Pastoral approaches as an educator in 2022

Pastorally, there is much I wish to improve on as a teacher this year (2022).

In the past, when I thought there could be undesirable attitudes and behaviours to correct, I could be pretty self-righteous and judgmental. It is reasonable for a teacher to intervene when inappropriate or unacceptable behaviours arise, but the approach can be thoughtfully determined. The chosen approach reflects many things about a teacher, including how they view a student, how much they value the relationship with the student, what the teacher thinks would work best in the area of student discipline, and the teacher’s personal principles and values.?

Relationship with the student was not the top priority in my mind in the past. I saw my job as a teacher in terms of its role and function. When it came to student discipline, my task was to do just that— discipline the student. To me, it was not important whether the student would agree with the way I did so. His or her feelings were less important than the main goal at hand, which was to correct the behaviour. I was usually quite direct in addressing what was wrong with the behaviour because I tended to be quite a truthful and honest person. This was before I actively started reflecting about better, less hurtful and more respectful ways of communication.?

I used to have quite a high standard of personal discipline for students. This could be in the areas of managing impulsivity, being respectful to teachers and peers, being organised and self-directed in their learning, and taking ownership over their progress and mistakes. I was quite responsible and mature when I was in school around my students’ age, though that did not translate to early adulthood for a number of factors. As I grew up in quite a secure family and learning environment, for a long time I believed that if students were not disciplined, it was because they lacked the desire to be so and chose not to be so. As I may not have gone through some of the personal challenges faced by the students, I tended to make assumptions about their character and choices. Consequently, following this train of thought which could be erroneous, I could be pretty critical in my judgments of their actions and harsh in my choice of words to them. Considering the student as a complex being who could be managing a myriad of tensions on the home and school fronts, or more, was not one of my top priorities.?

But 2021 prompted me to take a hard inward look at some of my more rigid and unsympathetic approaches in student discipline.?

I started teaching a different age group at Sunday school. They were energetic, vivacious and could be participative. However, I did not feel comfortable using the discipline approaches I would adopt in school. Sunday school was meant to be a different environment, where children could feel a little more relaxed and free than in their Primary schools. When there was a lack of discipline, I did not feel that I should scold the child. I felt bad when I did so. I went through a gradual process to feel this way, but the main point was that I felt convicted that Sunday school should be a loving and welcoming environment.

As I sought to see each child for who they were, and tried to recognise that there could be tensions beneath the surface that they could be struggling with and which I did not know about, I started giving them some space and room for error. I still addressed behaviours that were undesirable, but I did not try to correct the behaviour there and then. I tried consciously to speak to the child privately. While I might not always have managed this, I found that when I spoke to a child one-to-one, they could be reasoned with. They could be guided to see and understand how a particular behaviour was not the most considerate, or did not present their best self. I found that I could get a sincere agreement from the child to commit to do better in a particular behaviour the next time. Intermittently, even as I was not intentionally following up, I witnessed progress in behaviour. I think speaking to children one-to-one and reasoning with them, work.?

Inevitably and indirectly, this gradually shifted my ethos and principles as a school teacher too. Discipline was not just about maintaining standards in a cold and rigid fashion. Students can find it within themselves to be intrinsically motivated to be more disciplined, if they can see for themselves how being disciplined helps them to be better. They do not need to be shamed into being more disciplined. They do not need to be made to feel bad for falling short.?

The 2nd catalyst that prompted me to rethink my approach to student discipline in 2021 was the increased focus on the mental health of our young. The pandemic brought about new stresses and robbed youth of many experiences that could have been helpful in building up their confidence and resilience. With greater focus on this issue and the increase in awareness-raising and knowledge of the specific challenges that young people go through, I naturally shifted my mindset to view a student as a whole person. As a whole person, their health and human dignity mattered. Even in the face of immaturity and irresponsibility, and at times the scary projection of how these flaws may be accentuated in their futures; this shift in my mindset would cause me to take a step back, hold my tongue and keep my actions in check. I did not want to be the teacher to push any student over the edge. I did not want to cause any irreparable damage through my words and actions. Some scars though invisible, can last for a really long time.

Hence this year, I hope to be a lot more mindful in being slower to speak and quicker to offer my students the benefit of the doubt. When they do show sincerity in change, I want to be quick to forgive. I want to remain hopeful that there can be leaps and bounds in their character progress, because love always believes in the best and in one’s fullest potential. I want to respect them as whole persons, deserving of positive mental and emotional health, and human dignity. They can be reasoned with and guided to see how having discipline helps them to grow and be better. ?