The path I took to discover my purpose in life

Time flies by, and when we are synced with the present moment, we might sometimes tend to forget the long way we came through, battles we took, changes we have implemented in our lives as well as our accomplishments that followed those changes.?

While I was reflecting on my personal journey recently, I noticed a pattern in the questions I have received from various people I have met lately. People were curious about my journey and asked me questions like: Have you always had a positive mindset and felt grateful? Were you always so calm?

The short answer is, no. Calm wasn't the word I would use to describe myself years ago. In fact, now looking back, I would say I was quite negative. This might even come as a surprise to those who know me well, but I felt like I was a failure most of the time. My inner judge was leading my life, I was extremely hard on myself as well as people around me.?

Back in 2015, I decided to make a change in my life and turn it around for the better. Today I am extremely proud of my achievements up until now, yet I do know there is no graduation from the school of life. There is always something new to learn and improve for us, and nobody is an exception. My intention here is to summarise my learnings so that this could spark something in the people who are ready to unlock their superpowers and come alive as I did.?

Your shadow is your inner teacher?

I grew up in a culture in which overachieving was highly promoted. I was always a good student, and generously rewarded for my achievements. When I got my first job, I knew I had to climb the career ladder as fast as I could so that I could live up to society's expectations from me or actually from that model child once I was.

Although many would see me as a successful person from the outside, I continuously felt that I was not good or successful enough. Things were just not perfect yet and there was always something more to achieve, learn, see, do or experience.?

Just before leaving Copenhagen to move to Berlin in 2015, I started to observe similar disruptive patterns in most of my relationships and figured all those were led by the parts of me that I was not very proud of. This made me reflect on this topic further, and I luckily stumbled upon some articles about shadow work while researching. It initially felt like a hard pill to swallow to learn that my inner saboteurs and the drivers behind my achievements could potentially be the same.?

Exploring and openly speaking about my shadow side as well as my fears; and facing my inner demons not only have been an eye opening experience but also helped me connect with the people around me in another new way. Doing shadow work was scary at first, but the feeling of truly understanding yourself and your triggers were just priceless. This did not only improve my relationships with others but also the relationship with myself.?

Slow steps take you further?

I started to work as a management trainee at a private bank when I was only 21. Since then I have chronically rushed through life: earned two master degrees, moved from one country to another, travelled around the world, got exciting jobs, then better jobs, promotions, more responsibility, more salary, further compensations…? However, these were not enough to feel happy and content.?

After my 30th birthday, I decided to quit my job without knowing what I would do next, and travelled to Chiang Mai, Thailand based on a friend’s recommendation. I was surprised to see how slow the life in the city was, and how happy, helpful and smiley the people were.?

This trip was the turning point of my mindfulness journey. After having interesting conversations about meditation and mind training with some monks of Chiang Mai, I started to experiment with mindfulness. My ultimate goal was to transform myself from a human doing to a human being. I did everything that I could do to slow down, relieve stress and raise my consciousness. Moreover, I stopped consuming fear focused media, eating meat and spending time with problem-oriented people. All these conscious steps I took helped me see a light at the end of the tunnel, although I had no idea what to do next for the first time in my life!?

Your superpower is waiting to be unlocked?

My passion towards Japanese culture is undeniable. Learning about the Japanese concept called IKIGAI shed light on how to clear the path to find my purpose. IKIGAI is a simple concept that makes one think about the intersection of four things: what you love, what the world needs, what you can be paid for, and what you are good at.??

I knew what I was good at and could be paid for; so what I had was a profession. However, the challenge was that my passion and personal mission was not always aligned with companies’. IKIGAI helped me think about my own mission, and how I could bring it together with my profession.?

The dots will be connected when the right time comes?

While the necessity and the importance of patience as well as perseverance is beyond doubt, I think it is also very important to have the trust that everything will eventually make perfect sense. Keeping this in mind, I did whatever brought me joy and stayed open to the opportunities that the future holds for me. On this note, I would like to quote Steve Jobs and conclude this article with my favourite part of his famous speech at Stanford University:?

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

Would you like to talk further about this? Please feel free to reach out to me at [email protected] and come join my 90 min free online purpose workshop on the 31st of January, 16:00 CET.

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