Past-forward or future-in?

Last week was the grand?finale?of the saga of consolidating two homes into one and moving into Coimbatore as a full-time resident. There is a whole book to?be written?about the trials and tribulations associated with managing the various workmen?who are?associated with?moving a home - packers, carpenters, plumbers, electricians...

For three years, we have had two full-fledged homes.?This?means we had two of everything - from washing machine to dining tables, pots and pans to curtains, and everything in between.

I used to be an avid collector of artifacts, buying what seemed unique in every country I visited, cherishing each piece and?the memories they held. My?huge?collection?was whittled away?by maids with butter fingers and the salty air of my seaside home in Chennai, but it was still sizeable.?Filling?the attic of one room.

Rangaraj is a true-blue packrat.?Our attic held accessories from our?very?first car and washing machine to instruction manuals for instruments we no longer own,?a large?range of spares that 'may come in handy one day',?to?electronics and mobile phones that are obsolete.

We had agreed that we both needed to throw stuff. I thought I would do a Marie Kondo on our stuff, I thought logic would?prevail. I discovered that when it comes to 'letting?go' it is not the logical mind that comes into play, it is the irrational one that dominates. Add to it Rangaraj's innate frugality and good habit of reusing and recycling, and?his strong 'sunk-cost' mindset...

Oh,?let us not talk of who held on to stuff more irrationally - we both had our share.?With me, it was my collection of MAD magazines, my books and my collection of curtains! With Rangaraj, it was his obsolete electronic stuff and the many boxes of nails and odds and ends.

It was going nowhere, we?were sitting amongst boxes and boxes of 'stuff' in a lovely large house, unable to move on to the next stage of?actually?living and enjoying our move.

Marie Kondo was wrong when she said to give away anything that didn't spark joy. The things we wanted to hold on to still sparked joy in us. Memories and nostalgia, the?belief that 'there will be a day when this will be needed' meant that nothing was ready to?be thrown out.

So?I?formulated some new rules. Age-appropriate rules. Future-appropriate rules. Lifestyle-appropriate rules.

Do I want to display loads of?stuff,?and take on the pain of keeping it dust-free and well-preserved? Dust and my allergies don't go well together.

Will I be cooking and hosting food for large gatherings in the future? Nope,?haven't?been 'cooking' for large gatherings. We have moved to pot-luck long?ago,?or have the meal catered to.

How often have we used the 'spare spare' in the years?that we?have held on to them? Never.

We both are on either side of 60.?This move,?despite paid support and help from Ashwin, took a toll on our health.?

The less we have in the future, the easier the next move. We do not want to be people tied to 'one home forever'.?Our next move, whenever that is, should entail minimal effort. Therefore, declutter now.

And so on.?Net net,?we have thrown out and given away what seemed like half our belongings.?Many of them sparked a lot of joy, so we allowed each other a minute to celebrate the memory!

Why are you sharing this?Usha? I want to remind all of us that we hold on to stuff like Usha and Rangaraj do.?

We clutter our space,?our minds, and our?hearts with people, memories, thoughts, and?of?course?material possessions that no longer serve us.?

They take up space, space that is best left open and airy, space that can be used for the new, allowing it to be filled with light and air, new ideas and fresh beginnings!

Usha and Rangaraj were?making decisions?to 'hold on' to stuff based on the past. And beliefs of the?future,?based on past data, experience, past habits, and past lifestyle.

But when we shifted the lens, we allowed ourselves the clarity of 'future-in'.?We were able to evaluate what we needed, and?what we didn't, based on how we wanted to live our life from now on, the future we want. And that is how we have started this journey of de-clutter.

Psst: I have hidden some books from Rangaraj, he?has hidden his treasure trove of nails and odds and ends from me.

#declutter #bringinthenew #lettinggo #change #pastvsfuture #beliefs #mariekondo #sparkjoy #personalgrowth #sunkcost