Partnerships in Life and Work

The best research and advice on partnering. Pay attention or pay the price.

The Power of 2: How to Make the Most of Your Partnerships at Work and in Life, by Rodd Wagner and Gale Muller, Ph.D. (Gallup Press, 2009), reviewed by Steve Gladis, Ph.D.

Overview: Life is full of partnerships. These Gallup authors set out on a 5-year research project to identify the critical elements that separate poor from great partnerships. They discovered 8 elements of powerful partnerships: Complementary Strengths, A Common Mission, Fairness, Trust, Acceptance, Forgiveness, Communication, and Unselfishness. As core to the research, Gallup developed the 23 key questions that comprise the Gallup Partnership Rating Scales. These questions appear in the book and will be very helpful in any partnership, especially when combined with coaching.

1.????Complementary Strengths. People are not balanced, but successful partnerships are. Why? Often, we seek out partners who think like we do. But that strategy is flawed. ?Quite the opposite, successful partners recognize their strengths and challenges, find their complement to compensate for their shortcomings, and revere their partner’s strengths.

2.????Common Mission. Nothing unifies like a compelling mission and a strong sense of purpose. A lack of common mission fractures partnerships, whereas a common mission will solidify partnerships and make people sacrifice personal gain for the team’s sake. So, identifying and agreeing on a common mission as soon as possible remains paramount.

3.????Fairness. At the core of all human relationships is fairness. Humans have an innate sense of fairness. They expect others to treat them with genuine care and concern and in turn, through reciprocity, they return the favor. That’s how fairness works. And reciprocity works the other way as well. If you give first, the other feels compelled to repay in equal positive measure.

4.????Trust. Along with fairness, trust is a bedrock ideal of strong partnerships. Trust compels us to extend our relationships with others. Trust involves a kind of giving up, making ourselves vulnerable to a trusted other. And if that trust is violated, it takes a lot of time and energy to rebuild it. Smart partnerships recognize that people will fail and forgive. If trust is not possible, you’re better off working solo.

5. Acceptance. Everyone has strengths and challenges. You might be great at analysis but find crafting an overall strategy a huge issue. The opposite is also true—being strategic, not analytical. However, diversity should be what we seek when forming a partnership. Thus, if one partner has great analytical skills, he/she might want to seek out a partner who thinks more strategically so the partnership is stronger, more resilient.

6.????Forgiveness. Just as people must accept both the strengths and challenges of their partners, forgiveness is the balm that helps soothe the wounds when gaffs and imperfections surface, as they surely will. Without forgiveness, vengeance is possible and negativity can infect the partnership. Soon, partners may begin to erroneously interpret negative impact as actual intention. By assuming worst intentions, partnerships will fail.

7.????Communication. The glue that keeps partnerships together is the ability to communicate, not only when things are going well, but also when they go sour. Understanding the motives, intentions, and thoughts of a partner are essential to consider before making decisions, especially binding, legal decisions. ?And early in a partnership, when you don’t have a lot of experience with a partner, communication is especially important.

8.????Unselfishness.?Often, we enter a partnership because we’re looking for someone to help us. It’s a form of selfishness initially, but over time in successful partnerships, “mutuality” takes over—seeking the same kind of success and well-being for your partner as for yourself.?While accomplishing the mission and hitting a goal by yourself is good, doing it with a partner is great.?