A Partnership, not an Ownership

Marriage - this one word holds a universe of emotions, dreams, and expectations. It is more than just a union of two individuals; it's a bond that ties two families, a commitment spun with tradition, love, and duty. But under all the rituals and celebrations, an essential question often stays: Is marriage an ownership or a partnership?

Our cultural narrative for centuries has bent toward marriage as an institution of control - roles pre-defined, love sometimes being set aside in the face of obligation, and "belonging" to someone often interpreted in the silent mode of submission. The modern marriage, whether it is the fast-paced lanes of a cosmopolitan city or the quiet by lanes of a small town, is slowly turning from an equation of authority into one of companionship.

Ownership in marriage is not always obvious. It is not just about dominance; sometimes, it is disguised as care.

“I am only saying this for your good.”

“This is how things have always been.”

“A good husband/wife should behave in a certain way.”

Such words, although meant well, can become chains. For as long as anybody can remember, women have had to carry this ownership model, that is, the expectation to sacrifice, adjust, and prioritise family over themselves. Men have borne their own hampers: to be an unshakeable provider and then discouraged to even express feelings.

A marriage really flourishes when not in control but in companionship. It is where two people walk together-not one ahead, not one behind, but side by side. It is about lifting each other up, respecting individuality, and sharing responsibilities.

Young couples in cities are redefining gender roles - men helping in household chores, women pursuing ambitious careers, but more importantly both supporting each other.

In smaller towns, change is slower, but it is happening - more families are encouraging their daughters to complete their education before marriage, more husbands are sharing parenting responsibilities.

The essence of partnership is not in grand gestures but in everyday choices:

When a husband asks his wife about her aspirations, not just about what’s for dinner.

When a wife encourages her husband to be vulnerable, to share his fears without judgment.

When both partners understand that marriage is not about one person adjusting - it’s about mutual effort.

Some may argue that Indian traditions emphasise structure in marriage, where roles are clearly defined. But should tradition mean rigidity? Our culture is rich in values of respect, love, and family bonds .

A marriage built on equality does not mean rejecting traditions; it means reshaping them to mounted a more balanced, fulfilling life. Whether it’s an arranged marriage in a conservative household or a love marriage in a progressive family, the foundation should be the same - mutual respect, trust, and shared decision-making.

Marriage in India is at a crossroads. The old ways still linger, but a new dawn is visible. The question is, what kind of marriage do we choose?

One where love is defined by control, or one where it is nurtured by freedom?

One where compromises are one-sided, or one where they are mutual?

One where dreams are clipped, or one where they are encouraged?

So, the next time someone asks, "Who wears the pants in your marriage?"

Smile and say, "We both do, and sometimes, we prefer to dance barefoot together."