Patience v. the Urge to Push
Would you describe yourself as someone who is patient? Patience is often considered a virtue, especially when we’re facing challenges. The concept of being Stoic or Spartan in our silent determination to endure difficulties with a steely will and a stiff upper lip can trace its origins to another age, to the classical traditions of an older tradition when children were taught to be silent and obedient rather than creative. But what happens when patience blurs into an excuse for not taking action?
The motivation for touching on this subject is that it’s sometimes difficult to know whether we need to push ahead with all of our energy and determination or whether it’s better to exercise patience. It isn’t always easy to know which option is best. Circumstances can change and demand a change in our response. The right response isn’t always obvious.
Let me share an example with you. Some years ago, a wise mentor concluded that I was too keen on trying to kick down any door that seemed to be blocking my progress. He suggested that I might take a step back and see if the door was trying to open towards me. Have you ever done that? Have you stopped, taken a step back, evaluated the problem from a distance and seen if there was another way around the obstacle? At the time, it was a revelation and an uncomfortable insight into my habit of constantly trying to force issues with brute force and determination. Suddenly, I understood that I could exercise a different approach. But how do you choose the best response?
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In reality, timing is often the factor that shapes many of the outcomes in our lives. When you’ve tried all the options and concluded that you’re not making progress, that would be a good moment to pause, to step back and re-evaluate the options. The apace you create might not appear to be related to being patient, but it’s a close cousin and can teach you the value of timing. Patience, therefore, is not an excuse for inaction. Rather it’s an invitation to pause and identify the relevant factors that are influencing the outcome. You might need to wait until the appropriate elements are better aligned and that’s something that might not always be in your hands. In the end, patience linked to appropriate effort provides a very powerful combination for success.
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