Path to Performance Part 3: The Ecstasy and the Agony

In this third and final installment of the “Path to Performance” series, we’ll conclude our personal exploration of the highs and lows of striving for excellence – both athletically and professionally. We’ll draw business parallels to Steven Bartlett’s “The Diary of a CEO” and personal themes akin to Irving Stone’s “The Agony and Ecstasy,” a biographical novel that vividly portrays Michaelangelo’s intense inner conflict between his artistic passion and the immense pressures he faced.

“I feel like cattle going through the chute,” I tell fellow USA Teammate, Carolyn, as we inch down to the wave start line. She smiles as widely as her new Rudy sunglasses, “I know. Except they don’t know what’s going to happen.” We do. All too well. This was Multisport Worlds Championships – a race that would test our mental and physical limits. Next to us was a Canadian. She was half my size, but twice as exuberant.? “Best of luck today,” I said. Pointing to her red and white Maple Leaf on her race kit, I shared, “My grandmother was from Nova Scotia.” In very broken English, suggesting she was more likely from Quebec or Montreal than my Nana’s home town, she said, “Good. Luck. Too. This is my first World. I wish you a perfect race for your life!”

Run 1, 10k (4 loops)

In a Wave of a few hundred women grouped by ages 19-49, it’s hard to jostle for position around the first turn, but I manage to do it and settle into my pace. Coach Holly thought my legs would feel fresh based upon our tapered training week and said I wouldn’t be surprised to be feeling great and look down and see a sub 7 minute per mile pace. 6:55, 6:58. I check my watch. 6:15. Yikes! But I felt great. Am I overshooting? Burning too many matches too early? Is this sustainable for over 6 miles? It nearly was, as I pushed 6:30 for all 6 miles, most of it alone. And the views were astounding. “I get to race HERE?” I asked myself.?

Allegra and Mike cheer more loudly with each successive loop until I’ve completed all 4 and make my way into transition. I picture Coach Holly checking the timing mat data. Funny that she’s a world away and a day behind and probably has a better indication of my performance in-the-moment via the app than I do. I’m simply going for it; we’ll worry about how it all sorts out later.

T1 (Transition 1)

Many transitions in life are hard. Racing is no exception, and I was aiming to have a fast one. I quickly locate my bike and bin among the racks and was surprised to see all other bikes racked – that meant that I was first in for the run and my competitors were still out on the first leg of the course. I have one of my fastest, best transitions yet, and in less time than given for the Final Question on Jeopardy, I’m biking through Townsville….

Bike 40k (2 loops)

…For a bit, until a car pulls out from a side alley onto the closed bike course right in front of me. With miles of race barricades in place, there is nowhere to move. I slam on my brakes, lifting my back wheel off of the ground, to avoid eating a bumper for breakfast. I was scared. I felt dizzy from adrenaline.? I screamed, “HEEEYYY!” “THIS IS UNSAFE,” grabbing the attention of both the course marshal and the male riders behind me on their second lap. The marshal, in high-visibility neon gear starts shouting at the driver to stop, flailing his arms like a human Roman candle. The car stops. I hear the screeching of brakes and voices behind me of the ten men that have caught up to me as we slow to pass the car, single-file, and get on with the race. How much time did that cost me? 2 minutes? I’m shaking. It felt like years and a blink at the same time. I try to re-focus on the 15 miles to the turn-around point.

On the bike course, which our team reconned earlier in the week, my legs are heavy. Though flat, there is headwind that makes me fight for each pedal stroke. My USA teammate passes me. I pass her. We continue this cat and mouse dance until the turn-around point when she shifts gears, hunkers down, and takes off like a bat outta hell. I pick landmarks to gauge when she passes them versus when I do and she’s roughly one minute ahead of me. Given my run performance, my overall race time may still have me in first.

Run 5 k (2 loops)

I cannot believe I am doing these loops again, but it's necessary and the only thing standing between me and finishing the race. I nearly match the pace I held for the first four. Thank goodness it's only two loops this time.

Blue Carpet

Two weeks prior to the race, Holly engaged me in a visualization exercise starting with crossing the finish line and writing every detail of the morning that had gotten me to that point. From there, we developed a few mantras that would help me focus when nerves got the better of me.

Towards the end of the of the run, almost delirious, all mantras forgotten, all I kept thinking about was the blue carpet leading to the finish line. “Blue carpet. Blue carpet. Where the f* is that blue carpet? In my house I’m going to have a room with blue carpet just to remember this day. Blue carpet.” (I admit, it seems funny now).

Bronze Blues and the Podium Paradox

I see my name displayed above the Finish Line and hear the Announcer say something about second US woman to cross the finish line as I sprint to the end and check my watch. 2:17. Not far from the 2:15 Holly predicted. “How does she do that?” I have no energy to even begin to think about her wizardry. I can only muster appreciation of it.

I’ve just earned third in the World! Two minutes behind my USA teammate, Kim, and five more minutes off the Aussie who took gold. I quickly find both athletes and congratulate them. “You gave me a run for my money on the bike,” Kim says, “and to know you did it on a road bike, too. Geeze.”

And there’s no time to take it in, I’ve a flight to catch. In less than an hour, I manage to:

●?????? Rush through the finisher shoot to meet Mike and Allegra, who is facetiming my parents. I smile and wave to assure them I’m safe and have finished what I’ve come to do!

●?????? Hop into an Uber, drive back to the hotel 2 miles away to shower and check-out.

●?????? Leave Mike and Allegra to pack their suitcases, while I Uber back to the venue to grab my bike from the athlete area that has just re-opened.

●?????? Nab our Team USA Manager and ask him to represent me at the medal ceremony later that night (how anti-climactic!).

●?????? Bike back to the hotel, dehydrated, starving, and exhausted, just in time to make arrangements with the bike mechanic to ship it home and catch the shuttle for the airport.

Settling into my seat with a glass of champagne, I take a deep breath. I think about our next adventure – we’re heading home for my little girl to start high school!

My dad texts. “How do you feel?”

Gosh that’s a tough one. It all comes out under the loose umbrella of a tension of opposites. I write as if I’m getting paid by the word, probably way more than he was expecting. Then again, he knows me.

“Ah! How much time do you have? I am so proud to have represented Team USA on the world stage and feel a mix of elation and disappointment. I have achieved a goal by just being here and have some raw and complex emotions that come with achieving something great that still falls short of my ultimate expectations.”

“I feel the tired, joy, relief, elated, grateful, miraculous, awe-inspiring feeling I had when Allegra was born. Buzzed in a way. My first run was epic and I love surprising myself. A headache from gaskets blown and waking up at 4 and not being able to go back to sleep.”

“I’m eternally grateful my body can do this and the fact that I love every minute of it. This is how I live a fulfilling life. How I set and achieve dreams. I’m grateful for your, mom’s, Mike’s and Allegra’s support. I made a lot of concessions to execute the training plan and I’m glad to be done…for now.”

“I was #1 in every race leading up to this one and I wanted to make it a full sweep. And like all top performers, I love the certainty of knowing where I stand. Had I not invested in this trip, I would be forever curious as to how I would perform against the best athletes.”

“I know Bronze is still a significant achievement. And this bronze feels very differently from the one earned in Denmark two years ago. This time, I was better, stronger, and a more experienced athlete. So why was the result the same? I wanted first. And I wanted that for Holly. I KNOW I was the better athlete.”

“I was the better athlete, and I still got third.”

“I know I must invest in a triathlon race bike, but I’m also prioritizing college savings. I feel like the car incident and my road bike were the only things keeping me from gold. You know I never make excuses, Dad, and like Bill Parcells says, ‘You are what your record says you are.’ So, I’m managing all that. Love you, see you soon.”

I’m glad he can’t see my tears and I wonder why I have them. I see the three ellipses indicating he’s writing.

“CONGRATULATIONS. Sounds insightful. You amaze us and we love you. Safe travels.”

Application to Business

●?????? In The Diary of a CEO, Steven Bartlett highlights the Law of Self-Acceptance: the importance of embracing where you are, acknowledging that while you may not attain every goal, you can still achieve significant things. Perfection is an illusion that can hinder true progress. Perspective shapes emotional responses and disappointment can coexist with pride. When have you embraced where you are when it’s not where you want to be?

●?????? Bartlett’s Pillar of Perspective and his Law of Continuous Improvement emphasizes the value of the process over the result. Growth is the real victory.? “The goal is the path.” Holly’s words echo in my mind. She shared this during our first coaching call so many months ago. Reflecting on the entire journey leading up to the World Championships, investing in a coach and training harder than ever before contributed to significant personal growth, even if the outcome wasn’t gold.

●?????? Finally, Bartlett’s Pillar of Gratitude emphasize the importance of gratitude for the opportunity to compete at this level. What growth experiences are you most grateful for and what lessons did you learn from them?

Conclusion: Embracing the Bronze

In Will Guidara’s Unreasonable Hospitality, he talks about the elements of a remarkable dining experience which go well beyond the meal to include ambiance, lighting, décor, music genre and volume, linens, and glassware. “People can feel perfection.”

To my fellow Canadian racer, I DID have the perfect race for my life. I hope you did, too.

?

Coach’s Corner

As a Coach, Jaime is a dream client. She puts in the work and she wants the results. I often say that I can’t want the goal more than my client. Thankfully, I do not have to worry about that with Jaime! This is why it’s challenging to celebrate all of the accomplishments this year and mourn the loss of an outcome. A challenging paradox, and one that I experience alongside Jaime.

?I strongly believe that it is essential to take time to celebrate our achievements, even when the outcome isn’t exactly what we’ve hoped for. Placing 3rd at the World Championships is a monumental achievement, and it’s crucial to recognize the hard work, dedication, and resilience that brought Jaime here.

?Top performers often experience a mix of emotions, including sadness, even after reaching significant milestones. This is a normal part of the journey, and it highlights how deeply invested we are in our goals. Just like in business, where leaders might feel a sense of loss or disappointment after a quarter of strong results but not hitting their ultimate targets, athletes too can grapple with mixed feelings. The pressure to always be at the top can sometimes overshadow the incredible effort that goes into achieving any podium finish.

?To help shift Jaime’s perspective (and maybe your own) towards satisfaction in what’s been accomplished even with a sense of grief at what was lost, consider the following prompts:

Resilience Reflection: What obstacles did you overcome this year that fill you with pride? Write them down (yes, really) and recognize your resilience.

Recognize the Skills Developed: What skills have you honed throughout this season that will serve you in future competitions? Acknowledge your growth.

?Focus on the Experience: What moments during the World Championship brought you joy or fulfillment? Think about the camaraderie, the thrill of competition, and the lessons learned.

Set New Goals: How can you take the lessons from this year and apply them moving forward? What new challenges excite you? (Note: Jaime and I are currently working on goal identification for 2025.)

?Remember, every step along the way contributes to your overall development as an athlete and a person. This is why I like to say, “The goal is the path.”