The Pause That Changes Everything

I’m back. I know, it’s been a minute. Well, it’s actually been a few months but who’s counting? I’ve truly enjoyed each of every one of the many reminders that you have sent my way.

Like many of you, I’ve been in self-reflection mode, stimulated by the global pandemic and the George Floyd crisis. I’ve spent a lot of time in conversation with people that I respect. And I’ve been doing deep work. 

But, last week, I had an utterly inspiring experience. I think that it’ll inspire you, too.

True Conversations: Where Real Change Happens

As I took my place on the virtual stage with my friend and colleague, Dan Caruso, CEO of Zayo Group, images, videos, and music from the culture filled the space. Bob Marley. Marvin Gaye. John Lennon & the Beatles. 

“Whoa, Dan,” I breathed, listening and watching the 10-minute opening montage.

A few weeks earlier, Dan and I were having an unrelated conversation when he invited me to speak at this event which was his all-hands meeting. His vision was simple and compelling. Although the whole thing sounded crazy at first. He said he wanted to open a conversation about race, gender, inclusion, George Floyd … a pantheon of Pandora’s Box topics without any guardrails.

But true change requires courage, so I was all in. I said, “Dan, it’s a hard yes!” This really mattered to him.

I was honored not only because he asked, but also because he had invited two other CEOs, leaders of color, and both are exceptional people. Together, the four of us are collectively responsible for billions in M&As and IPOs, hundreds of millions of dollars in funds raised and tens of thousands of jobs.

When the day arrived, Dan opened the call with a simple and succinct 30-second introduction. He didn’t do a long diatribe about who he was as a person and CEO, nor did he mandate the potential take-aways. He simply said that everyone was a part of the conversation, that he invited his entire company, his board, community leaders and his family. The intention: to create a pause, to inject new insights and to become a better company. 

I was in awe.

Dan wasn’t trying to be a leader with all the answers. He simply wanted his 2,100 employees and everyone else to be open-minded and open-hearted to new inputs, new questions and new outcomes. “Times are changing,” he said. “And we have to change with them.”

Then, for over an hour, the 2,100+ worldwide employees of Zayo Group, a multi-billion dollar revenue company that recently went private, actively listened to the three of us opine about careers in tech, venture and private equity.

It wasn’t easy to talk to strangers about our challenged beginnings which were eerily similar. We were all raised by a single parent - our Mothers. We all grew up fearful of law enforcement. And we were all propelled forward as achievers with early success in our respective careers.

But Dan made it easy for each of us to go deep on our personal journeys, family histories and upbringings. He created a safe and magical space for us to share real-life perspectives on our walks through life. 

Through story-telling and sometimes pointed questions from the audience, everything came to the surface: criticism, overwork, loneliness, biases, targets versus quotas, compensation ...

What I loved most was that Dan knew everyone’s name. Many of Zayo’s employees submitted their names along with their questions because they felt safe enough with Dan that they didn’t feel the need to be anonymized.

Dan cares. And his employees know it.

There were no “bad” questions. Some of the questions challenged us. But they also challenged several corporate norms.

Why am I writing this? And why does it matter?

It matters. First, because change comes at a cost.

So many companies have been publicly fervent in their commitment to inclusion and diversity, but I truly appreciate when a leader invests real money and real time. 

Dan invested. Based on time spent and an average of $100 an hour per employee, this CEO spent $250,000 to start a dialog with his company. That’s commendable and hopefully this becomes the new standard across corporate America.

It matters. Second, I received hundreds of emails and LinkedIn messages after the event from women and persons of color who self-identified as “privileged.”

See? It’s not about race, inclusion or diversity; it’s about truth, authenticity, vulnerability. 

As leaders, we need to set an example the way Dan did. We need examples that allow us to stress test who we are. You can say that you’re inclusive as a corporate value, but still have all-male or all-Stanford teams.

Bold, genuine moves attract advocacy. Small tweaks and superficial moves invite doubt and skepticism.

We as leaders and founders must contend with what we feel pressured to say we care about versus what we actually care about. We have to be willing and able to align our ethics and morals, to go up against what the system says that we should do versus what we think we should do. We have to be willing to break patterns, to be open and to let ideas pass.

There will always be false prophets: those who tout the importance of integrity and the authenticity of progress. They’re loud, immovable and, at a moment’s notice, willing to abandon prior positions OR weaponize their perception of your values. 

That’s why I honor CEOs like Dan. I honor the leader who opens and actively welcomes debate and dialog. The leader who hears all sides, shares openly and challenges himself and his behavior and values. I honor the leader who’s committed to change, looks at the data and then makes firm bold investments and proclamations.

Change is not free. It costs us our dated ideals, our rigid fears and our own mythologies. Change comes when we let other people in, and when we really understand ourselves.

True change is an invitation. An allowance. Imposed change requires force and power.

We cannot fear breaking old things to make the future better. What are you breaking these days?

• What I’m Reading. I’m re-reading the 1997 book Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies by the thinker, physician, physicist, historian and scientist Jared Diamond, also everything by Israeli Historian Yuval Noah Harari (Boris, thank you for the suggestion!).
• What I’m Listening to. The incredible soundtrack from the movie “Queen & Slim.”
• What I’m Proud of. My buddy Eric Roza, the incoming CEO and Owner of CrossFit. You can read the open letter he wrote here. Incredible leader, noble cause. Good luck, Brother!
• What I’m Watching. Chef’s Table on NetFlix (Frank, thank you for this recommendation!).