Paternity - The ups and downs

Let's get the baby out Tomorrow, let me know what time works for you !!

This is what the doctor told us well into the start of the 7th month of our pregnancy. That changed our lives forever. After-all, this was a difficult time for us to be pregnant - What with us starting this journey at the start of the second wave, imagine going to our first scan to a lab that was a testing centre for Covid (we had 3 layers of protective wear with a PPE). There were complications that made us pre-pone the delivery by several weeks to avoid worst outcomes

Pregnancy is an adventurous journey for a couple, I learnt a great deal on the needs of a woman during this time and wanted to help my wife every step of the way, simple things like keeping her fed with her favourite food to keeping a tab on her nutrition and the monthly and sometimes weekly doctor check-ins. Luckily she was on a work break which was planned earlier and I had to work in parallel and keep up on the pregnancy journey. It was getting harder and harder with each passing month , what with work getting intense and the treatments getting even more intense.

I am blessed to be working for a company that was very supportive and had colleagues who stepped up and were ready to fill in for meetings that i couldn't make it.

While there is no denying that pregnancy is a re-birth for every woman, There is little discussion about the emotions that the men go through. It is difficult to see the person you love go through so much and it definitely affects us physically and mentally as well. There were days when I felt emotionally strained, physically weak and all i wanted to do is nap it out. Thanks to family & friends , I had a firm support system.

Once we delivered, I stayed with the wife from the day 2 to help her on her chores at the room and stayed up all night to care for her, after all - This is the least a husband can do when the wife is reborn. I didn't know on where i got the courage ,but I feel dizzy whenever i visit hospitals and this time i didn't blink an eye the whole time.

Considering my son was pre-mature he had to spend almost a month at the NICU and I had to carry food for him everyday and not once did i miss an opportunity to see him. It is procedure for the mother to give a skin-to-skin therapy to the newborn to ensure growth and considering all mothers may not be in a position to travel or sit-up for long durations, The fathers were allowed to give this therapy to their children. I met a father who had brought food for his new born daughter but had to rush back as he was out of his paternity leaves and had to re-join work. I off-course took time and also planned in a way to spend lunch hour at the hospital to spend time with my son.

The first year after birth is all about follow-up visits to the hospitals, vaccinations , sleepless nights , baby cries and a lot of emotional ups and downs, The father and mother both go through this in their own ways. While the women get care through family, The fathers are often ignored. In today's time of micro-joint families both parents need strong emotional support during this life event. Many organisations just have a few days of paternity leaves, This definitely needs to change and be atleast half of our maternity leave benefit if not more.

This is just my take on this subject and not intended to hurt anyone. Due respect and wishes to all parents and soon-to-be-parents in here.