A pathway to personal power

A solid start to improving my relationships with others but more importantly myself has been applying The Four Agreements.

These agreements have their roots in Toltec wisdom, authored by Don Miguel Ruiz, they form the significant part of the foundation in what we teach and cultivate at Creative Self Mastery when it comes to accessing AND exercising one's personal power.

The agreements are (in no specific order of importance):

? Don't take things personally

? Don't make assumptions

? Always do your best

? Be impeccable with your word

I have found that the easiest (not really that easy !) ones, or the ones I started applying pretty quickly were not taking things personally and not making assumptions and usually I invite anyone who works with me to start applying these as soon as possible to start seeing their benefit.

Don't take things personally - The impact of this agreement on me has been straightforward; I no longer have to be a victim of circumstance or other people's word and/or behaviour. It builds an immunity in self to the court of public opinion. I found it was way too easy for me to be a petal in the wind. My life literally was dictated by circumstances and when I started this journey as a coach/educator and to be coached/educated I wanted to completely shift my experience and have full agency over my reality as much as possible. This agreement allowed me to do this. Though I do at times waver and my victimhood rears its head, practicing this agreement in those moments gets me back in the driver's seat of my personal power. Whether it was someone else's behaviour/words or a certain circumstance like an accident or mishap when once before I would lose energy to it through feeling victimised by the whole thing, not taking it personally in the face of those experiences SET ME FREE from unnecessary suffering. The freedom that comes from this agreement is truly a gift and only serves to boost my personal power and agency.

Don't make assumptions - I found this agreement slowed down my thinking and allowed me to become aware of what I call my own assumption making machine that lives in our mind, which is on for our most of our waking hours. A lot of the assumptions I made about life and relating to people were purely designed to give me the illusion of safety with a false sense of knowing and how it(reality) is. Inaccurate assumptions form fertile soil for conflict others and I found this agreement especially powerful when dealing with conflict, it allowed my thinking to slow down, then by courageously remaining curious and asking questions whether it was internally with myself or externally with others it began to improve my communication dramatically in these situations. This then allowed for me to do away with misunderstandings and preconceived ideas that would only lead to pain and separation either in myself or with others, instead this agreement allowed me to remain in the energy of connection. Now don't get me wrong, I still want to make assumptions, its human and natural to do so for the sake of orienting ourselves but I realised the pain and separation through misunderstanding and preconceived ideas of myself and others are too high of a price to pay if I'm leading a life imbued with loving connection and authentic self-expression.

Always do your best - I'll be honest, historically I don’t think I consciously apply this one enough but over the last couple of years I am realising that this agreement really allows me to practice radical self-compassion and self-acceptance. If I can acknowledge myself that I am always doing my best then it stops me from going to self-judgement, which really is one of the if not THEE biggest mofos when it comes to endeavouring to live our best lives, our highest values and highest truths. Most of my life has been wrought with self-judgement which eventually gets projected out to others and the world. Crippling, self-judgement eventually leads to self-loathing and where a deadly cocktail of shame and guilt drains me of my vitality and energy, thwarting any progress I am trying to make. When I really sit with this agreement, it's not about making excuses for/not owning my dysfunctional behaviour if I wasn't in my usual state of mind but rather when acknowledging that I am always doing my best it serves me to get back into heart space through that compassion and acceptance and to create the foundation to lovingly do and be better the next time given the opportunity. I learning not to underestimate this agreement and the deep personal impact it has on my state being and how ultimately I see myself - a powerful and loving conscious functional creator.

Be impeccable with your word - The doozy of an agreement and I personally have found it has been the most challenging to put into practice. I believe this agreement has a special place and in combination with the other agreements we have a potent tool for actualising personal power. My own experience of this agreement has been an interesting one and has its root in integrity and commitment. To be honest, I ALLOW (mostly unconsciously of course!)myself to slip up on this more than any other agreement (exercising always doing my best agreement as I write this!) but over the years whilst winging this agreement I have come to a place where my relationship to myself has improved drastically as I've compassionately turned down the volume of my inner critic and as I am less critical of myself through internal mental dialogue, i.e. using the word against myself, I eventually found myself doing the same outward to others and not using the word against them either. Experiences like gossiping are non-existent and anything I do say about a person if they are not present (aka behind their backs) is I am willing to tell them to their face if I have to, lovingly of course. If I am not willing to do it lovingly and with connection in mind then I usually will refrain saying anything and be patient until I am in the right energy. Where I have struggled but also have come leaps and bounds is being and keeping my word. This agreement highlights one's integrity and I have learned that it only serves to ONLY say what I truly mean. Easier said than done of course as I have list of things that I said I would do for others and haven't done them and that has its own set problems and conflicts that I am owning and rightfully making up for. MORE IMPORTANTLY though I believe the latter all stems from broken promises I made and the things I said I was going to do for MYSELF that I never/yet to follow through on knowing that they would serve me, bring me love, happiness, freedom and joy. It's the commitment to MYSELF that indicates how much I am in integrity with myself and then eventually others. That's why this agreement has become so crucial for me to keep and when doing so my life, my reality is experienced in the most rewarding way.

My relationship with these agreements and my practice of them… and I have been wanting to share what I have been up to in the last 6-7 years as I embarked on a journey of mastery, purpose and powerful authentic self-expression; The 4 Agreements is where it began. Through constant application they still continue to serve me as one of the greatest foundations for personal power in my life. As I learned to integrate them into my being along with many other powerful teachings and trainings like Totlec accessible at Creative Self Master, I realised what I love the most about all of this that my life is never a done deal, it can be changed, I can change and it's never EVER about trying to get it right, it really is about doing one's best and with that comes personal freedom and personal power.

Loving YOU,

Coach and Co-founder @ Creative Self Mastery

Meehir Patel

?? Jonathan Miller