Patience is a Bleeping Virtue

Patience, Patience. - Dr. Frankenstein to The Monster, Frankenstein (1931)

Like nails on a chalkboard, “patience is a virtue” is grating to the ears of those of us who err on the side of impetuousness.

I used to be one of those who erred. In truth, it’s still a challenge for me not to give in to the temptation to take the path, however steep, from A straight to Z. Spoiler alert: The straight shot from A to Z rarely produces the results you were gunning for.

Early-ish in my film career, in my freelance post supervising days, there were projects that were financially or temporally crunched (or both), and stress levels ran high. On those challenging projects, where A to Z thinking was both tempting and contagious, implicit and assumed trust was the first thing to collapse.

While assuming good intentions and a general vibe of positivity are helpful, trust is developed over time. No matter how trustworthy you think you are, shortcuts put the perceived integrity of your trust at risk.

HOW THE SAUSAGE IS MADE

I experienced this firsthand on a sound mixing stage while working on a film with both a tight schedule and budget.

On the mix stage, the re-recording mixers blend the sound effects, dialogue and music together to create the polished and stylized sound we experience when we watch (and listen to) a movie. The entire process can range from a few weeks to a couple of months and sometimes more. On this particular project, we had 15 weekdays.

During the sound mix, after the mixers do several passes of blending the sound, they do a playback for the director. The director (and sometimes the picture editor) gives notes that are addressed at the mixing board by 2 or 3 mixers or in a sound editing bay by one of several sound editors. There are a lot of people with their hands on the sound, and way back in the ‘90’s those hands were literal.

There are a multitude of people involved in the filmmaking equation, and the level of mass collaboration required to finish a film is mind-boggling.

My role as post supervisor was to manage the schedule and budget and have the ability to shift from a birdseye view of the post process down to the minutia. The role also supports the studio and the filmmakers in achieving their goals, which are sometimes, and not always, at odds.

HURRY UP AND WAIT

As the list of mix notes on this particular project kept growing, it became clear that we’d be working weekends–at least two in a row. Thankfully I had had the foresight to check in with the key crew members on their availability and found a way to cover the costs for additional work.

Shifts in the schedule and budget were approved by the producers, and the crew made agreements to keep our weekend schedules as clear as possible.

We also agreed, in the moment, to address one last change note before our lunch break so the team could start working on the next scene after some fresh air and on full stomachs.

No sooner had we agreed than an executive producer (and financier of the film) arrived on the mix stage. The flow of work was interrupted.

He suggested replacing one music cue with another in ?reel we had already completed, and the mix came to a screeching halt.

The director– a deeply kind and brilliant human– offered to discuss the suggestion over lunch.

About five minutes had passed.

The director then asked if we could still address that final note before breaking. I looked to the lead sound mixer (who gave me a nod) and I said yes to working on that final note. Lunch was further delayed. I had worked with that mixer on two other films. We had a shorthand. Easy, peasy.

Probably not surprisingly to any feature post production person out there (hello, my people!), the supervising sound editor blew a gasket.

Remember the multitude of people I mentioned earlier?

The supervising sound editor is an important role with both creative story-telling and managerial responsibilities– they are the person in charge of– you guessed it– the sound design and editing process.

In this case, the sound supervisor was a fairly volatile person with whom I disliked interacting. He trusted no one, and I didn’t trust him. Intentionally or not, I neglected to check in with him.

As we carried on mixing without his buy-in, I heard my name come from his side of the dark room in a guttural whisper (think Lord Voldemort). If you can feel spit fly through the air from across a room, I felt it for sure.

I walked over, and he said something like, “Bleeeep, Diana! We need to break for bleeping lunch. I’m sure as bleep not going over [time] to now get notes from bleeping [insert Exec Producer name here]!

While he was whisper-screaming at me, the final note was addressed and broke for lunch.

Short-term goal accomplished. Relationships ignored. Trust eroded. Repair required.

“PATIENCE, PATIENCE.”

There was a chain reaction of step-skipping that occurred that day, starting with the Executive Producer interrupting the mix and opting to discuss a big music change with the director in front of at least six other people. The opportunity to build trust was bypassed, more than once, in service of reaching a goal more quickly.

For my part, the step-skipping ping pong could have ended with me putting on my big-girl pants and doing the uncomfortable thing by checking in with Lord Voldemort before proceeding.

SLOW YOUR ROLL

After eating lunch, cooling down and getting as neutral as I could, I offered a sincere apology to He Who Must Not Be Named. He apologized, too. We commiserated over how tired we were.

We admitted that patience was no longer in our vocabulary and we recognized that we had to bring it back to move forward in a more aligned and peaceful way. This first step toward trust felt essential to our surviving the long weeks ahead.

In the end, the movie was released, the music cue wasn’t replaced and this mix stage incident became a lasting reminder to slow down and choose relationship building over convenience and temporary discomfort.

PATIENCE IS A BLEEPING VIRTUE

Today, in my coaching practice, clients frequently uncover erosions of trust within their teams (or within themselves) due to shortcut solutions that seem easier in the moment. Without recognizing and repairing that trust, those solutions lead to longer term consequences.

Whether or not you feel like having patience, slowing down on a consistent basis to connect and collaborate with your team is a fantastic way to build trust.

Whether or not you enjoy sitting still, creating space in your calendar to assess your own performance, capacity and well-being will help develop trust within yourself.

Are you willing to slow down in the name of establishing trust? Are you willing to do the inconvenient or uncomfortable things that will deepen your impact and relationships with others?

Trust will be the first cornerstone established in my women’s leadership group YOUR BLUEPRINT, YOUR BUILD. We start in January. If you’re interested in deepening your sense of trust in yourself and others, reach out and we can have a slowed down conversation to see if the group is right for you.