PASTORS, HAVE DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS

by Cheston Pickard

Many folks may not remember the first time they were introduced to the importance of biblical ecclesiology, but I certainly do. I was studying pastoral ministry during my undergrad in Virginia while attending a local church that modeled a particular homiletic that caught my attention: expositional preaching. In fact, the first Sunday I attended, the church was concluding a sermon series through Zephaniah.

I began to sniff around and ask tons of questions. I grabbed as many coffees as I could with a faithful pastor who led a healthy church because he could explain some things—finally, someone with some theology I could sink my teeth into! I’ll never forget the moment when my mind was absolutely blown. The conversation went like this:

Me: Well, I have loved attending the church. The people are amazing, and I truly believe the Lord is growing me here. My wife feels the same way.

Pastor: Great! I’m glad to hear that. It’s been good to have you guys around.

Me: I mean, I’m grateful to have found a pastor that truly cares about the way he handles the Word of God.

Pastor: So, are you guys planning to join?

Me: Uh, I’d like to, but I’m not too sure. Honestly, I’m not really worried about that right now.

Pastor: Well, look, I love that you are benefitting from the sermons and I’m glad to have you guys around. You’re always welcome at the church. But, here’s the thing: If you’re not a member of the flock entrusted to me, then I’m not your pastor.

Me: [silence]

I was shocked, angry, and even offended by such a statement. My mind was racing. Who does this guy think he is? I just praised this pastor and gave him a 5-star review. He should be thanking me! Now I’m getting stiff-armed and left outside the camp like a leper? How unloving! This is a church for crying out loud!

And let me get this straight: I must succumb to your way of church before I’m “accepted” and graced with your pastoral approval?

I left the meeting disheartened and irritated. Once I calmed down, I replayed the conversation in my mind over and over. Truth be told, no pastor had ever spoken to me like that. I had been in churches all my life, but I had never experienced fences—especially due to the issue of membership. In fact, I couldn’t remember a time in my past when membership ever really mattered.

So I demanded answers. This pastor needed to explain himself. Thankfully, he was happy to oblige and began to unpack his statement, and I was eager to listen.

Here’s what I learned from this ecclesiological landmine:

LOCAL CHURCH MEMBERSHIP IS MORE THAN CHURCH ATTENDANCE

Of course attendance matters, but a biblical understanding of church membership transports Christians into a realm of focusing less on themselves and more on loving others. I no longer attend church simply to bolster my own personal walk with Christ; I gather with other Christians to “spur” and encourage the saints—by singing together, praying together, worshiping together, opening God’s Word together, living in community, living on mission together, and displaying the glory of God together (Heb. 10:24–25). Membership is a commitment to see others flourish in Christ.

And if we’re honest: it’s legitimately possible to attend church, slipping in and out for years and years, without ever considering membership and missing out on love and accountability.

LOCAL CHURCH MEMBERSHIP REQUIRES A FORMAL COMMITMENT AND FELLOWSHIP AMONG A SPECIFIC GROUP OF CHRISTIANS

In a sense, membership entails a knowledge of “who’s who?”

1. Who are the repenting believers of the true gospel with a credible profession of faith?

2. Have they followed Christ in baptism?

3. Do they agree with our confession of faith?

4. Do they agree to covenant together?

5. Church membership doesn’t exist to divide “these” people from “those” people. It exists to guard the gospel of Jesus Christ, the purity of biblical teaching, and the unity of the saints. If anyone can come in and out as they please, then a church is simply opening itself up to dangers.

LOCAL CHURCH MEMBERSHIP REVEALS THE SCOPE OF THE PASTOR’S RESPONSIBILITY

Should pastors be responsible for the discipleship of every single person that walks into the building on a Sunday morning? Will they be held accountable by God for every person who listens to the church’s podcast? No, pastors are responsible for their flock, those who have been entrusted to them (1 Pet. 5:1–4).

And who is the flock? Those who have joined the church through formal church membership. For instance, I can’t just walk into any high school biology class and say, “Mr. Smith, your teaching is amazing! I think I’ll stay. I love the atmosphere here.” I’m too old and I don’t meet the requirements. I’m not registered as a student. I haven’t been assigned to any teacher. I’m not Mr. Smith’s responsibility and will rightly be escorted off the premises (perhaps even get a free ride to the police station).

Pastors are the shepherds of a particular flock. If I’m not a member of that flock, then those pastors aren’t my pastors.

CONCLUSION

By God’s grace, if it weren’t for a faithful pastor speaking truth in love in the most opportune moment, there’s a good chance I’d now be blindly leading other blind men directly into error. Thankfully, truth prevailed and led me on a journey to continually seek God’s directives and plans for his people. Biblical ecclesiology crumbled my world, but it also built me up again.

This article first appeared in => https://www.9marks.org/article/pastors-have-difficult-conversations/