PASSING DOWN A 3F LEGACY TO THE NEXT GENERATION THROUGH HERITANCE DIGITAL

2022 is designated the Year of FAMILY. Minister of Social and Family, Mr Masagos, introduced the National Family Week as an annual event in the month of June. Parents can now have the chance to plant a tree to celebrate the birth of their child.

These are all very good initiatives. Beneath the celebratory tone of the announcement, we know this is an overdue “whole of society” movement meant to reverse very worrying demographic trends of declining marriage, low birth rate, increasing divorce rates and aging population.

But that’s not all. There are more insidious trends affecting the family – consequently social fabric of Singapore faster than demographic trends. ?Let me share 5 of them.

Pessimism. Concern about the future. A Pew Research survey shows that 56% of young adults are not willing to have children, citing climate change and state of the world as key reasons. ?

Materialism. In a digital payment and property boom coupled with economical hardship, household debts and credit card debts are also climbing fast.

Decline of faith. The 2020 Population Census shows a marked decline of Singaporeans turning away from faith – the traditional source and influence of personal values.

Rising domestic conflict & divorce. The lockdown of 2020-2021 is a stress test that many Singaporean families failed in. More couples are turning to counsellors and professionals to settle domestic conflicts or dissolve their marriages.

Stress and Mental Health. A 2020 Singapore Business Review reported that Singaporeans clocked the 2nd longest work hours in the world. Youth suicide rate is also on a rise.

Our children and next generation are pessimistic about the future, more materialistic, religionless, more estranged and more stressed. I encourage all of us to read Mr Lim Siong Guan, the former Head of Civil Service and the founder of Honour Singapore, on his address on the Rise and Fall of Empires. Are the 5 indicators above signaling that Singapore in indeed in the Age of Decadence?

Quoting Mr Masago’s speech, “Strong families are the bedrock of our society….. We want to celebrate our strong, intergenerational family bonds…. to serve as a reminder of the role that families play in our lives through the seasons.” I pray that the National Family Week initiative is not merely an event on the national calendar, but a strategic impetus to drive family solidarity in Singapore, which in turn strengthen our national solidarity. ????

Therefore, at the family front, we have a strong mandate to sow a legacy of Family, Faith and Finance into the next generation. And we can do so through a strong inheritance plan. That's the motivation behind the new local startup heritance Digital (www.heritance.org)

Family Inheritance is Foundation

When I read the FamilyTree initiative in June, I immediately identified with heritance’s logo and mission. Yes, we are proverbially speaking, “barking up the RIGHT tree”! heritance is the old English word for inheritance and heritage. Founded by a bunch of family lovers, we are a digital platform designed with mission to strengthen intergenerational unity through better family inheritance and heritage.

The tree is almost an universal imagery of family, legacy and generations. And it’s all in our logo. A Tree with Chinese ideogram of family as the root. It’s also about believing in a better tomorrow. Hard to see when the world is in the midst of a global climate, health, food and a looming global recession.

As Christians, what can we do then to steward the resources available to our generation, sow the right values into the next generation and create the 30-, 60-, or 100-fold flourishing in successive generations. ??

Why is it important to leave a legacy of Family, Faith and Finance? How can we do that?

First, Family inheritance. This means passing down meaningful family relationships.

There is a saying: What is worth accumulating is worth passing down.

For most of us, sibling and parent are two longest relationships we “accumulate” the most in our lifetime. And they defines a big part of our attitude and personality more than we realize. And they are certainly worthwhile and beneficial to pass down to our children when we are no longer around.

Where relationship is concerned, there is a big difference between legal relationship versus emotional relationship. My brother and my child are related legally but how far are they emotionally related? Have I connected them on a regular basis? Do they engage in meaningful conversations during family gatherings? Many of us name our sibling as the guardian of our children in our Will. The guardian/ward relationship is legally effective but would a child obey a near-stranger who only comes into his life only after his father’s demise?

Similarly, we can name our sibling to be our Will executor holding on our assets until the time our children mature. This trustee/beneficiary relationship is legally effective. But will there be genuine trust in the minds of the beneficiary? As a result, these legal arrangements are frequently strained and ineffective.

The truth is families are increasingly divided by poorly managed inheritance planning. Have you known friends or relatives who are estranged from their families when someone pass away? In Australia, 86% of Wills contested in the courts are immediate family members. A Singapore-based consultancy survey shows that 67% of trust beneficiaries continue to fight with each other.

So many family inheritance feuds that we ask if “blood still thicker than water”?

Because family inheritance is so precious yet frail, like a plant, we have to start growing today. And intentionally. If you intend to pass down guardian and executor, the emotional relationship building starts today – outside the App! The Old Testament of the Bible ended in Malachi 4:5-6 talking about the urgency of repairing the broken relationships in a family.

“See, I will send the prophet Elijah?to you before that great and dreadful day of the?Lord?comes.?He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children,?and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike?the land with total destruction.”

In heritance Digital, we intentionally use the word Tribe instead of family. You heard of the African proverbs, it takes a village to raise a child. Or the old kampong spirit. We understand that not everyone has strong immediate family relationship. Nevertheless, they need the same emotional and psychological support that a family provides. Hence, we advocate that those in small nuclear family seek out close friends and relatives as part of their Tribe. That also helps to offer more options when it comes to guardianship and executorship in their Will. ?

To share a personal example, in my heritance Tribe, I included my late mother because I wanted to pass my emotional relationship with her down to my children. To them, grandma was a “frail and disgruntled” old lady because they only remembered her as a stroke patient in her last days. By connecting her younger days memories to my Tribe, I hope to change that impression in my children when they grow older.

I also included a Christian mentor and a close Christian colleague. Both of them are great encouragers in my fatherhood journey and successful entrepreneurs. When my kids are older, I hope they turn to two of them who can be Christian mentors if they want to do business. And with intention and cultivation starting today, these relationships existing outside the family can turn into powerful and meaningful opportunity and open-door for my children. Think of it as the family Linkedin!

Faith Inheritance

In life, we accumulate a lot more of values, beliefs, guiding principles, work ethics which we can collectively call faith. Our faith is extremely important as it shapes our worldview and morality. It guides us in how we perceive the things around us and how we deal with people around us.

When we study hard and subsequently earn a good income, we want our children to do likewise. If we are cheated or betrayed before, we teach our kids to be guarded when dealing with people. That’s why faith is the next important thing we want to pass down to pass down to the next generation.

The Bible calls us to teach our child the way of the Lord, and when he’s old, he won’t depart from it (Prov 22:6). While being the hallmark of Christian parenting, it is also a tall order. In the last decade, Singaporeans are in pace with the global trend to be more “religionless”. More than half falls under the age group of 15-34.

Sadly, we have heard that more and more Christian youth and young adults departing from their faith. On the other hand, the world Culture is fast embracing unbiblical and ungodly mindsets and values. The Centre of Gravity influencing our next generation values is shifting away from the church to new media and peer influence.

If this is the Age of Decadence as Mr Lim Siong Guan alludes to, the family (not the church) is the last bastion of imparting the right Values, or Faith inheritance. For parents aspiring to do so, family altars, family devotions and modelling are all highly encouraged ways to impart godly faith and values.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 describes faith inheritance to be like a lifestyle.

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.?Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.?Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.?Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Where do we impart faith? At home. How do we do that? Through constant reminder on their hands and at the doors and gates. In modern context, what's in our hands? The phone. What are the doorframes and gates representing access to the external World? Mobile App and social media. What are the parents and children doing when we sit at home, walk along the road, lie down and get up? Posting and reading posts.

That’s also how heritance Digital is relevant. How can we create modern symbols on the hands and writings on the doorframes in the digital age? Here are three examples of how I use the App to advocate faith inheritance to my children.

First, a photo of my four children when they were young with a voice recorded message how they are all precious and my wife and my only desire is to see them united and harmonious even when we are gone. I set this Memory Time Capsule to be released to them upon my death.

Second, a wedding exhortation for my daughters. I posted my own wedding photo with my wife, and a passage from Ephesian 5 that is our guiding verse. This Memory Time Capsule will be released to my daughters when they are married.

Third, my blessing to my children. Just like how Isaac blessed Jacob at his deathbed, and Jacob blessed his twelve sons on his deathbed, the power of a father's blessings and proclamation over his children cannot be undermined. I sent this to each of my children when they turn 21 years old.

Some people ask me: why do I need heritance Digital when there’s already social media that I can curate my special memories and share with my loved ones. I have three answers.

First: Audience. who is on your social media. If I am using facebook to encourage my daughter for her PSLE results, I am very sure she's not on facebook. (or she tries very hard not to befriend me because I may embarrass her friends with my posts.)

Second: Content. what do you post on social media? The average social media users post anything like 10,000 posts in their lifetime. Look at your Google photos or facebook Albums! Our values and precious memories can be lost in the heap of media junks.

Third: Timing. There’s where our Memory Time Capsules comes in. The best message has to be delivered in the best time, best place. Social media is now, now and gone! How do I make sure my kids sit up, pay attention and really catch my values?

Ever since I started using heritance, I have spent considerable time thinking how do I pass down values or faith inheritance not just to my kids but other loved ones? I compose more letters, did more voice messages and look at more old photos. I remember reading a research article during the pandemic that argues the mental benefit that comes with thinking about our legacy. There are spiritual benefits too when we focus on building up treasures in heaven that will not rot and rust, Memories and uplifting messages to the next generation are some of those.

Finance Inheritance

Finally, financial inheritance. Family inheritance is foundational. Faith inheritance is important. But money, how is that part of any good or godly inheritance?

My anchor verse for wealth inheritance comes from Proverbs 22:13

“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.”

When I heard this verse 12 years ago, I was not a believer. But it blew my mind because a person’s goodness is measured by his inheritance to the 3rd generation. It didn’t say a rich man, or an old man. Which means it’s a call for every Christian parent regardless of his wealth to look beyond the immediate generation to the 3rd generation.

It makes sense because the first wealth the Israelites are supposed to inherit and pass down was the Promised Land. The land was not for Abraham, Isaac or Jacob, but their generations after.

Few of us are landowners, but the average Singaporean is worth US$400k. If we add life insurance, the average Singaporean is going to leave behind over half a million USD for the next generation. That’s not too little for a household with two working professionals leaving $1mil USD to their children.

Many people tend to over-generalize or simplify financial inheritance. Just give to spouse and children equally when they pass on. They are so (over-) confident of their estate plan that they even leave it to the State law or Intestate Succession Act to determine their distribution. They fail to realize the many social ills caused by Sudden Wealth Syndrome. Or the principle of timing and maturity that is highlighted in Galatian 4:1-2.

What I am saying is that as long as an heir is underage, he is no different from a slave, although he owns the whole estate.?The heir is subject to guardians and trustees until the time set by his father.

Financial inheritance that is too much, too early and too unprepared can ruin the heir's life, causing them to be unmotivated to excel in life. If I were to inherit my parent's $1mil insurance policy or HDB at the age 18, I imagine I wouldn't work hard to be who I am today.

Casual financial inheritance planning leads to inheritance casualty. We see the earlier statistics that 70% of trust beneficiaries fight among themselves. Family and wealth are divided as a result.

Now I am a big advocate for moving away from outright immediate inheritance to young children, to creating intentional delayed gifts based on the children achieving certain milestones or conditions matched to the parent’s personal values.

Let's take a look at just 7 examples of the App that help users create meaningful gifts that can enrich the next generation.

1.??????Create a '2nd CPF' to promote hard work ?

2.??????All expenses paid family vacation to promote family unity.

3.??????Paying for downpayment of housing to avoid late marriage

4.??????Paying for children's financial literacy courses

5.??????Creating a lifelong learning fund to constantly upgrade in life

6.??????Subsidizing allowance and education expenses of grandchildren

7.??????To tithe a tenth of our estate to our church or support mission work

The App has over 20 conditional bequests that is tailored made from your values selection. Borrowing Gal 4:1-2 principles, you can also custom made your well-timed gifts such as 21st Birthday Maturing Gift or Wedding Gift to celebrate significant milestones.

The 3F legacy prepares our next generation for the future

While the financial and legal professionals tend to defines legacy from a purely wealth succession angle, it's important to recognize the even more important components of relationship and values succession to literally keep the wealth intact. Estate planning prepares money for our children, but a 3F legacy planning prepares our children to be more resilient and prepared for the future. And this mandate falls squarely on the family. heritance Digital is designed to be the perfect App for the ones who love their family.

Visit www.heritance.org/social-mission for more details of our social mission. ?