“Pass it on by treating your interns in future.”
This week, we explored some pretty delectable selections from the hot food menu exclusively available at Raffles City’s Tiong Bahru Bakery. My fusion Ebiko Crab and Prawn Toastie was topped off with an even more appetising lunch conversation with Tiana, who graciously took the time out to speak to us about the digital agenda in the Public Service, amongst other things. Am not going to talk about the lunch per se, though it left me yearning for more, but about some mini musings that fall in the gap between mere passing thoughts and something to treasure in the diary.
It’s nothing new to me, nor do I expect it to be for anyone who has done an internship/ worked under a superior, but I’ve never journaled about the phenomenon myself. I’ll try to make at least a humble attempt, based solely on my perspective.
As an intern/ subordinate, lunching (or eating out in general) with full-time/superiors in general can be quite pressurising, in the case where footing the bill is concerned. On one hand, it feels uncomfortable to accept an offer, or sometimes go into a meal somehow expecting the meal to be paid for by the superior - not out of a sense of entitlement, but by experience and understanding of convention. ‘I mean, I would if it were me,’ (and I indeed have, more often than not, when having my own meals with student mentees and student org members). There is a hint of glee, but also a strategic choice in choosing a reasonably priced dish. At times, my palate is titillated by a costly dish, which I would willingly pay for were I eating alone, but I end up hedging against any pecuniary swing by opting for a lower-priced dish. The bill comes, and we voice the intention of going dutch - sometimes unsure if we do so genuinely because it’s the polite thing to do in light of knowing what is to come (the superior paying for it), or perfunctorily whilst secretly hoping that a treat is on the way. A little back-and-forth occurs, jocosely depending on the level of ‘asian-values’ at play, and the bill is finally settled by the superior. The next time I am asked out, are my expectations (of how the bill will be settled) and convictions (to pay the bill) an indicator of my values? The next time I choose a place to eat at for a meeting, how does my subconscious influence my decision? That same week, it happened too with Chor Pharn - a prospect to spend more time getting to know another person, but a concern over the self-induced awkwardness over what may be, and an acknowledgment that if we remain so-called principled to make the payment ourselves, we’d certainly not do so given the lack of depth of our wallets to dine at certain places. A weighing, a dilemma, a peculiarity of humanity. A response that somehow cannot reach a decision if ever trying to decide what is right. And perhaps it’s just because there is truly no right answer or response. All that there simply is, is My response.
We promise to ‘take the next one’ (again another phrase one’d sometimes not know if truly genuine or but a delusional attempt at resolving guilt), and then a reciprocative chuckle to assure us that it’s completely fine; as she handed her card to the server, Tiana ended it off, as with many other superiors past, “Pass it on by treating your interns in future.”
Interestingly to me, it is this split-second potpourri of emotions where I feel what it means to be human.
Then again, the human in me says, ‘just receive with gratitude and joy,’ and I do - replete with it. But, then again maybe I would try to make my interns pay for my food in future kekeke.