Passage Through The Dark of My Soul

On a new cycle of my life

Towards the light of Truth;

Living a life by choice, not by chance,

Listening only to my inner voice,

Not the random thoughts of others;

Without any delusions and illusions

Of false religions, myths, superstitions, man-made beliefs,

Lies and more true lies,

Or the false promises of competition and domination,

Celestial hope and economic exploitation.

“Life begins on the other side of Despair” – Jean-Paul Sartre

It is important to enter the Dark of your Soul.  The greatest privilege of living is to be brought to your knees, and to the brink of life.  At the edge separating this world and whatever next, I once paused to stare into the future and confronted the Truth in its natural, dark nakedness. The purpose of life was never clearer – LIFE HAS NO PURPOSE.  I was, and had always been, alone.  This Truth shall set me Free. 

Only once in your life would you find yourself in that Dark place. You will have only 2 options – Quit or Enter. Darkness wins when you quit. The only way is to plunge into the Darkness with the last gram of your energy. As you ready yourself for the final journey, as you stare into it intensely, at that dark area just between your eyes, the Darkness will stir, slowly as first before suddenly coming alive. Behold, the Darkness stares back. And Yes, it is ALIVE. You shudder. Hesitate. If Darkness were indeed alive, then there is Hope, maybe, and perhaps another Future, probably.  Can there be a Future beyond Hope? Possibly, you wonder.

You brace yourself, grit your teeth, clench your fists, and position yourself for that leap into the Darkness. Holding your breath, you launched. Eyes opened, hands formed an inverted-V, your lips sealed, and with your tongue tasting the sweetness of your saliva, you zip through the seeming endless worm-hole of the Dark … waiting anxiously to reach bottom, or the other side, or anywhere, and nowhere. Panic sets in quickly. Regrets, fears, anxieties and loneliness gripped you. Your sorry existence flashed past you. You want to turn back. Too late. That option is no longer available.  

At first, you see only a pin-dot. You rubbed your eyes, took a deep breath, opened them and saw again that little light-hole at the distance so far, far away. There is light at the end of the tunnel, so you think.   What tunnel? Is it an oncoming train? The mind jokes. The light grows bigger, a port-hole now. As soon as it began, it became quickly larger like a man-hole big enough to enter, or emerge. And before you can think, the Light expanded to envelop, then to embrace you, and you race right through into it.      

The world looks different now. The Darkness did not kill me. Neither did it make me stronger. It led me through into the Light, again. Not the Old Light. Only different this time round, the Darkness has cleansed and stripped me of the delusions and superstitions of philosophies, man-made truths, myths, folklores and religions. Gone are the immutable sense of the surroundings, of temporal acclaims, of meaningless awards, of empty crowns and superficial relationships. Victories and disappointments are revealed as imposters, and the Gods and their gods become basically immaterial and irrelevant to existence.

I did not become stronger. Earlier, I already had the courage not to take my own life.  I took the next best way out of this Life, and opted to challenge the pretentious Darkness. My journey into the Darkness in my Soul yielded one valuable lesson - no one returns from the Darkness. Only the Light of Truth awaits all who dare to enter it. 

Spiritual awakening and mindfulness beckoned from the other side of the Darkness in the soul. This is Enlightenment. They await and welcome all survivors of the journey into the Dark side.   

Only Truth matters now. It has been a while since I passed through the Darkness in my Soul. That Darkness has moved on, never to return. Today, I only walk in the Light of Truth which illuminates my understanding into all things temporal and impermanent. What a wonderful and profitable feeling!

I continue relentlessly in the pursuit of Truth

Beyond conflated myths, facts, and fiction,

To discover the true faith that bridges there to here.

Spiritually awakened, my faith has strengthened

To debunk unbelief and disbelief,

Letting knowledge and wisdom

Overcome delusions & illusions;

Discovering happiness by sharing joy

And well-being with others,

Giving love without expectations of return,

Being grateful for everything and anything,

As life's journey continues

Beyond the darkness in my soul.

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