The Path To Better Habits

Last week I spoke about how to work out who you want to be, and how to build the behaviours that embody that identity. Using a tool called Energy, Work and Love. (If you haven’t done the work or read the blog, I would recommend doing it before continuing with this. As doing the exercises is what will make the difference.)

So now that we have the habits we want to build, the big question is how do we make these habits… habits!

Which is what today's blog is all about. And if you master building good habits and breaking bad habits it will be the most effective thing you can do.

Your habits will determine your future.

The first thing to understand about habit building is that identity change is the north star of habit change. If you don’t know who you want to become, nor have a burning desire to become that person, habit change is very difficult. Which is why it is so important to run through the Energy, Work and Love exercise.

James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, (a must read by the way) tells us:

Your identity is not fixed. Your identity is made up of your repeated actions (your proof). Which YOU have power to change. You have a choice in every situation. And by consistently choosing actions aligned with who you want to become, the more you reinforce the behaviours associated with that identity.

Want to be a writer… write more. Want to be an entrepreneur… read more.

It can be that simple! So before I move on, “Who do you want to be?” get clear on it.

The best way to explain how to build a habit is to explain how I built the habit of waking up at 5am. Which, till building the habit I considered myself as ‘not a morning person’ and would snooze for hours most days.

But at the start of 2018, having read ‘The 5am club’ I was determined to build the habit of waking up at 5am. I had a burning desire to change my identity - from ‘not a morning person’ to an athlete and entrepreneur - to someone who seized the day. And I knew that to allow me to start each day in creative mode. I needed more time awake when everyone else was asleep.

Step one - change your environment and make it easy.

In this example, I left my alarm outside of my room, which I could only turn off by solving three maths equations (using the app Alarmy - its epic by the way). I would even leave a note for myself by my alarm, reminding myself why I was trying to build this habit.

The same can be done for wanting to eat healthier - change your environment and make it easy. Clear your fridge of anything unhealthy and fill it with fruit and veg. Want to read before bed, leave your book on your bed as a reminder.

Step two is to have a forward plan.

I soon found that walking and solving three maths equations was not enough if I didn't have a plan on waking. If I didn’t know what I was doing next I would often go back to bed. The key is in getting granular with the cascade of events that follow. Writing down exactly the details of the action or habit. You will see an event in my calendar every day between 5-6.30am that says “wake, stretch, sweat, breathwork, shower’ - no thinking or motivation needed. I know exactly what to do once I have turned my alarm off.

The same can goes for wanting to eat healthier, make a food plan - get granular. Want to read more or meditate, schedule them in your diary.

Step three - reward the behaviour.

For me waking early allowed me time to make nice bowl of porridge and coffee whilst sitting outside enjoying some tranquility. I also future paced a good habit vs a bad habit - to create awareness of the inherent reward of building a positive habit. For example, snoozing two hours a day (which I was doing) five times per week works up to a total of nearly 22 days per year. So by waking just 2 hours earlier, I was getting 22 extra days into my year!

Step four - make it easy.

Diving straight in to waking at 5am would have been a huge shock and I would have likely got frustrated and given up. So instead I gradually woke up earlier every two weeks.

Start small. Set the bar low.

Want to read more, aim to read one page a day. Want to start meditating, meditate for 2 mins every day.

Additionally trying to start too many habits at any one time will have you feeling overwhelmed and defeated. So start with one at a time initially. And once your self discipline improves, then you’ll be able to tackle a few at a time. Till then, just one!

Step five - keep score.

If you are not reflecting and tracking your habits it is very hard to keep momentum. I track my habits every Sunday, writing down those I want to keep, improve, stop and start. Building habits never stops, it's a continuous process of improvement. And if you’re not tracking, you’re guessing. (Download my weekly planner here)

And finally, embrace the struggle.

Building habits is hard. Research tells us it takes on average 66 days to build a habit. And in that time, we will be bombarded with decisions and temptations that will seem far more rewarding in the short term.

But your stickwithitness (is that a word…) will be worth it. The compound effect of building small positive habits have exponential results in the long run.

I write that looking back on the last 2 years, knowing that building the habit of waking up at 5am has made me calmer, fitter, healthier, smarter, more focussed - quite simply a better person. And the idea of building that habit came from building the habit of reading more.

See, what may seem like a small change now will lead to a whole cascade of positive behavioural changes.

So get clear on who you want to be, change your environment, build a plan, reward yourself, make it easy, keep score and never stop improving.

That’s a blueprint of a better life right there!

But don’t just read this, action it. Work out what one habit you want to build that is linked to the person you want to become, and work through each five steps above - then action, action, action.

I’d love to hear how you get on. And if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me or DM me on Instagram.

Good luck and see you next week!

Big love,

Joel