Patience

Wait for it. Wait...wait...patience. It's my love language. It also happens to be the secret to all long term relationships. Why? Because it's not very often that two people arrive in the same place {mindset} at the same time. Of course it happens. But there is usually a waiting required.

When I was growing up, I dated women who were much older than me, as well as much younger. There was no rhyme or reason. But what I noticed, was that my friend circle was always much older than me. I'm not sure why, but they were usually at least 10, if not 20 years older than I was. And when I was meditating this evening, this came to mind. Thinking about it now, it is painfully obvious. My friends could easily look past my younger ways. They could see the train wreck coming. And while they would offer their advice, they would not judge a young man for being a young man. I surrounded myself with good people. Not sure how I did that, but it was a huge advantage to me later in life.

Patience is the great equalizer. It say's, "I'm not there yet, but I am with you." Giving someone time is probably the most generous thing you can do. It's generous, because you will never get it back. I think that is the greatest strength in my marriage. In 20 years, we have never said no to each other. I know, hard to believe, but it's true. We have this way of putting whatever the request is, on the table. We revisit from time to time, and eventually we get there. Because it is done with respect, it feels safe and comforting to both my wife and I.

Have you ever seen a couple lose their shit because one of them is chronically late? First, if they're always late, that's on you for not adjusting. I have had couples in my office ready to break up because of this very issue. If your partner running behind is a deal breaker, I suggest that the lateness is a symptom of another issue. I could be wrong, but again, patience says, "I got you." Secondly, remember when you were first dating and a little waiting was not a problem? Why is it now? Are they not worth the wait now? Patience is a way of being connected, no matter how disconnected you may feel. Because offering up patience is literally validating their worth. The worth of the relationship.

Arriving in the same place at the same time is a gift. But more often than not, you're going to have to work for it. And the work requires patience. And if we can do that, eternity holds no power of you.