Patience is a virtue (and one of my superpowers).

There is not as much as we think that falls easily into a nature versus nurture dichotomy. We can sometimes be too quick to attribute characteristics or behaviours to individuals and treat them as fixed, when the reality is change is possible. Psychometric testing is a valuable tool to help us understand ourselves and others better; to identify our proclivities and to know how to manage our inclinations. Over the years I have completed numerous Psychometirc Tests. From Myer Briggs, Clifton Strengths, DISC and DISC Advanced, to Love Languages and Enneagrams. ?I have been trained as a DISC Advanced Accredited Facilitator because I see the value of helping people understand their behavioural styles to maximize potential – making sure they understand that there is ALWAYS room and opportunity to grow.

Why we behave the way we do is far more complicated than we realise. I am naturally a patient person who does not easily become flustered and have often attributed that to my time living in Arnhem Land. Spending five years in a small community (and another two in another community) where there was increased isolation due to weather conditions for half of that time contributed to developing my patience. On occasions I literally watched grass grow. I learnt to sit with my Aboriginal sisters and brothers on the ground with many hours spent in silence (A combination of learning the local Aboriginal language and the Kinship system makes for interesting communication). But I also realized that I have had other formative experiences that helped me to develop patience long before this, many of which were in cross cultural settings. Living in Frankfurt Airport for three days while waiting to see if we could get a flight out, as well as a few other ‘stand by’ situations have helped to form my character and taught me how to utilize my time productively. (Those close to me will however still be able to cite examples of where my patience hasn’t been as strong, but that doesn’t negate the predominant characteristic that is usually evident).

An influential book of whose title I have forgotten spoke about utilizing time in 15-minute blocks to accomplish tasks. This is something I have adopted over the decades and helped me to see the value of ‘15 minutes’. This is where we turn to being more practical with some tips for developing patience and learning to use your 15 minutes, but most of it comes from an attitudinal change.

When you know you have to wait somewhere (even if it is standing in a queue), think of how you may be able to utilise that time. It is worth accruing a box of tricks for your circumstance. When I was the mother of two young energetic boys, I always carried appropriate toys in my bag and learnt how to do origami but here are some more appropriate tools for my current circumstance now.

• Always carry a book (whether physical or electronic). You can download books or journal articles onto your phone or tablet.
• Make sure you set up Notes, Evernote, Dropbox or similar so you can doodle or write wherever you are.
• Attempt to memorise that thing you always wanted to add to your skillset (the alphabet in another language, the first 100 numbers of PI or anything else that takes your fancy).
• Keep a to do list of things to read or write when you have a few spare minutes.
• Go through emails or messages on your phone and respond with words of encouragement where you can.
• Learn how to be more comfortable with your own headspace.

You can even learn how to turn long periods of decision making or waiting into an asset. Where possible, you should use as much time as possible to accrue data for scenario planning. Don’t lament having to wait for an outcome but rather use the time positively. This should not be an excuse for procrastination, sometimes prompt or urgent decisions are required, (there are game theory skills in dealing with these situations as well). In my experience forced, rushed decisions can result in unfavourable outcomes, so learn to wait. This dovetails into negotiation strategies but I have seen too many examples where someone has tried to force an immediate answer, which would more often than not be a ‘NO’ or other unfavourable outcome. So, learn how to use your waiting time productively: scenario plan, accrue data and develop weighted scorecards, develop strong arguments, emotionally prepare for outcomes and WAIT. I can think of some situations that required rushed decisions with good outcomes by understanding the needs of the time, which were aided by good data. Ultimately use whatever waiting or down time as preparation time wherever or whenever you can.

Whether your waiting time is short or long, learn how to make time your friend.

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