite pastimes is eavesdropping on strangers.

It’s one of the many reasons why I live in the city. Ample opportunities to listen to bits and pieces of conversations and make up my own storylines, or send myself into a deeply unnecessary spiral of reflection. The other day, I passed by a child pushing her hot pink scooter, with her dad trailing her frantically to ensure she avoids the piles of dog shit, another charming benefit of living in a city. The little girl asked, “When will it be ready?” And the dad said, “It will be ready when it’s ready.”?

I have no idea what they were talking about, but it reminded me that nothing is ready in life until it is. So I should stop watching every drip of coffee fill up my pot or stare at the thyme plant that absolutely refuses to grow in my garden. Whatever it is you’re waiting on - give it time! Not thyme. ~ Marla?

See you next week!?

P.S. Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode, and kindly review the podcast on Apple Podcasts so we can reach more working moms. We always want to hear your thoughts, concerns, questions or guest suggestions – email [email protected].?

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