Patience is NOT a Virtue

“Be Patient.”

You’ve probably been hearing this since childhood.

Just wait for things to happen for you, don’t rush, you’ll get there eventually....

This is terrible advice. Absolutely awful. Here’s why:

Patience is a cop out.

People use patience as an excuse to think small. Patience tells you to wait, slow down, avoid risks, and gradually expand your comfort zone. I used to believe this. I would try new things, but only to a point. l took it slow because I was afraid to challenge my own norms and beliefs. To live despite fear, not with fear.

If you want to be something, choose to be it, then go figure it out. To accomplish the extraordinary, you can’t sit around hoping for your moment. No person or power is just waiting for the right time to hand you your dreams. If you want to be great, you have to go all out, every single day.

I am not advocating for burn out. Taking care of your physical and mental health is a huge part of creativity and effectiveness. Stop and reflect. Read, write, laugh, be present with other humans. Live out of a place of beauty and passion, but don’t get complacent. If you really enjoy doing something, it shouldn’t feel like a chore to put in the hours and effort.

The Power of “Why Not?

Once you’re working out of joy and passion, it’s time to start challenging your assumptions. Don’t ever start by assuming you can’t do something in a specific timeline. Being patient permits you to settle for good enough. Never demand anything less than the best for yourself.

I live by the mantra: “anything that is possible for another human being is possible for you.” Ask yourself, “why can’t I accomplish my 10 year goals in 6 months?” (I borrow this question from Peter Thiel). This will challenge you to rethink your timeline, and search for ways to work smarter, not just harder. By all means, take every shortcut you find, just don’t slow down.

Patience quells your drive to challenge limits and prevents you from finding ways to achieve big goals in short amounts of time. Patience cannot coexist with greatness. That being said, success doesn’t happen overnight. In order to stick with a dream until it becomes reality, you need to develop perseverance.

Perseverance vs. Patience

When people talk about patience, they are often referring to perseverance. Most of us will endure periods of time when results just aren’t showing up. When you’re giving it all you got, but you don’t seem to be making progress, it’s tough. I say that from experience. Learning to persevere is essential if you want to keep your joy and passion in the hard times.

Big changes can take a long time to come to fruition. You may have to spend years mastering your craft, testing your ideas, or finding your niche. That’s OK. Celebrate the small wins, live under an umbrella of gratitude, and fight like hell until you figure it out. Every embarrassment, every failure, and every setback is an opportunity.

The longer you wait to encounter those opportunities, the less you'll have. Invite them to happen daily. Don’t let perseverance become patience. If you need to change what your doing, change it now. If think you might fail, fail as fast as possible. There is not sense in waiting for the universe to choose your course for you. Control what you can control and get on with it.

It took almost a decade for me to allow myself to create, because I was afraid of the vulnerability. Once I became determined overcome that reflex, I was able to fully commit and find a place where I could live by passion, not fear. The only way to overcome that fear is to dive in headfirst. Learn to swim later.

Quit Hedging Yourself

One of the biggest problems I see in my own generation is mental hedging. Half-committing in order to avoid feeling the pain of failure. As a byproduct of this, we have become small thinkers, limiting our scope to reasonable, responsible dreams. We slowly move towards our passions, at a reasonable, safe rate. Waiting for an ill-defined “someday.”

This the core flaw of those who preach patience. No one changes the world by playing it safe. Let yourself dream big. Let yourself plan big. Execute, and let yourself fail big. You’re absolutely going to suck at times, but your rate of growth will explode.

Yes, it's scary, and its vulnerable to be passionate in the public eye. When I started actually caring about what I created, I was dead terrified. Vulnerability is a muscle. To build it, you have to start living at the intersection of fear and passion. I’m still learning to love the workout, but I’m already addicted to the results.

Don’t dip your toes in the water, patiently waiting for it to warm up. Jump in, headfirst. Your heart rate will spike, your nerves will be on fire, but you’ll come out feeling more alive than you’ve ever felt before. You’ll be addicted to the feeling, and you won’t look back. I never have.