Path to Discovery of Core Values

The question of who am I? Why am I here? What can I contribute? Have all been swirling in my head since I can remember.?I think it is similar for most people. At times in my life, my knowing self would laugh at my wavering self, being so certain of the answers to these questions. At other times, I found myself desperately searching for my life's meaning and purpose.?The path to finding what I am capable of in this one precious life. What I do know, every damn day, is I am built to contribute, and it is what makes me happy.?The "knowing" one's self is a tremendous and vital lifelong journey for all of us.?Knowing who I am and my purpose is as important to me as almost anything in my life. I owe it to myself to keep discovering?me, as?I am my greatest journey so that I can fully give back to the world. I want to share some of this with you as it may be where you are as well.?

I keep coming back to core values as the foundation of re-inventing myself, self-discovery, understanding, and hopeful knowing of who I am. Knowledge to help me know myself more? Yes, please. Anytime I run across an exercise to identify my core values, I jump in with eagerness.??I have taken so many assessments and to be honest, gotten a bit more confused with most of them.?So. Many. Words... I think a lot of these exercises are so overcomplicated they become deflating.?I found one, however, that has worked through and through.?It has helped some of my coaching clients, friends, family, and myself. It's pretty simple. It seems like it won't work, but it does every time. Even when I take all the other quizzes or complete the exercises, they always point back to what I found with the simple little path I learned from the wisest woman I know...my mom.?

Want to know the easiest, most trusted way??Grab a pen and paper.?Mom says to write down at least 5 of your role models in your life.?They can be intimate and known to you or someone you've never met in person. Like Oprah, Steve Jobs, and others.??That part doesn't matter. What does matter is to know the why behind your feelings about them being your role model or someone you highly regard and respect. So on your paper write the person's name on the left and what attributes, qualities, or characteristics you admire, respect, or love on the right side of the paper. Let me walk you through one of mine.?

One of my role models is my Grams, Helen.?To tease her we call her Hell Hell. She raises "hell" by being witty, spunky, and taking no shi*t! What I love about her is she is all those things above, and she is so caring, helpful, loving, giving, graceful, and gracious.?She is a wonderful teacher, she is strong, leads with gentleness, and is also fun and can put a smile on your face or laugh in your belly at a moment's notice. She sounds pretty great, right? She is!?To capture what it is about Grams that resonates with me from this list, I need to identify the main quality or characteristic and the reason why it stands out to me.?The attribute that makes me love her the most is her spunkiness. She is living life to her own beat and won't be apologizing for it anytime soon.?She knows she has light within her to give to the world and no one will stop her. As I grew into the woman I have become, this shaped me to form confidence, courage, and self-assuredness. If I were to sum that up into one word it would be confident.?

On your paper, work through this with the role models you have identified. Once all the role models and descriptions are written down about what is admired about each of them, work to find one word that summed up what it is that is the primary characteristic that resonates with you. In other words, what is the headliner for this person? Courage, humor, trustworthiness, love, innovation, or something else? Once that is narrowed down, Mom says to test it.?Think about key moments in your life that align with the "headliner" words you chose to describe your role models.?Can you identify a non-negotiable being etched into your heart and mind??For instance, Hell Hell's spunkiness was vital as I grew into a woman who has natural abilities to lead.?So Grams and other role models influenced my belief systems, standards, and values when it comes to leading and I believe confidence, courage, and self-assuredness are necessary and not negotiable when leading.?You can lead scared, but you still must be spunky enough to do it anyway!?

Below my core values are detailed with the "headliner" and additional descriptors that support or describe the behaviors that make up who I am and what I believe.?

Core Values: Brandi Von Tabor?

J.A.L.I.P.P

Justice

Honesty, truth, trust, good, balance, humanity, responsibility, respect, honor, liberty, freedom, equality, fairness, inclusion, opportunity, dependability, reliable

Authenticity

Real, approachable, trustworthy, open, dependable, reliable, committed, aligned, unapologetically you, strong, brave, courageous, wise, evolved, pure, tangible, accountability, self-control control, awareness, strength

Love

Compassion, caring, open-hearted, respect, humanity, empathy, curiosity, agile, sharing, giving, positive, fun, good, pure, togetherness, connection, collaboration, helpful, grace, awareness, belonging,?

Innovation

Freedom, creativity, ideation, pioneer, leader, growth, progression, courage, vision, adventurous, smart, hardworking, possibility, limitless

Purpose

Confidence, initiative, intelligence, wisdom, evolution, standards, values, why, progress, evolve, sharing, teaching, awareness, resilience, mission, relevance, uniqueness, structure

Positivity

Humor, fun, witty, adventure, grace, curiosity, connection, opportunity, possibility, badass, contribution, belief, hope, happy, joy, uplifting, inspiring, presence, grounded,

?I am often asked if core values are permanent.?If you are 25 years old and discovering your values, will they stay the same at age 45? My answer would be they are semi-fluid.?Just as setting a pole in concrete typically will hold it in place and fastening paper with a glue stick eventually will come apart with even slight pressure, the "stick-to-it-ness" of the core values depends on the method of the affixing. How deep did this belief travel into your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and core? We must remember we are human and constantly evolving.?So we will need to flex and continue to discover the depths of who we are.?What I have found is this exercise has worked for me through my journey and hopefully it will for you too.?

Please share yours with me or continue the conversation at?[email protected] . Remember you have a mighty purpose in the world. Only you are you, so live your moments with your head held high. Good luck on your path to you, it's the wisest and most rewarding path you can take.?

-Brandi