A Path Forward

We need to seriously rethink our relationship with mistakes. Most of us grasp, at least superficially, that mistakes offer opportunities for learning. But what we often fail to appreciate is just how central—how absolutely necessary—mistakes are in our journey of growth and adaptation. You see, from our mid-20s onward, mistakes aren’t just learning tools; they’re the primary means by which we can trigger our brain’s neuroplasticity—our capacity to rewire and improve our mental circuitry.

Neuroplasticity is the process by which your brain changes and adapts. It’s the very thing that allows you to become smarter, more adept, and more capable. How does it happen? Not by simply doing things right, but by making a prediction, taking an action, and realizing that prediction was wrong. Mistakes are the mechanism through which your brain becomes more attuned to reality. This is not a trivial observation—it’s profound. But it’s not the entire story.

On the flip side, we also know that mistakes lower performance. Peak performance involves precision and control—few errors, if any. So, this raises a crucial question: How do we balance the need to make mistakes for growth with the need to avoid them for performance?

The answer is to develop a more nuanced understanding of mistakes themselves. I’ll break this down into four distinct types, and each of them has something vital to teach us.

First, there are stretch mistakes. These are the mistakes you make when you’re pushing your boundaries, attempting things you haven’t yet mastered. These happen in what we call the Learning Zone, and you need to make them. Not by aiming to fail, but by striving toward challenges that are just beyond your current capabilities. It’s a necessary discomfort. But note—these are mistakes we want to make in low-risk environments, where the fallout is minimal.

Second, we have the high-stakes mistakes. These are the ones that carry serious consequences. In situations like performing surgery, driving a school bus, or packing a parachute, errors are costly and potentially catastrophic. In these scenarios, you shift to what we call the Performance Zone, where you focus on doing what you already know works. You minimize mistakes because the stakes are too high for experimentation.

Third, we come across the sloppy mistakes. These are the avoidable errors we make when we do something incorrectly that we’ve already mastered. Sometimes, these mistakes are harmless—like spilling your smoothie. You laugh it off, learn from it, and move on. But sometimes, sloppy mistakes reveal something deeper: perhaps you weren’t focused, or maybe the system you’re using is flawed. These moments, when approached with reflection, can offer valuable insights into how to improve your process or sharpen your focus.

Finally, there’s the a-ha moment mistake. This occurs when you execute something as planned, only to later realize that it was the wrong plan altogether. Imagine trying to solve your partner’s problem when all they needed was empathy and understanding. These mistakes are precious because they reveal a hidden truth. You can’t plan for them, but when they occur, treasure them—reflect, and extract the deeper lesson they offer.

Now, a word of caution—don’t weaponize these distinctions. What you might view as a sloppy mistake, someone else could see as a stretch mistake or an a-ha moment. The point is to approach mistakes with curiosity, humility, and collaboration. If we create an environment where people fear making mistakes, they’ll withdraw into a chronic Performance Zone, and growth will stagnate.

So here’s the call to action: Embrace mistakes. Aim for that uncomfortable stretch zone where growth lives. Create spaces where you can fail safely, reflect on your errors, and most importantly, avoid the temptation to punish yourself or others for them. Learn to differentiate the nature of your mistakes, and by doing so, unlock the incredible potential for transformation within you.

Ask yourself: Are you ready to grow, or will you remain paralyzed by the fear of failure?