Pathway to Inner Peace: 5 Things you can (possibly) let go of to clear the way.

Now that the year has now begun in earnest, life is back to juggling many demands and responsibilities. The freshness of the year is slowly fading but before the good intentions for 2019 are being swallowed up by the stresses and pressures of a busy life, here is a reminder of what you could let go of to lighten the load and pave the way to more inner peace.

1.      Write away Hurt and Anger: Who hurt, criticized or bullied you in the past? What still causes you to feel annoyed, offended or wounded? How would it be to feel free of these? The author of Writing to Heal, James W. Pennebaker, suggests the following practice to help put down life’s burdens: Set aside some time when things are calm and peaceful with pen and paper in your reach. Then let yourself remember one of the people in your life and everything that still rests painfully on your heart when you think of them. The harsh things they said, the unkind actions, the anger and hurt you still feel. The lot.  Set a timer for 20 minutes and write down all your thoughts and feelings, knowing that no one is going to read this, not even you. Don’t let your hand stop, keep writing. You might tie the experience to your childhood, your parents, and your life now, even your career. After 20 minutes stop, no matter what. Take the paper and with the clear intention to let go, destroy it. Repeat this for four consecutive days then don’t write any more, let it go. You may want to do this process with other people from your past but be sure to leave sometime between each of these exercises so that your inner peace can return a sustainable step at a time.

2.      Acknowledge Resentment:  We all harbour resentment about someone or something. And yes, you have a right to be angry when someone takes something from you that you considered yours or takes advantage of you or is inconsiderate. Resentment represents the hurt that follows this kind of injury. In fact, on a positive note,  it also shows that your moral compass is on track and you know what’s right and what isn’t for you; it confirms your boundaries. The first step when acknowledging resentment is to commit to doing no harm to the one who has harmed you. Don’t transfer your pain to them or anyone else. Instead, take ownership of your feelings. Maybe it’s time to speak up; let the person know (kindly) how you feel and (if ok with you) hear them out as well. Or, if this is not an option, set your inner compass to cultivate forgiveness and compassion and take conscious steps in that direction.

3.      Honour Shattered Dreams: It truly is hard when dreams shatter and your hopes for a particular future disintegrate. When a long held wish or vision fragments it can feel like the ground beneath the feet shifts suddenly and direction is lost. Coming to terms with shattered dreams is doubly hard when we feel it is someone else’s fault. But perhaps it’s true to say that hanging on to wishing that these dreams were still intact keeps us from making new ones. Honour what was and what was lost, make space for the feelings of loss and grief, hurt and anger. Share them with a friend or counsellor. Then let go, and let new dreams awaken. Draw, write, make mind maps and let your creative mind roam free and soon you will discover new possibilities.

4.      Let go of Self-doubt: Self-doubt is the troll inside your mind that gobbles up the goodness in your life. It eats achievement, chews happiness, consumes satisfaction and devours contentment. It disguises as caution or restraint, advice or timidity but ultimately drops its mask; just when you are about to take an optimistic step it steals away your courage. Letting go of self-doubt means learning to really back yourself. For better or worse, commit to be on your own team and resist the familiar pull to abandon your dreams, your wants and your hopes because of self-doubt. Let courage open inner doors to places of confidence and self-belief. Even if you ‘fail’ you will always feel good that you had your own back.

5.      De-Stress: If time and again you hear yourself think, feel or say: I am so stressed, I don’t know how to cope’ you need to re-evaluate. Being stressed in life is optional.  is the imbalance between demand and resources. Take a piece of paper , draw a vertical line though the middle and name one side ‘demands’ (for example; family, work, health) and the other side ‘resources’( for example rest, fun, exercise). Don’t censor what you write just put it all down in as much detail as you can. Sit back and consider your two sides. Take your time. When transforming a high stress to a low stress life there are three main things you need to consider: Choice, boundaries and courage. Choose only what is nourishing to you and your life, say yes to what serves you and no to what doesn’t and have the courage to back yourself all the way. With these three guidelines in mind go back to your list cross out what you want to let go of and add what you want to bring more of into your life. Be specific. Don’t discount the little things. Commit to your choices, a step at a time. If peace of mind is your yardstick in all your decisions you will soon live a more balanced life.

Sabina Rabold Director Well for Life

M Couns, Dip. Hom, DRM

CM AABCAP, PACFA Reg.

Counselling and Psychotherapy

Clinical Supervision

Training and Education

Director of Training AABCAP Professional Training Course 

Suite 2/35 Hume Street

Crows Nest NSW 2065

Australia

www.SabinaRabold.com 

 m: 0419 980 923