A Path Forward

Life as we know it is changing…..every day. Six months ago our entire world was disrupted, there was a disturbance in the force. We are living in a turbulent and tumultuous world, and it does not feel like the uncertainly is going away anytime soon.

It’s funny, anyone who was asked the question in 2015: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Really had no idea what was to come. It feels like no one was prepared, maybe we should have been? No one knew how to react, maybe we should, but this is new territory. We still don’t understand how to interact with each other, but maybe we should.

All of us feel the reverberating effects of numerous large scale changes that have affected how we live, work, and think about the world. It started with COVID-19. Then the stressors of race relations in this country. And all of this is encapsulated by the polarizing politics and economic affects that will cause irreparable damage for decades to come.

Uncertainty and ambiguity appear to be the biggest of issues most struggle with. Everyday there are decisions to be made, and we don’t understand whether those decisions will make our life better or worse. As human beings we are very calculating about our own utility (not to get too specific from the world of economics). Wrapping your head around this uncertainty has created situations that affect our mental health. Even Michelle Obama has identified as having a “low grade depression.” I think many of us can relate. Our collective mental health is certainly in decline, and the level of uncertainty is not getting better. Are our kids going back to school? How do we handle virtual school and work? When will COVID start to let up? When are jobs coming back? Will my budget support both eating and paying the electric bill this week? Is my job stable? This is a small sampling of the issues facing all of us everyday.

But I believe our world is shaped by one thing, and one thing only…..how we respond to things around us. To pull from the world of physics, we’re all particles in a world, interacting with each other, bumping into each other,trying to move in a common direction to improve our short lives. There are many things that could happen to us, some of them out of our control, like COVID-19, and some within our control, like how we respond to a facebook post of a particularly political post we may disagree with. There are responses that are reactive to the world around you, like switching up your shopping habits in a COVID world, and responses that are proactive, like making decisions to try something new. This latter point is one I want to focus on. 

So given that we make decisions every day, in the hopes of making the world, and specifically our personal world a better place, how do we do it? What can we do to ensure our collective success for ourselves, our children, and our future? How do we love our neighbor when they have a different political philosophy than we have? How do we bridge the uncomfortable conversations around race in this country collaboratively instead of creating more separation, division, and destruction? How do we generally move forward with optimism and leave doubt behind?

I have thought long and hard about how we move forward. How do we make a difference in our communities, with our neighbors, with our fellow employees, and with our families? There might be many answers, but in my mind the answer lies in serving others.

All of us are in a unique position to serve each other every day. We can do this without pretense, without judgment, and without regard to political affiliation. All of us are suffering. All of us want to feel united with each other. The path forward is to serve each other at every opportunity. To serve our communities, our families, our churches, our employers, and our neighbors consistently and with enthusiasm will get us through these times of uncertainty.  

“How can I help?” Should be part of our everyday vocabulary.

When a neighbor needs to run an errand, offer to watch their kids. When a colleague is struggling, offer advice and any help. When your significant other feels down, lift them up. When your community is low on blood, give blood. Most of us are inwardly focused, continuously focused on our own needs first, that is natural. Give what you can and when you can. It is not natural to focus on the world around us and look for those opportunities to help, however it can be the most fulfilling things we can do as humans.

Many of us do not naturally look for these opportunities. But when we do, we can fill the emotional buckets of our family, friends, employers and most of all community. I realize this is not a “hard skill” or something we can measure everyday. Even as I write the words, it feels a little hippy-ish. But the reality is our world is becoming more divisive every day. And we can do more than we think we can. Thinking about the world through the eyes of everyone interacting in a way that people serve each other, serving the needs of less fortunate, serving those that are struggling, serving those that have a different viewpoint than our own, can only make our world better.

Additionally, serving others can fill an internal need. Have you ever met someone that you think might be insanely lucky? I know I have, and sometimes that can lead to envy to understand how someone got to their lot in life. When I see this personally, or begin to feel this way, I always come back to a focus on serving others and understanding how I can help in any situation. Immediately I feel better. Somehow helping fills an intrinsic need, a bucket to be filled. But then I feel my “luck” start to change. It’s strange, because acts of unselfishness might actually be selfish? 

I admit I do not face the same challenges as some. I have been fortunate to work with a terrific company, have an extremely supportive wife and family, and while recent events have offered me new ways of thinking about the world, I have not had to suffer as so many have. But it does not lessen the stress, the burdens, and uncertainty all of us face every day. And in this time, I continue to focus on how I might serve others better, how can I be a better husband, a better leader, a better neighbor? There are numerous ways, and I am not perfect, but I can always strive to be better…..all of us can.